


Finding Home

by AvengersCompound (emilyevanston)



Series: Finding Home [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, M/M, Multi, Mutant Powers, Oral Sex, Pining, Rape Aftermath, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-04 15:05:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16348982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/AvengersCompound
Summary: Daisy Adams has abilities.    She can read minds.  Force her thoughts onto others.  As a child she is taken by Hydra and raised as a weapon.  Daisy finds another though, and speaks to him in his dreams.  He has been taken too.  He wants to return to the man he loves.    Can she get them back together?   Will she even want to once she realizes that she’s falling in love?





	1. Chapter 1

I sat staring at the man, frozen in time.  Waiting to be brought out just to be forced to kill again.  This was how I spent most of my time.  Looking at him, listening to his thoughts.  Even frozen he dreamed.  He always dreamed about Steve.

I remember when I first saw him here.  I was five, and while I don’t remember a lot of that time in my life, I do remember that.

I was raised in Hydra.  I don’t really know anything about where I came from before, or why I have the abilities I do.  All I know is I’m different, and I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t.  That’s why I’m here. Telepathic is the word they use.  I can read minds, and project my thoughts into others.  I can also fiddle around in peoples heads a little.  Not much.  I can leave suggestions, and depending on how strong the person is, they may or may not act on them.  I can help people find memories they’ve lost.  Plus I’ve found, that I can help protect peoples memories from being taken from them altogether.   Keep them hidden and protected.  

I have never known parents, but sometimes the people at Hydra were maybe what you’d call nurturing.  I was playing hide and seek with some of the low-level grunts.  A security guard or two, one of the lab techs.  As I ran down a hall looking for somewhere to hide I heard him.  

No, that’s not the right word.  He was frozen.  He wasn’t speaking.  Felt him?  His thoughts intruded on mine.  Visions of a world I had never known. Vintage cars, and girls with bright red lips.  And Steve.  Steve who looked smaller than most of the other people in his thoughts.  Who kept wanting to fight everybody.  Steve who this man loved. Completely unconditionally.  It was not something I’d ever felt from anyone before.  

I sat in the room, pressed up against this metal tube housing him with my eyes closed and just listened in.  Let his love for his friend just wash over me.

Pierce found me. The chances of that happening were pretty low.  I did know who he was at that age.  At least I think I did, but he was not someone I personally had a lot to do with.  He’d asked me what I was doing there.  I told him I was listening to Bucky.  

Bucky.  That’s his name.  It’s not what we call him.  We call him ‘The Winter Soldier’. Or nothing.  But Steve.  Steve calls him Bucky.  In his memories when he hears the name he feels serenely happy.  It washes over me, and I long to feel that kind of happiness too.  

Pierce was angry at first.  Angry that his weapon was experiencing human emotions.  He tried to hide it from me.  He should have known better really.  No one can hide anything from me.  I can read every single thought that passes through their head.  From the passing thoughts of needing coffee to the deep down depraved ones, they would never act on.  

He then realized he could use me.  I remember being terrified.  

Pierce had let Bucky out of his chamber.  The soldier had stepped forward dazed and confused.  I had reached up and touched his metal hand.  It was still cold from the cryogenic chamber.  When I touched him, the plates had shifted against each other and he looked down at me.  A smile just briefly passed over his face, and then they had started to say the words.

Сильное желание  
Проржавевший  
Семнадцать  
Рассвет  
Печь  
Девять  
Доброкачественная  
Возвращение домой  
Один  
Грузовой автомобиль

His face changed.  He uttered the words 'готов подчиняться’ - Ready to comply.  He was no longer Bucky. He was the Winter Soldier.  Pierce had me go over his mind, tell him if I could still see those memories.  Of course, I could.  They hadn’t gone, they were just buried, but I was a child.  I didn’t know I had to lie about that.  

They then tortured him and told me to wipe that part of him away as they did.  I cried the whole time, but I defied them.  I wasn’t taking that away from him.  I learned how to lie that day.  After I had made them believe he was completely blank, they made me give him the orders.  They made a five-year-old girl order a full grown man to go out and murder some people.

Ever since that day, they thought they were using my abilities to keep him in line. Keep his mind blank and ready for programming.  I still laugh when I think about it.  What they had been doing with Bucky had worked just fine.  He complied fully with them.  Now, I was undoing all the work. I was sealing off sections of his memory from them, putting in unlock codes.  Allowing for the potential that one day, he could escape this and maybe, just maybe, he could be happy again.

Over the years I sat and listened to him.  I started to be able to talk to him within his dreams.  I tried not to disrupt them, but occasionally they’d go dark, and I felt an overwhelming need to step in and comfort him. Let him know I was there, protecting him. One day things might be okay again.  I’d figure it out.  

Every time they let him out of the ice he seemed to recognize me a little more.  It got to the point that he’d see me he’d smile and reach for me.  I’d have to plant the suggestion not to as soon as I realized he was conscious.  That doing that was dangerous for both of us.  

A year or so ago, I heard the news that Captain America had come out of the ice.  I had no idea what that meant to begin with.  I scoured the minds of the Hydra agents.  Captain America was an enemy.  They thought he was dead.  He used to be alive back when Bucky was born.  Slowly piece by piece I realized this was Steve.  Bucky’s Steve.  Bucky could be happy again.  

Pierce came up behind me.  

“We need the Soldier.”  He said.

“I know.”

“Is he blank?” He had started to get suspicious again.  It came on from time to time.  It was unavoidable.  I planted the suggestion to believe me.

“Some small memories have started coming back.  I’ve just been clearing them.  I guess he’s resilient.”  

“Why do you spend so much time in here if he’s blank?”

I pushed again.   _\- BELIEVE ME -_    “What else am I going to do?”

Pierce looked dazed for a moment.  Other Hydra agents came into the room and began making the preparations for releasing the Winter Soldier.  Pierce gave me the orders.  He was going after someone in SHIELD.  A higher-up named Fury.  This was big.

I stepped up to the Cryo-chamber.  The door slid down and Bucky stepped out.  

 _-_ _DON’T REACT –_ I pressed.  I took his hands in mine.  He looked at me, his eyes soft.

-  _It won’t be much longer, Bucky.  Steve is back. -_ I told him.

-  _He is?  How? -_

-  _No time. But he is.  You can have him back.  -_

The words began.  He started to panic and I used my mind to soothe him as he lost himself.  

“готов подчиняться.”

  I gave him his instructions. Work with the team.  Take out Fury.  Don’t come back until he’s dead.  At the same time, I countered the instructions in his head.  Don’t kill him.  Come close, but hold back at the last second.  Don’t let them doubt you failed intentionally, but make sure he will live through your attack.  

I was worried this might break him.  Too much conflicting information. I had to risk it though.  

I basically sat around waiting for him to return all day.  Praying that I hadn’t fucked this up.  Agents would come to speak to me, but at the last second, they’d change their mind and veer away from me.  I was projecting to leave me alone pretty strongly.  

Eventually, I went to bed and slept badly.  I was woken in the early morning to come wipe him.

I couldn’t touch him when they did their wipe.  I longed to.  Longed to soothe him, but it was too dangerous.  So I sat near, making sure he stayed Bucky.   When they were done I lead him to the chamber, squeezed his hands and opened his mind, letting Bucky come back.  He looked at me sadly as the door to the chamber closed and he was put back into stasis.  The other agents left the room.  I pushed them out.  The last one even switched off the light.  His mind was so weak he forgot I was even in there.  I slid to the ground and sat with my head pressed up against the chamber.

Bucky was having a nightmare.  He’d seen Steve today.  He only just realized it was him and was dreaming about standing on a roof and killing him.  I stepped in.  

“Bucky. It’s okay.  You’re safe.”

He turned to me, and his image shimmered.  Changing from the Winter Soldier to a young man.  Still a soldier, but this time clean-cut, in a World War 2 military uniform.  Our surroundings changed too, we were at some kind of fair.  I think.  There were people everywhere, and rides.  I hadn’t ever seen anything like it in real life before.  Just in his dreams, and the thoughts of others.  

“I could have killed him,”  Bucky said approaching me.

I took his hands in mine.  In my head, I couldn’t feel them, but in his, it would feel real, and it would comfort him.  “Did you?”

He shook his head.  “No.  Can you do something for next time?  Make sure I don’t.”

I felt sad.  Helpless.  “Of course.  Sorry I didn’t think of it this time.  I didn’t really think you’d see each other.”

“Will I get out of here?”  The look on his face was pure pain.  I pushed for happiness on him, but he resisted.  Like the pain was something he needed.

“I’m doing everything I can, Bucky.”  I looked around our surroundings. “Where are we?”

“Coney Island.  It’s not quite right though.”  He answered glancing around.

“Well, it’s a dream.  Why did you bring us here?”  

“I don’t know.  I guess it reminds me of better times. Being with friends.  Kissing girls.”  His hands slid up my arms.  “Have you never been here?  Maybe I can take you.”

I laughed.  “I’ve never been outside this building that I can remember.”

“Can I kiss you?”  He asked.

I looked at the ground.  “Bucky, this is a dream.”

He tilted my face up to his.  “It feels real to me.  More real than when I’m awake.”

“Wouldn’t you rather kiss him.”  I turned and pointed.  An image of Steve appeared.  Scrawny, small, angry at the world, Steve.  “I can push the idea for you and leave you to it.  It will feel real.”

“Not like that I don’t.”

“You’ve had those dreams before.  You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

He let me go and turned.  I’d pissed him off.  “I’m not embarrassed. I wish you hadn’t seen it but I’m not ashamed that I loved him.  He’s not here though, and I don’t want you making him … do those things.  I don’t need a pimp.”

He was lying.  He was extremely ashamed of his feelings.  He grew up in a world where that mattered.  Two men could not be together like that.  He knew I knew, and he was trying to be strong.  I grabbed him, turning him to face me again.  “I’m sorry.  You can kiss me if you want.  It won’t be the same for me though.  I’m not dreaming.  I’m just sitting here.  It would be like I was talking to someone about kissing them.”

His thumb stroked along my jaw.  “At least you’d have agreed to it.”

His lips met mine.  It was weird like I was watching myself kiss him. The world changed again, and we were in a small bedroom.  It looked so weirdly foreign to me.  Rustic and everything was so old.  I was used to smooth lines, white walls, and high tech.  This was not that.  

I watched as he pushed me onto the bed, his hands sliding up under my shirt.  I started to feel weird like I was intruding on him again.  I considered leaving, but if I left and he wanted to actually talk to me after, it would not work for him properly, and he’d know.  

“Bucky?” I whispered.  “What’s happening right now, is you, not me.”

He sat up looking mortified.  “Sorry!  You don’t want this?”

“It’s not that.  It’s more like… you’re in control, and I’m just watching.  It’s hard to explain.  I’m happy to leave you to it.  If you want.  I just feel weird watching.”

“I hate this, Doll.”  He growled.  “How is this a life?  Next time they let me out, put me out of my misery.”

My heart hurt for him.  So badly.  “You’re why I made it to adulthood, Bucky.  You know how much I love you.   I can’t do that.”  I sighed.  The sigh happened both in the dream and out of it.  “When did you start calling me doll, do you think?  When did I go from a kid to an adult to you?”

He shrugged.  His form shifted again, he now looked like neither the old Bucky or the Winter Soldier.  He was somewhere in between.  He had the long hair and the metal arm, but he was him.  Not what they’d made him.  “I don’t know.  Thanks for reminding me that there is an extra level of how weird I should feel about this though.”

I laughed.  “Sorry.  Don’t feel weird about your feelings though. You’re not exactly living a normal life.”

“I’m not living a life at all.”

I held his hand and we sat quietly for a while.  “Buck, when I get you out of here.  I won’t be with you.  Something will happen.  It will make you remember, while you’re the soldier.  It won’t be clean though.  You’ll have to – I don’t know – relearn who you are? Unlock your memories?  It won’t be easy.”

“It has to be better than this though.”

“I hope so.”  I smiled, giving his leg a squeeze.  “Know that I love you though.  You’ve been my family.  The way you feel about Steve, it’s the only real love I’ve ever felt.”

He hugged me. It was tight, and I was pulled right up close to his body. I wish I could have felt it.  I would have liked to have heard his heart beating.  Felt the warmth from his body.  

Others entered the room.

“Shit, Bucky.  They’re back.  Gotta go.”  I broke the connection.  

“What are you doing in here, Adams?”  Brian, one of the lab techs, asked.

“I wasn’t in here.  I just followed you in.”  I said, pressing the idea onto everyone in the room.  

“Oh right, sorry.” He said.  “We need to get him out again.  They’re sending him after Captain America.”


	2. Chapter 2

I sat waiting for Bucky to return or to not. I hoped that he wouldn’t. That maybe this time Steve would recognize him and say his name. That when he did, the trigger would work properly, and Bucky would go to him. I wasn’t sure how well my triggers would work though. I’d never tested them.

I was paged. He’d returned and my heart sank.

When I entered the room I could tell something was different about him. It was like he wasn’t totally the Winter Soldier. Bucky was there too. He looked at me panicked and he lashed out at one of the men working on him. The tech flew across the room and fell to the floor unconscious. An alarm was sounded, and soldiers filed into the room.

“Adams! What are you doing? Calm him!” Brian yelled at me.

“Soldier, relax,” I said, holding my hand out to him. I pressed the thought calm to him and as I approached. He seemed to relax for a minute, and suddenly he lunged at me dragging my body against his, holding me by my throat with his metal hand.

“Bu – Soldier!” I yelped. I pushed calm on him, and at the same time, I thought ‘Bucky, please. What happened?’

It helped but only a little. He didn’t let me up, but I didn’t feel like I was going to be murdered. He wouldn’t reply though. Not with his thoughts, nor with his voice. I relaxed against him. Partly just so he might relax too, but even though I knew I wasn’t safe, he could kill me at any moment, this was the most physical contact I’d ever had with Bucky and I didn’t want to be experiencing it in sheer terror. He was the only family I had and we’d only ever touched hands before.

“I don’t know what we do here.” One of the soldiers shouted. “Which asset is more important?”

“Don’t you dare shoot the soldier.” I snapped. “It’s fine. I have this. And don’t call me an asset.”

We waited. I thought soothing thoughts and tried unlocking him from his mental cage. It was difficult with the Soldier so far in control. It was likely why he was only partly there. He relaxed though. By the time Pierce came into the room, he was staring blankly ahead, I was still sitting in his lap, but his hand had moved to grip my arm.

Pierce looked right past me. “Mission report.”

Bucky’s grip tightened.

“Mission report, now!” Pierce suddenly slapped him, hard right across the face. His hand squeezed painfully on my arm and it felt like my bone was about to break. I cried out projecting the thought into Bucky. He let me go and I got up. I wanted to put my hands on him. With Pierce there, I wasn’t sure I’d get away with it.

“That man on the bridge …” Bucky said looking at Pierce. “Who was he?”

I pushed the word Steve at him.

Something passed over Pierce’s features. He looked at me and then back to Bucky. “You met him earlier this week on another assignment.”

“I knew him.”

I pushed harder. Bucky, it was Steve. Your friend. He resisted me. The soldier was holding me out. He doesn’t want to know. I don’t know why Pierce was getting Bucky, but all I was getting was the Soldier.

Pierce sat down in front of Bucky. “Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped this century, and I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow morning we’re gonna give it a push. But if you don’t do your part, I can’t do mine, and Hydra can’t give the world the freedom it deserves.”

“But I knew him.”

“Prep him.”

I saw it clearly, I was getting the soldier and Pierce was getting Bucky because that is what the Soldier wanted. He wanted Bucky gone for good. He was pushing Pierce to wipe him. I put my hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Like somehow that would protect him. “But he’s been out of Cryo-freeze too long,” I said desperate to stop what was about to happen. I needed to unlock him.

“Then wipe him.”

The scientists pushed me out of the way and started preparing him for full mind wipe. This would undo everything I’d done.

I put as many walls up as I could. I’d have to reset things tonight while he’s in cryo. Maybe figure out a way to have him escape next battle.

Pierce grabbed my arm, right where Bucky had been holding it. I flinched as he dragged me from the room.

“What just happened in there?”

“I guess he’s stronger than we both thought.” I shrugged. “He’s never been around someone familiar before.”

“If I find out you did something?” Pierce seethed.

I shrugged. “You’ve been having me wipe his mind for twenty years now. Has anything like this ever happened? You want me to stop? Fine. You want me to leave? Whatever. But why you’d possibly think I’d sabotage the only home I’ve ever known …”

“We are launching a strike tomorrow. I want you to be there. We can use you to sway those in SHIELD who might be unwilling to see our point of view.” Pierce said. “Can I trust you with that?”

I pushed trustworthiness on him. “I don’t know what I’ve done to make you think otherwise.”

He stared at me for a minute, trying to decide if his thoughts are his or not. “Go in and take care of the asset. We are keeping him out of freeze tonight. Make sure he stays blank. Clear his mind of anything the wipe may have missed. Here are the instructions for tomorrow.” He handed me a folder. “You’ll travel with him. Hail Hydra.”

He turned and marched off. “Hail HYDRA,” I muttered under my breath.

Back in the room, the scientists were unhooking Bucky from the machine. He was totally blank.

“Bring him to my room,” I told one of the scientists. He looked at me like was insane, and I pushed the order onto him with everything I had. It made me feel dizzy when I was done, but everyone in the room complied. One thing that is good about Hydra; they never like thinking for themselves. Not having to think seems to be their major philosophy.

They led both of us to my quarters and locked us in. While I did have a little free reign around the facility, when I went to my room I was locked in until morning. With my abilities, I could avoid being taken to my room if I wanted, but the lockdown at night was automatic. No matter how much I pushed that I was one of them, my abilities made me untrustworthy, and while I was here I would always be a prisoner.

My room was a sterile white thing, with a desk and a twin bed. There were no windows and the walls and door were lined with a thick steel which blocked my thoughts from those outside. It meant that if I was acting up I couldn’t influence anyone outside to do anything. It also had the added benefit of giving me absolute silence. Something I didn’t get very often.

Bucky sat blankly on the end of my bed. I threw his instructions on my desk and crouched in front of him. I started opening up the barriers I put in his mind. Without the Winter Soldier there it’s actually easy. Slowly Bucky came out and looked around the room.

“Where am I?” He asked. He sounded a little drunk.

“In my room. What happened today?”

“I’m actually awake? Let’s get out of here!” He jumped up and went to the door. Even with his Super Soldier strength and the metal arm, that door didn’t budge.

I laughed. “Sorry, Buck. I’m just as much a prisoner here as you are. They’ll come and say your trigger words tomorrow, and you’ll be the soldier again. For now, we have to figure out a way to let you get  _you_  back so you can escape.”

He turned suddenly and approached me, touching my face first with his metal hand and then with his real one. “I can’t believe I’m me. When was I last me?”

I shook my head trailing my hands down his torso. “I don’t know. Might have been almost seventy years ago. I don’t really know what parts of your story are real. Dream stuff gets confused easily.”

“You’re a real person.” His metal thumb traced over my lip. He was gentle with it in a way I would have thought impossible. It made my skin tingle, and I wanted him to push it into my mouth so I could taste it. “I know I keep seeing you when they bring me out, but it’s for such a short time and I always feel bleary, like I’m still half in the dream. I wasn’t sure if I invented you to keep me company.”

“Bucky. You have to focus. I need to know what hap -” My words are cut off by his mouth on mine. His kiss was urgent and hungry. He had been wanting this affection for longer than I’ve been alive. I wrapped my arms around his waist my hands traveling up his back. I opened my mouth for him and his tongue pushed inside. I pressed mine against it and caressed my lips against his. When he finally had had enough we pulled apart panting.

His hands remained on my cheeks and he looked down at me like he couldn’t believe I was real. His thoughts were confused. He wanted me, but he wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t tell if what he felt is a real love for me and that the desire had come from that or if it was just that I was warm and he was him for the first time in so long. The thought of me as a child kept entering his head. It made him feel guilty and dirty.

I don’t want to use my abilities on him but I’ve started to think I’m not going to have any choice. “You’re really here, Bucky. This isn’t a dream. We don’t have a lot of time though. They’re going to use you again tomorrow. We need to figure out how to stop them.”

“Can I – I just – it’s been …”

His thoughts overwhelmed me. He just wants affection.

I led him to my bed and pushed him down onto it.

“Lie down,” I said and he complied. I crawled into the bed next to him and he wrapped his arms around me. I could hear his heartbeat, it’s running fast. Waking him up was a mistake. My fingers trace along his face. “Tell me what happened today. Do you remember?”

“I remember everything they make me do.” He said sadly. “I saw Steve, and we fought. For a long time. I think whatever you did worked because I was holding back. He knocked my mask off, and he recognized me.”

He stopped talking, but I can hear his thoughts. Steve said his name, and just as I’d planted Bucky became conscious. The Winter Soldier had been too strong for him though. I don’t know how I can counteract that. If the Soldier is dominant, I don’t think there’s anything I can do to suppress him. Not without the machine they use to wipe him. It was hard enough just calming him down when I was present. There is no way I can make sure he’d be able to break free totally.

“Was it hard sharing your body with the Soldier?”

“I – I -” His mind is full of turmoil. It was awful. I’m scared whatever I do to him tonight will mean he has to live with the Soldier forever.

“It’s okay. I can see.” I touched his lips with my fingers and he lent down and kissed me.

I ground my hips against him without even meaning to. It’s like my body reacted to him and was completely out of my control. His cock hardened against me and I felt guilty. I couldn’t tell if those were my feelings or his intruding on me. Is it guilt for making him want me like this? Or guilt because he still keeps thinking of me as a child?

“I’m not a kid, Bucky. And you never really knew me as one. Not really.”

He laughed, it’s the first genuine sign of happiness I’ve seen since he woke up. “You see that, huh?”

“I see everything. I see how you want to take me on a date, buy me flowers, kiss me at the door. I see how that makes you feel guilty because you also want to do that with Steve. I see how you’re thinking about what my pussy tastes like. I see how you want to stick your finger in it, not your real fingers though, these ones.” I take his cybernetic hand in mine and push it against my crotch. “I can see how you wonder if Steve would like to share me with you. That maybe if you introduced the idea of both of you having sex with me, that might get you both in bed together. I can also see the really dark stuff. Like how you want to choke me as I come. How you just want to take me now to shut me up.”

Bucky blinked at me. I’d shocked him, but strangely he was not embarrassed. He is so used to me just being in his head, he doesn’t consider it an intrusion anymore. He’s just surprised that I’d say those things out loud. “And what are you thinking?” He asks. He’s turned it into a game.

I pushed my thoughts on him. Thoughts of me naked, spread for him slick with sweat as he pounds away at me, holding me by the throat. Of me on my knees sucking his cock. All the thoughts of the things I want to do to him, and I want him to do to me. Even the ones I don’t really want at all.

“Wow, I didn’t think dames thought like that at all.” Bucky grinned when I’m done. He rolled over, so he was above me, I spread my legs and he ground against me.

“In my experience, almost everyone thinks like that. I’ve only met a few people who haven’t.”

He started kissing me along my body. He took hold of my shirt with his metal hand and just tore it like it was made of paper. I gasped and arched into him, aching for him to be rough with me too. His mouth moved to my breast and he flicked at my nipple with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. My skin tingled and I hummed. He slipped his hand into the waistband of my pants, the cold metal pushed between my folds, finding my clit immediately. A jolt shot through my body and I tensed up.

“Bucky?”

He hummed as a way of a response.

“Can you feel things with you’re prosthetic arm?”

He pushed a finger into my cunt, and at the same time as I felt the cold steel push into me, I was taken over by the feeling of warmth and wetness squeezing against unyielding metal.

I groaned loudly at the sensory overload. No one has ever pushed their thoughts onto me like that before. I can seek them out, and I always have them as background noise, but that was new. Maybe the connection I’d kept with Bucky all these years had changed him a little. Made us permanently connected.  He’d worked out a way to use it.

Bucky released my nipple from his mouth and looked up at me, a wicked smile spread over his face. “I felt that. You nearly came.” He hooked his finger inside of me, and his thumb countered the pressure he is created inside me by pressing against my clit. It sent a spark through me, and I moaned, clutching at the sheets.

“Stay in my head while I eat you out.” He purred.

Eat you out. Did people back in the forties use that term or did he get it from me? I opened my mind to him allowing us both to share our feelings.

He pulled my pants off and tossed them aside, and began nuzzling at my crotch. The scent of my cunt filled me and I could feel myself getting even wetter than I already was. He spread my folds and he flattened his tongue, running it up my crevice, tasting me. My mouth watered as the sweet musky flavor of myself mixed with the feeling of his tongue sending shivers through my body. His fingers pushed back inside me and he moved them in and out as he swirled his tongue over my clit.

“Oh fuck.” I groaned, arching off the mattress.

He liked how I tasted and he was enjoying how my body was responding to him. Which in turn made my responses even stronger. I felt like I was coming apart. As I reached my climax I close my mind off to him, worried that the feeling of my orgasm in his mind would set him off. So when I came, it is me alone, clenching around his fingers, crying out.

He swiped his tongue one last time along my slit and sat up. “You cut me off.” He grinned, as he began unfastening his pants.

“I was worried it would be too much.” I panted.

He laughed. “Yeah, it might have been. I still felt you projecting it a little. It was pretty intense.”

“This connection we have is strange, don’t you think? I’ve never had that before.”

He laughed. “I don’t know. I’ve been talking to you entirely in dreams for the last twenty years. That’s probably a little stranger. I’m not sure what’s normal anymore.”

He pushed his pants off and stalked over my body. I pulled him into a kiss actually tasting myself for the first time ever. He aligned his cock with the entrance to my cunt, and a brief thought passed through my head. We have no protection. This is reckless.

He entered me and the thought is gone. I tensed around him and clung to his neck. We moved together, grinding, thrusting rolling out hips as our mouths clashed against each other.

I pushed the need to be on top to him, and he took hold of me and rolled us over. I sat up leaning on his shoulders. I ran my finger down where his flesh met steel.

“Does it hurt?” I asked.

He shook his head and I started rolling my hips against him. Hands stroked down my body, his thumbs grazed over my nipples as they moved downwards. His fingers found my clit and he gripped onto my hip as I rocked against him.

I clenched down and started to really ride him, rocking back and forth, bouncing against him. He sat up, wrapping his arms around me holding me to him as I brought us both closer to climax. He bit down into my shoulder, setting me over, I came again cursing out loudly.  He followed closely spilling inside me and collapsing back onto the bed.

I lay down next to him, my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling the bed covers up. I reached above us turning the lights out.

“Bucky,” I whisper.

“Mm-hmm.”

“I’m scared that this is all you’re gonna get. This is your last day where you get to be you and not him. The way the soldier fought to stay in control, I don’t know how to override that without the mind wipe machine.”

He placed a kiss on my head. “Well thank you for at least giving me one more day. I know whatever happens after this, you were trying to help.”

He drifted off to sleep, and I spend the night working on his mind, finding things to help bring him back, and take control from the Soldier.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky and I were awakened by the sound of his words blasting over the loudspeaker. It was deafening.

Сильное желание

Bucky started chanting the word ‘no’ over and over, as he scrambled to pull his pants on. I, on the other hand, kept chanting the word 'shit’.

Проржавевший

I pulled some clothes on and went to Bucky. He was crouched on the floor, covering his ears in a futile attempt to block out the sound.

Семнадцать

I started putting in the mental barriers.

Рассвет

“Daisy. Please. Don’t let them take me.” Bucky pleaded with me. He wanted me to kill him. I could see it clearly in his head.

Печь

I took his face in my hands. “It’s going to be okay. I promise. This is the last time.”

Девять

“What if I never see you again?”

Доброкачественная

I kissed him. It broke my heart. My head was full of the thought 'don’t project this dread you’re feeling on him’.

Возвращение домой

“You’ll be free, Bucky. You won’t ever have to do this again.”

Один

I pulled him to his feet. We needed to make this look professional.

Грузовой автомобиль

“готов подчиняться” The Winter Soldier said. Bucky was gone.

I grabbed the briefing manual from my desk and start drilling him with his instructions as I countered them in my head. Soldiers filed in rifles pulled. I could feel their doubt. They had expected me to have set Bucky against them. Not a bad idea really. Bucky could have gotten out of here if I’d done that. I’m not sure I would have been so lucky.

I finished the briefing and turned to them pressing the thought that I am both trustworthy and in charge onto them. They lowered their weapons.

“I guess we better get on with it then.” I snapped, pushing past the soldiers. “Soldier.”

Bucky followed me. I touched on his mind, and it’s full of murder. Full of the Winter Soldier.

I took him to the armory. I hadn’t actually been in there since I was a kid. He pushed past me and started dressing fully in his leather armor. Brian came up behind me.

“What were you doing with him in your room?” He asked.

“What I was told. Keeping his mind blank. Getting rid of whoever it was he used to be.”

“Why didn’t you do it in the lab?”

I rolled my eyes. “Because we were fucking all night.” I snarked. “I wanted to be comfortable. What’s it to you anyway? He was my responsibility. Not yours. He’s ready to go. What more do you want?”

I saw what the mention of fucking does in his head. The things he would do to me if he could. It made me sick.

I moved away from him. Rumlow handed me a bullet-proof vest and I pulled it on and he pushed me into the back of one of the trucks.

I was taken with a group to SHIELD. Stepping out of the truck was like walking into a dream. I don’t remember ever feeling the sun on my skin before. I stood there blinking, taking deep breaths. Rumlow took me by the arm and I was dragged inside again.

We filed upstairs and into a control room. Many of the men I am with are known SHIELD agents. No one suspected anything of us. I scanned the room, most of the people here are good people. There is hope.

Standing in the back of the room I watched the numbers count down to whatever this is. I considered pushing the order to cancel the countdown. I was just about to when a voice came over the loudspeaker.

“Attention all SHIELD agents, this is Steve Rogers. You’ve heard a lot about me over the last few days. Some of you were even ordered to hunt me down, but I think it’s time, to tell the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was. It’s been taken over by Hydra. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The S.T.R.I.K.E. and Insight crew are Hydra as well. I don’t know how many more, but I know they’re in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want. Absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won’t end there. If you launch those helicarriers today, Hydra will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way. Unless we stop them. I know I’m asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high. It always has been. And it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it, but I’m willing to bet I’m not.”

I smiled. The minds of everyone are in turmoil. I pressed the need to listen to Steve into those who are most open to it. Rumlow walked over to one of the agents on the controls.

“Pre-empt the launch codes. Send those ships up now.” Rumlow barked.

The agent was terrified. I pushed into him the need to fight him.

“Is there a problem?” Rumlow asked.

The agent shook his head and stuttered a reply. I took a step towards him. Pushing harder. Pushing into the room.  _LISTEN TO STEVE._

“Is there a problem?” Rumlow yelled.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m not going to launch those ships.” The man stuttered.

Can you feel both more relaxed and more tense at the same time? That’s how I felt. They were fighting. That’s what I wanted. I was now in more danger than I’d ever been.

“Captain’s orders.” The agent said, a little more forceful than before.

Rumlow raised his gun, pointing it at the agents head. I tried to press into him the need to back down, he’s stronger than a lot of Hydra, he believed in the cause. “Move away from your station.” He barked.

Another agent drew her gun, pointing it at Rumlow. “Like he said.”

There was a sudden flurry of movement, Hydra versus SHIELD. I backed up against the wall. I tried pushing calm into the room but my own fear got mixed in with it. Everyone was on edge.

“Captain’s orders.” The woman said.

“You picked the wrong side, agent,” Rumlow growled.

“Depends on where you’re standing.”

Rumlow dropped his gun. Maybe I was wrong, and my push had worked. It took less than thirty seconds for me to find out I was wrong. He pulled a knife slashing at the agent. A gun battle broke out.

“Adams calm the room!” Rumlow yelled at me as he typed the launch code into the computer. “Do your job.”

“Fuck you,” I yelled back. Pushing the need to fight harder.

Rumlow was chased from the room. I went to block him. He picked me up and threw me. That’s the last thing I remember.

* * *

I woke up in a hospital. There were guards on the door and I was strapped to the bed. I scanned the room to find out what had happened. There seemed to be a lot of confusion, but the helicarriers had been taken out. That was something.

I called to one of the guards. He gave me a withering look.

“I need to speak to Steve Rogers,” I said.

He laughed at me. I pushed. “I need to speak to Steve Rogers.”

He left the room.

This carried on for days. I never answered anyone, just said I needed to speak to Steve Rogers. They’d go to get him, but because they couldn’t convince people the way I could, nothing happened.

I was moved to a prison facility. Kept in my own cell. They’d started to be able to tell that there was something more to me than just some Hydra agent. The fact so many people seemed so strongly influenced by me to get Steve Rogers made them suspicious. They started running tests on me. I didn’t care. I never spoke to anyone. I think they must have found the reports on me at Hydra at some point because they very clearly started calling my telepathic at one point.

I was sitting on my bunk scanning the people around me as I often did. I’d been here for two months now. I still hadn’t spoken to anyone except to say I needed to speak to Steve Rogers.

I felt him before I saw him. The cocky self-assuredness, surrounded by the blanket of pain and fear. My door opened.

“Well hello there. Daisy isn’t it? They tell me that’s your name.” A man stood in the door. He was only just a little taller than me, with dark hair and a dark goatee beard. His suit was a dark blue and tailored to fit him perfectly. He waved the guards away and came and sat next to me. He was cocky. I’d give him that.

“I need to speak to Steve Rogers.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard. Do you know who I am?”

I looked at him, scanning his mind. He knew Steve. I could see it clearly. I needed to co-operate with this man. “Tony Stark. You like to think of yourself as Iron Man though. I don’t know what that means. I also don’t care. I need to speak to Steve Rogers.”

“See that doesn’t help. I don’t know if you actually read my mind then or if you just know who I am. Most people just know who I am.”

I looked at him. “I need to speak …”

He held up his hand to shush me. “Steve Rogers. I know. Look, Uri Geller. I’m here to help. I can get you to Cap. I need to know why though. I need to know for sure you’re what they say you are.  I also need to know you aren’t a threat.”

I pushed the words straight into his head.  _I NEED TO TALK TO STEVE ROGERS._

He sat back startled. “That was a neat trick. Tell me this. I’m thinking of a number between one and one million.”

“Seven,” I said quickly. “No, you just changed it to 14,789.  Now you’re wondering how much I can see.  I can see everything, Mr Stark.  Would you like me to show you?  I would consider seeing someone for that PTSD.  The things you’ve seen …”

He looked at me sadly and I stopped talking.  

“Daisy, they say you’re pregnant. Who’s the daddy?”

I didn’t answer.

“Would you tell Cap?”

I nodded.

“Well come on then, let’s get you out of here.”

* * *

Stark took me to a tower in New York. It had the words 'The Avengers’ plastered on the side. I was given a room. He said I wasn’t a prisoner, and I was able to walk around on this one floor. None of the windows opened for me though and I couldn’t call the elevator. At least there were windows I guess. It was nice being able to see the sun.

I stood pressed up against the glass letting the warmth radiate against my skin when he entered the room. I turned excitedly.

“Steve?”

“They told me you’ve been looking for me. Do I know you?” A tall, muscular man stood in the middle of the room. This man did not look like Steve Rogers. He was much, much bigger.

“You’re not Steve Rogers. Stop lying to me. I need to speak to him.”

He chuckled. “Who were you expecting?”

“Steve is a little guy. You aren’t him. Tony said I could speak to him. Get him for me.”

“Who are you? Who told you I was a little guy?” I didn’t know why he was lying. Did they want to trick me to come clean? How was he projecting that he was Steve Rogers so loudly too? I could normally see past that kind of petty lie.

“No one told me  _you_  were a little guy. I  _know_  Steve Rogers is a little guy because I’ve seen him.” I pushed the image of Steve into this man’s head. He staggered back like I’d punched him in the guts.

“That’s me. Before the serum. Who are you?”

The serum. Of course. Like they’d given Bucky. I scanned his mind, he was thinking about the day he’d taken it. It was Steve. I ran over to him.

“Did you find Bucky? Is he okay?”

He grabbed my arms, squeezing them painfully. “What do you know about Bucky?” He was so angry at me. I don’t know why, but it hurt my head.

So I told him. I told him my whole life story. How I’d grown up talking to Bucky in his sleep. How Bucky’s love for him and kept me going. How I’d started protecting his mind. How we spoke in his dreams. About that night we spent together.

“Stark said you were pregnant,” Steve said. He looked like he was in pain.

I nodded.

“That baby; It’s Bucky’s.” He said. It was more of a statement than a question. I answered him anyway.

“Yes.” It was then I realized, Bucky hadn’t stayed with Steve. “You don’t know where he is.” I felt defeated. Alone and broken. Whatever I did hadn’t worked properly.

He led me to the couch and sat down with me. “We’ve been looking. He leaves trails, but they keep coming up empty.” He put his hands on my stomach like he might feel something even though I’m only a couple of months pregnant. I probed his mind and see how much he loves Bucky too. How him touching me is a way to connect to his friend. He wouldn’t even consciously know that if I asked, but that’s why he did it. It made me want to cry. I put my hands on his and let him feel the strange and alien brain activity of the life growing in me. It’s primitive and doesn’t mean much, but I wanted to share it with him.

He looked up at me. “What’s that you’re doing?” He’s worried I’m trying to mess around with his mind. I break the connection.

“Sorry. That was the baby. I know it feels weird. I just thought you might like to feel it too. Because …” I press the image of Bucky into his mind.

He softened, his hands stroked over mine like he was trying to reassure me that I did nothing wrong. “You loved him.”

I nodded. “I want Bucky to know the baby. He’d choose you over me, but I still …” I shook my head. “It’s a piece of both of us.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. “I’m glad he had you. The thought of him being alone for all those years …” He trailed off.

“Even without me, he had you. It was all dreams anyway. I think I just made it worse for him.”

Steve smiled at me. It was sad, but in his head, he felt happy. Happy his friend had kept the thought of them together close all these years. “Come on. Let me introduce you to the others.”


	4. Chapter 4

Living at the Avengers tower ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to me. They accepted me as one of their own very quickly. I was given free rein of the building and even allowed to leave whenever I wanted. I spent whole days out in Central Park, sometimes just laying in the sun. Something about being with these people affected my abilities. They were stronger now. It was much less common to meet a mind that I couldn’t affect a little. I was able to cut out the background noise. I have no idea what it was. Being around people who I actually considered friends? Being able to go outside? Maybe it was being pregnant? Maybe the baby shared my powers and we were using them together?

One of the Avengers, Bruce, shared his body with another. Kind of like Bucky and the Winter Soldier. Bruce had done it to himself though, and it was hard to know when the other guy would take control. I helped put in triggers to break him free when the other guy took over.

I wanted so badly to go out into the field and see my triggers at work in a real situation but Steve forbid it. I know not many of the others thought it was a good idea either. I wasn’t exactly a fighter, and there was the whole pregnancy thing. Tony would take me if it were up to him, but he was the only one. So instead it was down to Natasha to unlock Bruce from the other. I liked knowing that it worked though. It gave me hope that if we found Bucky I could still help him. When they got home I’d talk to Nat, scan her mind as she told me all about it. It made me feel happy and confident in what I was capable of.

Steve and I fell into this very domestic relationship. He wanted to look after me the way I had Bucky. Look after Bucky’s child. He doted on me. Making sure any cravings I had were satisfied. When I complained about pain, he would give me back or neck rubs. There were concerns about Hydra coming for the baby or there being something unusual about the pregnancy or birth-given my powers and the fact the father had been given super-soldier serum, so specialists were brought in. Steve attended every medical appointment I had. He got extremely excited about getting to see the baby via ultrasound. I didn’t mean to, but I fell for him. Hard.

I think part of it was that I had grown up loving him. He was Steve. Bucky’s Steve. I shared Bucky’s feelings with him so often, that I had loved him before I even had met him. Partly it was the attention he was giving me. I’d been starved it my whole life. It was like a drug. Mostly it was just that Steve was everything Bucky had always shown me. Fierce. Loyal. Kind. How could you not fall in love with him?

To everyone on the outside, we were a happy little family. Except we weren’t. He was so obsessed with keeping Bucky’s baby near him that he blatantly ignored the fact he was having feelings for me too.

When I had been there for around two months a man came. They said he was a god. I could barely even touch his mind. When I tried it was like trying stare into an eclipse. He always knew I was doing it too, and he laughed this big booming laugh and told me to keep trying, one day it might work. His name was Thor, and he wanted to find a scepter. The group all worked as a team following leads on where Hydra was hiding. They’d go out together and come home completely battered and empty-handed.

They had come home from one such mission, I was watching TV with Sam and Steve came in slid into the couch next to me put his head on my lap and kissed the swell of my belly. I stroked my fingers through his hair. He was exhausted and frustrated. His body covered in scrapes and bruises. He also thought he’d broken a rib. The pain radiated out from him into me.

“If you let me come with you, I’d be able to tell straight away if the scepter was there,” I said.

“No, Daisy. It’s too dangerous.”

“I’m not helpless you know. I go out with Sam sometimes.”

“Hey, don’t bring me in on your domestics.” Sam yelped.

“Only when I’m absolutely sure it will be safe. These missions are to Hydra bases, there is always fighting.”

“I wouldn’t even need to get out of the jet.”

Steve sat up and looked at me, his eyes narrowed. His mind was full of anger and fear. “I said no. So drop it.” He stood up and headed towards the bathroom. “I’m going to have a shower.”

“You’re in trouble.” Sam sang as Steve disappeared into his room.

“I wish he wouldn’t touch me like that all the time. I’m so fucking horny.”

Sam laughed. “Well don’t look at me. I’m not going to get in between you two.”

“You two. What two? There is no two.” I muttered under my breath.

Sam scooted a little closer to me and put his arm around me, hugging me. “Daze, you can read his mind. Surely you can see he wants you. It’s pretty obvious to everyone else.”

“Oh I can see, Sam. I can see  _everything._ In fine detail. If I bring it up he says he can’t because I’m Bucky’s girl.” I snapped. “Bucky’s girl. He’s Bucky’s girl.”

Sam burst out laughing. “Did you just call Captain America a girl?”

I got up. “I’m going to talk to him again.”

“Good, you should.”

“Well, I am.”

Sam just laughed and waved me away.

I sat at the end of Steve’s bed waiting for him to come out of the shower. When I heard the water switch off I projected that I was in his room so he wouldn’t just walk out naked.

Steve opened the door and stood, leaning in the doorway a towel wrapped around his waist. “If it’s about coming with us again …”

“It’s not about that.”

“Are you okay? Is it the baby?” He started approaching me and I looked into his mind. I had to dig around a little, his main thoughts were a concern that there was something wrong with Bucky’s baby. That’s how he always thought about it. It was Bucky’s baby. Not my baby. His.

I found what I was looking for, he had an image of himself dropping his towel and coming for me, pushing me back onto the bed and entering me. I pulled it up and pushed it back onto him.

He stopped dead and scowled at me. “Get out of my head, Daisy.”

“Like I can help it.” I shrugged.

“You could not use it against me like that. I don’t mean to have those thoughts.”

I sighed and patted the bed next to me. “Steve, you’re not even the only one in this building who has those thoughts. The more obviously pregnant I become, the fewer people have them about me, but you should see what Tony thinks about doing to Natasha. It would make your head spin.”

“But he’s with Pepper.” He sat down beside me but he wouldn’t look at me.

I shrugged again. “Sometimes people think things, and they’re intrusive. They don’t mean them. It just happens. That’s not what’s happening with you. You do actually want that - me.” I groaned and flopped back onto his bed. “Steve, I grew up knowing Bucky. Like really know him, in a way most people wouldn’t know another person. You keep thinking of me as his. You know who was really his?”

Steve shook his head. He knew the answer. He didn’t want to hear it.

“You were his, Steve. You will always be his. I know you feel the same way about him too. That’s okay. But Bucky isn’t here. When I was with Bucky it was just because I was there and you weren’t. He loved me, but not in the way he loves you. Now I’m here. Do we really have to pretend these feelings we have for each other aren’t there because this is his baby? We may never see him again …”

“Don’t say that.”

“… and if we do. If we do - he won’t want me. He’ll want you. So stop thinking of me as his.”

“I don’t know if I can do that, Daisy. I keep thinking about how maybe we can be a family. I can be the father to Bucky’s baby because he isn’t here. I do like you. I – I want you. But you’re pregnant to my best friend.”

“Then I need you to leave me alone. I can’t be whatever it is you want me to be. All I can think of right now is sex. If it’s not going to be you, I want to be able to find someone else. That’s not going to happen if everyone thinks you’re my boyfriend.” I stood up. “I’m sorry, Steve. That’s just how it has to be.”

I turned to leave and he grabbed my hand. “Please, don’t do this.” His heart was breaking, I could feel it like it was me. And it was. I didn’t want this, but I couldn’t keep actively hurting myself like I was.

“Steve. You’re hurting me. Is that what you want? To just have me living in the room across from you in pain?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then figure out what you want. If it’s not me, then let me go.” I pulled my hand free and left.

“Seriously?” Sam said as I came back into the common area.

“Yes. Seriously.”

“The dude is an idiot. I’ll talk to him.”

“You do that. I’m going to go buy a vibrator or something. I can’t take it anymore. He was sitting up next to me naked.” I groaned.

“That was  _way_ too much information, Daze.”

“Too much information would be what  _you_ just thought when I mentioned buying a vibrator. So choke on it.”

Sam laughed, and I headed out.

* * *

Natasha had agreed to go out with me because I had no idea what the hell I was doing. We had a really great time. I was fast thinking of Natasha as a big sister. It was what she wanted. She had this loyal protective streak that she wanted to hide from everyone else. The fact she knew she couldn’t hide it from me made her happy. Weird, I know. She kept thinking about all the things she could teach me about and of us going out on the town together.

We actually ended up spending most of the day shopping together. Neither of us had ever done that before. Not really. Her childhood had been even more fucked up than mine had been. Finding this normal thing we could share was kind of amazing really. It was nice to know I could even pass for normal.

We passed Stark on the way through and he made a flippant comment about us being trouble, all the while projecting pain and loneliness at us. I stopped and hugged him, he clung to me and I didn’t let go until he did. When he did he made a joke about how bad I wanted him. I let him have that. As I walked away I turned to him and he offered me a weak smile.

Natasha stopped at her room door and gave me a quick squeeze. “Thanks for asking me to come out with you. I had fun.”

“Thank you for coming, I wouldn’t have known what to get. I hope you and your friend have fun with those.” Her friend is Clint. Everyone knew it, we pretended we don’t. She winked at me and disappeared into her room.

When I got to mine, I flopped on my bed. I pulled out the new vibrator and shook it out of the box looking over the instructions while I sipped on my Starbucks coffee.

My door opened and Steve walked in. He saw the vibrator on my bed. I considered hiding it but changed my mind. If he was going to just walk into my bedroom without knocking, that was his problem.

“Oh god, I’m sorry.” He said backing towards the door.

“It’s just a vibrator, Steve. Considering the shit I’ve seen in your head, this is pretty tame. It’s not like I’m using it.” I sighed. “What do you want?”

“Is it so bad you would buy that?”

I put the vibe into my bedside table and beckoned him over. He came and sat on the bed next to me. “Steve, it’s literally all I can think about. You’ve been so great going out and getting me mashed potato and gravy from Popeyes and then stopping at the ShakeShack any time I have the urge. But other than my weird desire to mix carbs and chocolate, sex is the only thing I think about.” I paused for a moment. “Can I show you something? It’s pretty full-on.”

Steve looked at me with his eyes wide.

“Just in your head. Calm down.”

“Sure.”

“Lie down with me.” He reluctantly lay down on the bed, and I lay beside him facing him. I put my hand on his cheek. “This was something I saw in Bucky’s head once. It’s been playing in my head on repeat for the past month.”

I closed my eyes and projected the scene.

 _Bucky sits on the bed, his shirt off, he pulls me into his lap._  He _pushes my hair to one side and kisses along my neck. I’m wearing the only outfit I ever wore when I was in Hyd_ _r_ _a. White t-shirt, loose-fitting white pants with a string tie. I’m not pregnant in the fantasy. He palms my breast and beckons to Steve. I’ve altered Steve in the fantasy. When I saw it in Bucky’s mind it was little Steve. Skinny Steve. I’ve made him_ _the Steve I know because it’s my fantasy now._

_Steve walks over pulling his tight, light blue shirt off, displaying his firm chest for us. He leans in kissing me first. His kiss is fierce like he wants to claim me. His tongue battles with mine. Bucky raises his head from my neck, and Steve’s mouth moves to his. When he kisses Bucky it’s more tender. As they kiss, Steve’s hand travels down my side, and presses between my legs. The other hand he uses to grip Bucky behind the neck._

_They break their kiss and pull my shirt free. Steve helps me to my feet and Bucky pulls my pants down. I’m standing naked before them. Bucky’s hands caress my ass and he lifts me. Steve catches my legs, hooking them over his shoulders and his face pushes into my cunt. He’s lapping at my folds while I’m being held aloft. I let my head fall back onto_ _Bucky’s shoulder and_  he catches _my mouth with his._

_They move me to the bed, Steve continuing to lap at me. His fingers working in and out of my wetness. Bucky pulls Steve’s pants down, and then unzips his own fly, positioning himself behind Steve._

“Daisy! Stop!”

I opened my eyes. Steve was scowling at me. I have made myself so turned on I could feel my wetness through my jeans. I squirmed uncomfortably, my leg touched against Steve, and I could feel his erection up against me.

“You didn’t like it? I know you think of being with me like that. Of being with Bucky like that.” I asked.

“Daisy, those thoughts aren’t for you.” He snapped. He is clearly embarrassed.

I frowned. “You think I don’t know that? It’s not my fault I can see them.”

His face softened, he felt sorry for me. “I know. It has to be hard having people’s thoughts intrude on you all the time. And to add to that the life you’ve led. But you’ve got to stop using them against me.”

“I’m not using them against you. This is  _my_ fantasy I’m showing you. It was  _Bucky’s_  fantasy. It’s not my fault you’ve had the same one.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Daisy? Why would you show me that?”

“You wanted to know about my urges. Those are my urges, Steve. I want you to fuck me. I want us to be together. Or try for that. But really, I just want to have sex. I need somebody to or I’m going to lose my shit. I want that person to be you. I don’t know how much clearer I can make it.” I was almost yelling. I have never sworn at him. Not that he’s never heard me swear, but I’ve never directed it at him and it’s has shocked him.

“Okay! Okay!” He groans rolling over and sitting up. “Can I say a few things? Ask you some questions?”

“Sure.”

“You keep telling me how you know that I want Bucky and that he wants me. That you know we will be together if we ever find him again.”

“Uh-huh.”

“That doesn’t turn you off? That I like men the way I like women?”

“Why would it? As long as you like women, then it doesn’t affect me.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. In his head, I could see he’s always been afraid that people would reject him for those feelings. Ostracize him. “Why would you want to be my second choice?” He asked.

I rolled over and put my head in his lap. His hand went to my stomach and stroked over the small bump like he’s on autopilot.

“Being your second choice is better than being most men’s first choice. You’re a good man, Steven Rogers. I know you wouldn’t hurt me intentionally. When you can see into people’s heads, it makes you not like a lot of people. I like you. I also know you feel the same way as me.”

“Daisy, I’m confused about my feelings. I don’t know if the way I feel about you is because I love Bucky and he loved you. I don’t know if it’s because I keep thinking of how much I already love his baby and how I want to be in its life, and it’s made me start thinking of us as a family. I don’t know …”

“Steve,” I said cutting him off. “I know exactly every confused thought you’ve had go through your head. You think I don’t have similar concerns? I don’t know if I feel the way about you because I spent 20 years sharing the same dreams of you as Bucky did. Those are the feelings we have though. We either act on them and see what happens or you cut me loose. I can’t just be this idealized idea of Bucky’s love. I was never that anyway. I was a friend who was there when he woke up. I was the person who assured him his mind was his when all he had was that.”

“I don’t think I can just have sex with you. I need more than that. I would want to take you out first. I need to court you.”

I groaned. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me and I just want to punch him. God damned pregnancy hormones were going to kill me.

“That doesn’t help my current predicament much.”

He laughed. “I know. I’m sorry. Will the thing you bought today be enough until I’m ready?”

“I guess it will have to be.”


	5. Chapter 5

Dating Captain America wasn’t easy.  He was kind of a celebrity.  Not like a  _major_  celebrity.  He did get stopped a lot though.  Especially by kids.  He tried to go incognito places, but he was quite frankly, really shit at it.  It just drew more attention to him.  People would look over at him and go ‘where do I know that guy from’ and then think about it for ages before it came to them and they would come over and thank him for saving New York or whatever.

Dating Steve Rogers wasn’t so bad.  He was sweet.  I’d never had someone be really sweet to me.  I’d spent my whole life being treated like a thing.  A useful thing, but still a thing.   Even Bucky, who was nice to me, was not exactly what you’d call sweet.  He was often just scared and confused.   When he wasn’t he was just that little bit arrogant and cocksure, that he didn’t feel the need to be sweet exactly.  Not that I can blame him really, I was in his head.  You don’t exactly have filters on your thoughts.  That’s why most people can’t read them.

Steve liked to date the way they do on TV.  He’d wait for me in the lounge area of Avenger’s tower with flowers.  He’d take me out to dinner. Maybe a movie.  We’d take walks through Central Park.  Go for carriage rides.  He even took me to Coney Island.  We both felt sad that day, wishing Bucky was with us.  It brought us closer.  

Steve made me feel loved and wanted in a way I’d never felt before.  The others in the team liked to tease us.  It made Steve feel embarrassed.  Another reminder that he didn’t belong to this time. He was stuck in the past doing antiquated things.  I, however, couldn’t give a shit.  For starters, I wasn’t of any time.  I had been locked in a building with no contact with the outside world except what I gleaned of the minds of Hydra agents.  It was distorted and often bleak.  Seeing a world that was even passingly similar to the world Bucky dreamed of was familiar and comforting to me, and that’s exactly what Steve tried to do.  He tried to replicate how you dated back in the 1940s.  I also couldn’t care what the others said, I could hear their thoughts.  They could tease me for having a nice time all they wanted.  They were mostly just jealous.

Steve did not seem to want to have sex with me though.  I mean he did.  I could see he did.  I could see everything he wanted to do with me. That really just made it worse because he couldn’t get past the notion that you waited for sex.  I kept getting worried that the more pregnant I got the less he’d want me.  That’s what was happening in the heads of the others.  When I first met them, even Natasha would have the passing sexual thought about me.  It just got less and less over time.  Maybe that’s just what happens when you make friends.  I wouldn’t really know.  Clint was funny though.  Clint had a thing for pregnant women it seemed.  

Unlike the others though (Clint excluded), Steve’s desire for me just grew. Each time we held hands.   Each time we embraced.  Each time our lips touched.  I could see all the new ways in which he wanted me.  He never made his move though.  If I pressed it he brushed me off.  

It was two months before I could see in his head that it was going to happen.  He took me dancing.  That was new.  I could see it meant something to him.  I tried to enjoy it for him, but at six months pregnant, I was heavy and uncomfortable.  Neither of us actually knew how to dance either, and we were just awkward.  Stepping on each other’s toes, bumping into each other.  Steve started feeling really low like maybe he’d made a mistake thinking we could be a couple. Maybe he didn’t deserve anyone.  He started questioning why he hadn’t died in the ice.  Something he hadn’t done for months.  

A slow song started and I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a kiss, swaying gently with him to the tempo of the music.  He resisted, but slowly his mouth opened to me.  My tongue slipped into his mouth and grazed over his teeth.  I sucked on his bottom lip and danced my tongue over his top lip.  He gradually took over.  It was so unlike him.  His tongue battled with mine, his teeth grazed over my skin.  We kissed for the entire four minutes twenty-eight seconds the song took to play.  When we broke apart we were breathless and light-headed.  

“Can we go home, Steve?”  I asked, leaning against him.  

He nodded and we headed back to the tower.  

In the elevator up, we were all over each other.  His inhibitions were forgotten.  His hands roamed over my body, pulling my skirt up, gripping my ass.  When we reached the floor that had our bedrooms he glanced around quickly to see if we were alone and then started kissing me, moving me in the direction of his bedroom.  We started losing clothes along the way.  Our shirts were both off halfway to our destination, left lying strewn in the middle of the lounge.

We reached his door, he put his hand on the handle and I was suddenly overcome with a feeling of hopeless dread.  Of pure loneliness that had absolutely nothing to do with what was happening.

I pushed Steve away from me.  My eyes fell closed and I slid to the floor.  

“Oh god.”  I moaned.  Tears pricked my eyes, and it was all I could do to hold them back.

“Daisy, what is it?  I thought this was what you wanted.”  Steve said.  He was panicking.  I couldn’t do anything to help him.

“It’s Bucky.  I can feel him.”  I started sobbing.  I clutched at Steve and he lifted me, carrying me to the couch.

“Where is he?  Do you know?”  

I shook my head.  “He’s so alone, Steve.  We have to find him.”  

“Push back to him, Daisy.  Talk to him.”

I opened my mind, let the sadness take me over and I pushed.  It felt like I fell into him.  I was in a room, it was sparse and dilapidated.  There was a bare mattress in the corner.  Was that where he slept?  How could he be living like this?

 _BUCKY._  I pushed.  There was resistance.  He wasn’t only Bucky.  He was still battling for control of his own consciousness with the Winter Soldier.  There was confusion at the presence of a third.  

I felt the word 'Daisy?’ sent back, as a question.  Then 'GET OUT OF ME!’  

_BUCKY! PLEASE!  I NEED TO FIND YOU!  YOU’RE GOING TO BE A FATHER!_

There was confusion.  Fear.  A desire to come to me and then;  _'GET OUT!’_

It felt like I was falling.  Things went black for a minute.  I came to with Steve shaking me.

“Daisy! Wake up!”

I grabbed him wrapping my arms around him, squeezing myself as tight to him as I could.  “Oh god, Steve.  That was awful.  We have to find him.”  

“We will.”  He said softly, stroking my hair.  He pulled away from me, and took a handkerchief from his pocket, handing it to me.  I loved that he carried one.  He can’t even get sick, but he’s had the habit so drilled into him by his mother he just automatically put one in his pocket every day.  Those little things, that made him, him, always made me feel giddy.  “Your nose is bleeding.  Are you okay?”

I held the handkerchief to my nose and became acutely aware of how much the baby was kicking.  Bucky’s baby.  Did it do this?  I took Steve’s hand and held it to my stomach.  I let his feelings of contentment at feeling this child he has started to think of as his wash through me and into the still-developing mind of the life growing inside me. The baby calmed, and I looked to Steve.

“All I saw was his room.  I can’t believe he has to live like that.  When I put in the trigger commands that would release him when you said his name, he was supposed to go with you.  The fucking Soldier made him run.  The Soldier is scared of me.  He pushed me out.”  I shook my head.  My hands had started trembling.  

Steve put his hand around me and I relax back into him, my head resting in the crook of his arm.  I put my free hand on his thigh.  “Has anything like that ever happened to you before?”  He asked.

“No. Nothing even remotely similar.  If people are near me I always know what their surface thoughts are.  I’ll usually get their intrusive thoughts.  Intrusive thoughts are loud, which sucks because they’re also horrible.”  I explained.   “If I want more it doesn’t take much to get it.  Just have to focus on one person.  But I’ve been getting really good at blocking people out since moving here.  This was … I don’t even know what this was.   I’ve connected with Bucky’s mind so many times, I wonder if we just  _are_ connected now.  When we had sex, he was able to push a thought into my head. No one has ever been able to do that before.”

Mentioning having sex with Bucky made Steve uncomfortable.  He tensed up under me.  “You should try and develop that connection, Daisy.  It might help find him.”

I shuddered at the thought, but I knew he was right.  “Steve.  Bucky and I …”  I started to try and talk to him about how he felt about my relationship with Bucky.  How it shouldn’t change us.  I’m interrupted by the elevator door opening.  Sam stepped out and looked at us both startled.

“Guys! This is a shared space!”  He yelped.  “Daze?  Are you bleeding?”

I saw the image of Steve hitting me cross his mind.  

“I – something happened – my head …”  I stuttered, trying to shield my partial nudity behind Steve.

Steve took over, telling Sam about what happened.  Sam handed us both our shirts and we redressed as Steve spoke.  

“So what you’re saying is that Bucky just cock-blocked you?”  Sam said.

I burst out laughing.  Steve was both mortified and amused.  I wanted to hug Sam for lightening the mood like that.

“This is good though.  We can use this.  Maybe it will happen again.  For now, you two need to go do that.”  He waved his hands toward Steve’s bedroom.  “And not in here.  Because I recorded tonight’s game and I want to watch it.”  He flopped on to the couch and flicked on the TV.

Steve and I stood and I followed him towards his room.  He stopped and turned to me.  His hand went to my face and he ran his thumb down my cheek.

“Daisy, I – I think you should just go to your room.”  He whispered.  

Sam let out an exasperated groan.  

I nodded my head.  “Oh.  Okay.  Whatever you want.”  I turned to go to my room and he grabbed me by the arm.  I shook him off without looking back.  

That night I slept badly.  My dreams were full of Bucky Barnes.


	6. Chapter 6

Weeks passed. I started to be able to feel Bucky more and more often. I wasn’t able to push back into him again.  I was afraid to try too hard to be honest. That one time was scary. I had never just been in someone before. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to develop that side of my abilities.

It got to the point that I almost constantly had these feelings that were completely unrelated to what was happening around me. I was having trouble telling which were my feelings and which were his. I kept my mind open for him though. I wanted to find him. This was our best chance.

Steve pulled away from me after that night. He was having trouble being around me at all. The reminder of the connection I had with Bucky just pushed all the guilt he had over losing him, and falling for me to the surface. He was experiencing some pretty strong survivors guilt too. I didn’t know how to help him.

I started spending more and more time around Thor and Natasha. Thor because when I was him it was quiet, and he was kind. Natasha because she understood me. I needed that most of all.

It was late. Natasha, Clint, Thor and I had stayed up well after most of the others. They were drinking and being all melancholy and the baby was keeping me up. I had tried jogging around to put it to sleep, but it was restless. Bucky was up where ever he was, and I was getting a lot of fear from him today. I eventually gave up and lay down on the couch.

“The child still won’t calm?” Thor asked.

“Nope.” I sighed. “Guess I’m not sleeping tonight.”

“May I feel?” He asked. I nodded and he placed a hand on my stomach. “You need to rest little one.” He said to my belly.

“Daisy, can I ask you something personal?” Nat said she was a bit drunk and slurred her words a little.

“Sure. Given you don’t have secrets from me, that’s only fair.” I laughed.

She giggled. “Did you get pregnant the only time you’ve had sex?”

“No. I’d had sex before Bucky. Not exactly a fun late-night story though. I was around men a lot. They started thinking things like ‘I bet she’s fucking tight’ when I hit puberty. I didn’t know what that meant. So I asked one. He showed me.” I shrugged. They looked horrified. “Sorry. That was a downer. My life has been a bit of a shit show, but let’s face it, I’m not the only one in the building that’s true for.”

Clint gave a sarcastic laugh. “That’s true. What a fucking mess we all are. We’re the heroes. I wonder what the villains have all been through?” He got up and took Nat’s hand. “Want to go to bed?”

She got up and said goodnight to Thor and me, and they left the room together.

“It feels like the baby has finally stilled,” Thor said. “You should get some rest.”

I looked at him, wondering what he was thinking. It was strange not knowing. “Will you be okay?”

He laughed. “Of course. Go sleep.”

I went and got ready for bed, and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

 _They’d caught me. I struggled against them, but somehow they were stronger than I was. I don’t know how that could be possible._ _I was being strapped to a chair. How could this be happening again? I need to get out. I need to find Steve._ _Where is Daisy? I can feel her. Why isn’t she helping me? Daisy! Help me!_

 _I lash out. Something strikes me in the side. A_ _surge of electricity courses through my body. My cybernetic arm goes haywire. The pain it causes me is worse than anything I’ve felt before, including when I lost my arm in the first place. It’s like my arm is being torn off and taking my spine with it. I scream._

“Daisy! Wake up!” Steve yelled shaking me. Someone was screaming. Was it Bucky? Did they find him? I sat up and realized it was me.

I looked around my room, everyone was here. “What happened?” I asked my voice raw.

“Was that real?” Steve asked, “Was that happening?”

I blinked up at him and he shook me again.

“Cap, hands-off,” Tony said putting his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

Nat sat down on the bed beside me and put her hand on my forehead like she was checking me for a fever. As soon as she touched me, it was like I got yanked into reality. My head was pounding. It felt like my left arm had been flayed. I held it up to check it was still okay. Nat grabbed a handful of Kleenex from the box on my bedside table and pressed them to my face, tilting my head back. My nose must have been bleeding again. I could taste the blood in my mouth.

“Whatever you were just dreaming you projected it to all of us,” Nat said.

I felt the weight of the bed shift next to me. I glanced over and Steve had climbed on, kneeling beside me.

“Was it real, Daisy?” He asked.

I shook my head and started to cry. “I hope not. I don’t know. What good does it do to know? I don’t know where he is.” Steve wrapped his strong arms around me and held me to him. I sobbed against his chest.

“Okay everyone, crisis is put on hold. Let’s leave them alone.” Sam said and gestured to the door.

“Will you be okay?” Nat asked me. I nodded and everyone left the room leaving me alone with Steve.

Steve stroked my hair as I composed myself. “That was really scary, Daisy. Everyone saw what was happening.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” I sniffed.

He chuckled softly. “I know you didn’t. That’s part of why it was so scary. You’re much more powerful than you think you are.” He paused for a moment. “Was it just a dream or is that happening to him?”

“I don’t know. My arm hurts like it happened.” I closed my eyes and tried to focus on Bucky. I found him. He felt calm. That’s all. Just calm. “I think it was just a dream, Steve. I can feel him. He’s okay.”

He seemed to relax around me, and he kissed me on the crown of the head. “What happened?”

“I have no idea. Pregnancy dreams are dangerous if you’re telepathic? Maybe I linked in with a nightmare he was having.” I shook my head.

We sat like that for a little while. My nose seemed to clear and I threw the tissues into my wastebasket near my bed.

“I should go,” Steve said, but he made no move to let me go.

“Don’t.” I breathed.

He sighed and shifted so he was lying on his back. I shuffled down next to him and lay on my side facing the wall and pulled my comforter up over us both.

“Daisy …” Steve said.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I know. It’s confusing for you. I get it.” I was sick of hearing it, both out loud and in his head. I shut him out completely. It took more energy than I would have liked, but I couldn’t take it anymore.

He rolled over and draped his arm over me, his hand gliding down my body. It skimmed over my breast, I think unintentionally, sending a little jolt through me, and rested on the swell of my stomach. I shifted back so I was pressed against him, and he pushed his arm under my head so I was resting on his bicep.

He kept stroking his hand back and forth over my belly. The fabric of my sleep shirt pushed up and he trailed his fingers over my bare skin. It sent a little shiver through me and I wriggled against him. His groin was pressed against my ass and I felt his cock twitch.

“Steve. I want you to stay. I need you to hold me. Please. But touching me like that isn’t fair. You know how I feel. I’m sorry if holding me confuses you, but I’m scared. Can’t you just be here for me?”

I felt his breath hot against my neck, I turned my head towards him and he captured my mouth with his. It startled me. I can’t remember ever truly being startled before. We kissed, it was slow and deep. His hand went to my breast, kneading it, rolling his thumb over my nipple. I felt his cock hardened, pressed against my ass. I reached back, tugging at his hair. He broke our kiss with a growl and started nibbling down along my neck. I let my head fall back, my eyes closed.

I opened my mind again. I wanted to relax. I also wanted to see what he was thinking. Thoughts of me on all fours, him driving into me, of me on my knees sucking his cock, of him holding me up against the wall fucking me, filled my head.

I moaned, pushing into his hands. My cunt tingled and I could feel my wetness soaking through my panties. I put my hand on his as he stroked along my belly. Our fingers laced together and I moved his hand down, pushing his thick fingers under the waistband of my panties and between my folds. I worked my fingers with him, guiding him in circles over my clit. He started grinding against me and I let his hand go and reached behind me, slipping my hand into his pajama pants. I stroked his cock along its length using just my fingers and then took him in my hand, pumping up and down his shaft. He groaned and pushed his hips against me.

I pushed the image he had of me sucking his cock into his mind. Offering that to him. He pulled back from me, shaking his head like he was trying to clear it.

“Stay out of my head, Daisy.” He scolded.

“I’m sorry. I – I thought you might like – I’m sorry.” I stuttered.

“It’s okay. I know. Just please, let me have my thoughts.”

“Do you want me to do that? I can give you that.”

He made an angry growl sound and returned to kissing my neck. He pushed two fingers inside of me. I gasped arching into him.

Steve worked his fingers in and out of me as he rubbed his thumb over my clit. My core clenched as the beginning of an orgasm pooled within me. I somehow managed to wriggle out of my underwear. As I did Steve moaned and when they were free, he pulled his hand from my pussy, pushed his pants down and pressed his cock against my ass.

I tilted my hips back towards him and moved one leg forward. He took hold of my hips and shifted me so his cock was aligned with my cunt. Slowly he thrust back and forward, his cock sliding up and down my crevice. I whimpered reaching back to him, leaning my face towards his. His mouth met mine. As we kissed he pushed into me. I clenched around him and we both groaned into the kiss.

He thrust slowly. In and out. One hand moved to my clit and he rolled it under his fingers as he penetrated me. His other hand was at my breast, pinching my nipple, squeezing my flesh. We kissed, our tongues dancing together. I felt helpless, wrapped beside him. I was completely engulfed by his body. I couldn’t catch my breath, and I started making a helpless whimpering sound into our kiss. I clung to the back of his neck, gripping it tightly as his muscles strained against me.

I laced my fingers with his at my breast. My orgasm built, my core spasmed and I came. Every part of me tensed up. He released my mouth, and I cried out.

“Oh god, Steve.” I moaned.

He pulled out, rolled onto his back and then lifted me so I was straddling his waist. I took his cock in my hand and then lowered myself down on it. He put both his hands on my belly and held them there as I rocked against him.

“I’m sorry I took so long, Daisy.” He panted.

I shook my head, lent forward and kissed him. He moved a hand to my cheek and when I pulled away he stroked my jaw with his thumb.

“I want to be there for you. For the baby.” He said.

“I know.” I panted. “You will be.”

He gripped my hips and thrust upwards with a grunt. His body tensed, and he came. His cock pulsing into my core. Spilling inside of me.

I climbed off him and lay down beside him, my head on his firm chest. He ran his fingers through my hair and rested a hand on my belly.

“I’m going to take care of you both.” He said, he sounded angry. Frightened. I scanned him. He kept the thought of me and the baby so close to the thought of Bucky. He was afraid of losing us the way he had lost him.

“We’ll find him,” I said. I suddenly felt really tired. My fell eyes closed. “You’ll be together again.”


	7. Chapter 7

Steve and I just fell into being Steve and I. It was just who we were. I moved into his room. I’m not even sure when or how it happened. One day I just didn’t seem to have my own room anymore. It was being turned into the babies room.

Months passed, the others still hadn’t found the scepter. We still hadn’t found Bucky. Things felt low. We weren’t heroes. We could achieve nothing.

Bucky was with me all the time. I couldn’t figure out where he was though. I think he was just moving a lot. I’d catch glimpses of places that seemed familiar. We’d figure out where it was, go there and he’d be gone. I had started getting really good at scanning crowds for information I needed. I could search whole groups of people and find the ones who had seen him. Even if they weren’t consciously aware that they had.

The main Avenger’s team were out. I was back at base with Sam and Maria. Neither of whom was with me right now. I was trying to sleep. I did that a lot. I just felt exhausted all the time. This baby was crazy. It moved constantly and its kicks were getting painful.

I heard the Quinn jet arrive. I gave up on my nap and wandered out to go greet Steve and the others. I made it upstairs and there was a huge commotion. Clint had been injured. Doctor Cho was here to fix him. I didn’t even know when she’d arrived.

All of that was like it was happening somewhere else. Almost like it was behind a filter that muffled it out. I was drawn to the jet. There was something on the jet.

Thor walked down the ramp holding what I assume was the scepter in a box. That was what was calling me. It was like it had its own consciousness. I needed it.

I turned to Thor. I had to touch the scepter. Hold it to me. It wanted me to use it.

“Daisy!” Thor greeted me as he headed towards Tony and Bruce’s lab. I turned and followed him. “We had a glorious battle! I have found what I came for! Soon we shall all celebrate!”

I didn’t answer, just followed after him. Thor continued talking, but I’d tuned him out. He was mostly just regaling me with the tales of the fight, what happened to Clint, that kind of thing.

He dropped the scepter on a bench and moved to leave the room.

“Are you coming?” He asked me. I looked over to the glass room where Clint was being operated on.

“No,” I said. “I’ll just …” I shook my head trying to clear it.

“Worried for our friend? He fought a fine fight and will be healed in no time. But I understand your concern.” He clapped me on the shoulder and left me alone.

I turned back to the scepter and ran my fingers along the gold handle. It was the stone talking to me. It wanted me. It promised to help me do whatever I needed if I agreed to use it. I touched it. It was radiating cold. Whatever was calling me was housed inside of the glowing blue gem. I picked up the staff and opened my mind to it. I knew it wanted me to use it, but I didn’t know how.

“What are you doing with that, Sookie Stackhouse?” I heard Tony, but it sounded like he was far away. I turned to face him. “Daisy, give me the scepter.”

I blinked at him and my grip tightened on it. I pointed it at him. He held his hand up like he was trying to soothe a wild animal. “Daisy. Stop, please.” He sounded hurt. I could see he’s thinking about using his suit against me, the thought was eating him up.

“I can help you, Tony. I can see everything. I can free you from that pain you feel.” I heard my voice and it scared me a little. It was like it was coming in over a loudspeaker. Bruce entered the room. “I can heal you too. Fix your duality.” Those didn’t even sound like my words. I tried to let go of the scepter, but my hand wouldn’t open.

Tony took another step closer to me. I wanted to ask for his help, but I couldn’t. Someone grabbed me from behind and pulled my arms hard against my body. Tony snatched the scepter from my hand. I almost collapsed when it was taken from me. I felt light-headed and dizzy.

“What is that thing?” I asked. This time my voice sounded tiny and raw.

“We’re going to try and figure that out. Romanoff, get her out of here.” Tony said.

Natasha lead me out of the room and to the elevator. “What the hell just happened?” She asked.

“It called to me. It said it needed me.”

“The staff did?”

I nodded.

She scowled, thinking about how it had been used to control Clint. “You should stay away from it, Daisy. It’s not safe for you.”

I swallowed. My throat felt like I’d swallowed glass. “You’re telling me.”

She left me on my floor and went back to Clint. I went to find Steve. He was just stepping out of the shower when I came into our room.

“There you are.” He greeted me. The love and contentment he suddenly felt washed over me. “What have you been doing?”

“I went to see you when you got back. I got distracted by shiny things I guess.”

He laughed and kissed me, then crouched down in front of me. “And how are you doing in there?” He said speaking to my stomach. I ran my fingers through his wet hair. “Have you been letting mommy sleep at all today.”

I laughed. “Not one bit. Never sleeping again, I think.”

“You should try and get a rest in if you can.” He said getting back up and going to the dresser to find some clothes.

“I will. Are you okay? How did things go today? What happened to Clint?”

“Hydra had more enhanced soldiers. Clint got hurt trying to fight one of them. Doctor Cho is the best though, so don’t worry.” He said turning back to me. “We found the scepter. Thor will be returning to Asgard soon.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Good.”

He looked at me puzzled. “I thought you liked Thor.”

“I do. It’s just …” I groaned in frustration and pushed the memory of what just happened onto him.

He scowled at me. “It has a consciousness?”

“Yes, but it’s not quite finished. Like it needs something to house it to be whole.”

He rubbed his face in frustration and started getting dressed. I stepped up behind him as he pulled his shirt on and hugged him from behind, resting my hands on his chest. I slowly slid them down his body, as I pressed my head against his back. His breathing picked up slightly.

“Did you get hurt today?” I asked.

“Nothing that you need to be concerned about.”

My hands slid down into the waistband of his underwear, my fingers pressing along the line of his hip flexors. He hummed and linked his hands with mine guiding them to his cock. I danced my fingers along its length and he turned on me suddenly, taking my face in his hands and kissing me. He spun me so I was pressed against the dresser and pulled my dress up over my head. I unhooked my bra and tossed it aside.

He slid his hands down my throat, and over my chest, cupping my breasts and rolling his thumbs over the hard peaks of my nipples. They’d become quite sensitive as it had gotten closer and closer to my due date. Even the softest of touches would send shock waves through me. I moaned, leaning back against the dresser, clutching at the collar of his shirt.

Steve pressed his lip to my ear. “J'ai envie de toi.” He whispered. I shuddered. He wanted me. I only knew what he meant because I could see it in his head. The fact he chose to speak the words in French, like they meant more in that language, made me want him even more.

He circled his tongue over my earlobe as pinched my nipples between his thumbs and index fingers. I started whimpering at his touch, and he moved one hand down along my torso. He gently stroked over my belly, and into my panties. I was soaked. I wanted him so badly. He pressed one of his large fingers on my clit. I gasped thrusting into his hand.

“Et toi, Daisy? Do you want me?” He breathed.

I whined in response, squirming against him.

“Tell me. Tell me that you need me.”

“Yes, Steve. Oh god, I want you. I need you.”

He spun me around again, pushing me forward. I put my palm down on the dresser and he yanked my panties down. I felt his cock line up with my entrance and he pushed into me. I moaned, and my head dropped forward.

He linked his hands with mine. I moved my fingers against his and he closed them around my hands his tendons standing out against his skin. He thrust against me slowly and I squeezed against his cock. I felt his breath on my neck again. I leaned into his mouth, and his tongue trailed along my skin. He took my earlobe in his mouth again and a shudder ran through me.

“J'adore être à l'intérieur de toi.” Steve breathed.

“Oh fuck.” I groaned and tensed up, clenching against him. His hands traveled up my arms, as he rolled his hips against me, his cock hitting my g-spot.

“Tu me fais bander.” He growled his hand going to my throat.

I whimpered against him. My orgasm pooling inside me. “Steve. Please.” I wanted to open my mind to him. Feel what he felt. Have him feel me. Have us be as one. He didn’t like it when I went into his head like that.

“Okay, Daisy. Whatever you need.”

I opened up to him. I was overwhelmed by a deep desire that was fueled by an undercurrent of love. I could feel his cock inside me. Filling me. Pressing against my walls. Simultaneously I could feel what it was like for him to have me squeezing my internal muscles around his throbbing length. How the heat from my body affected him.

He grunted and his fingers squeezed around my throat. I could see how he wanted to be rougher than he was being. How he thought that was not okay.

“Say what you’re thinking, Steve.” I moaned.

“J'ai envie de te défoncer.” Steve growled.

“Do it, Steve. Please.” I panted. I was so close. We both were. It would take almost nothing for my orgasm break. The sharing of thoughts was intense and slightly overwhelming.

“The baby. I’m too strong. You’ll both get hurt.” Steve panted.

I reached back and gripped his neck, turning my face to his. We kissed out tongues clashing against each other. The power and intensity of his thrusts picked up. He was still holding back, but the sensation that we were both sharing was enough. We came as one. Me clenching around him, leaning back into his chest. Him emptying deep within me. I could feel his cock pulse both through him and within me.

He slipped out of me and turned me to face him. His hands went to my face and he kissed me deeply. When we broke apart I rested my head on his chest.

“We should go have a shower and go back to the others,” Steve said, running his hand through my hair.

“You just had a shower.”

He just cocked an eyebrow at me and dragged me into the bathroom.

* * *

The scepter kept calling to me. Tony had set the locks on the lab to keep me out, but I still kept finding myself there. Pressed against the glass looking in. Stark and Banner were up to something. Trying to make some kind of AI using what was in the scepter. I should have cared about that. I should have told Steve. It was like the scepter was stopping me from caring though. The stone wanted to be used. If it couldn’t have me, what they were doing with it would do.

On Saturday Tony had thrown a party. It was full of people. Ex-army vets, friends that the others had from their pre-Avengers days. I liked watching the others, but generally, I found it exhausting. Natasha kept giving me different virgin cocktails to try. They all tasted amazing, but it made me need to pee pretty much constantly. The number of people in the room, particularly as they got drunker and their egos went wild, were almost impossible to keep out of my head. It felt like I was being screamed at. There was something else too. I couldn’t figure it out. Something confused and violent. It was being drowned out by all the people though, I couldn’t focus on it and trying to hurt me. I ended up sitting curled up in one of the sofas occasionally nodding off to sleep while everything was happening around me.

It wasn’t until most of the guests had left that I could say I really started enjoying myself. Steve came and sat with me, letting me lean against him. He would play with my hair and slowly trace his lips over my throat, letting his breath send shivers through me. He wasn’t normally so into public displays of affection. Whatever Thor had given him had actually made him a little drunk. His inhibitions were lowered.

Thor joined us with Tony. The men talked about the glory of battle. I soaked in their good feelings towards each other. Natasha, Doctor Cho, and Maria showed up followed by Clint, Bruce, and Rhodey. Everyone was a little drunk and very relaxed. Not a state you saw them in often, and rarely all at once. It seeped into me, and even though I hadn’t been drinking I felt tipsy and fuzzy-headed.

Clint and Thor were talking about Mjölnir. Clint was adamant that the only reason why Thor could lift it was a trick.

“'Whosoever, be he worthy, shall have the power’, whatever man! It’s a trick!” Clint scoffed.

“Then please be my guest.” Thor laughed gesturing to the hammer.

Clint then rather smugly got up and tried to lift Mjölnir. He, of course, could not lift it, and it turned into a game. Tony was in particular determined to lift the hammer. He tried alone, with help from the suit, with the suit and Rhodie helping. Bruce had a turn teasing us all by pretending he was about to ‘Hulk out’ as Tony would say. When Steve had a go I swear it actually shifted a little. I wondered what it was about him that wasn’t worthy enough. After he laughed off his failed attempt he snuggled back down with me and I closed my eyes and let everyone’s happiness wash over me. They were teasing each other, laughing. We felt like family.

Thor lifted the hammer and flipped it in his hand. “You’re all not worthy.” He teased.

Everyone laughed, and as we did a loud screech of feedback came through the tower’s PA system.

There was a long low drawn-out sound of someone saying worthy. We all looked around and saw a very beaten up member of the Iron Legion. “No. How could you be worthy? You’re all killers.” It said.

Everyone got to their feet. I don’t know why, but I scanned it the way I would if a new person was introduced to me. I grabbed my head. There was consciousness, but probing it was like intentionally touching your finger to an open electric circuit.

“Stark?” Steve said.

“JARVIS?”

The thing kept talking. “Sorry. I was asleep … or … I was a dream.” Tony started trying to reboot the system as the thing spoke. “There was a terrible noise… And I was tangled in… in… strings… I had to kill the other guy… He was a good guy.”

Steve stepped in front of me and put his arm out protectively. “You killed someone?” He asked.

“Wouldn’t have been my first call. But, down in the real world, we’re faced with ugly choices.” The thing said.

Thor stepped toward it. “Who sent you?” He asked.

Tony’s voice then came out of the Iron Legion droid. “I see a suit of armor around the world.”

Bruce suddenly was hit with the revelation. They’d made this thing. “Ultron.” He said.

That’s what they were doing in there with the scepter. I felt guilty. I should have told someone.

“In the flesh. Or, no, not yet. Not this… chrysalis… But I’m ready. I’m on a mission.” Ultron said.

“What mission?” Natasha asked. Maria pulled her gun.

“Peace in our time.”

The iron legion burst through the wall flying towards us. Clint, Maria, and Natasha dropped to the ground and Steve kicked up a table, hitting some of the Legion. He pushed me to the side as Thor started taking out the robots with his hammer.

“Get to cover, Daisy,” Steve ordered pushing me towards an exit.

I ran, trying to get to the door. One of the Legion came for me, and Steve launched himself at it, punching it like you would a person and not a giant piece of steel and silica.

I ducked behind a counter for cover, waited for a moment and then dashed towards Doctor Cho. A robot collected me on the way through slamming me through one of the glass panels dividing the room from the lab. It raised its hands to me like it was going to hit me with an energy blast but it seemed to decide against it and flew off.

Pain seared through my body. I screamed, first arching back and then clutching my belly. I think the fight had ended. Or paused? I wasn’t sure. All I was sure of was the pain. There was a loud thud in the room above me.

I looked down and I was in a pool of inky black. I put my hand to it and raised it to my face. It wasn’t black. It was red.

“Steve!” I screamed.

He dropped out of the ceiling from above me, landing a few feet away.

“Steve. There’s something wrong.” I wailed, holding up my bloody hand.


	8. Chapter 8

I sat in a pool of blood. I was hurt, but much worse, the baby was hurt. Steve rushed to my side as the others made their way into the room.

“Daisy, you’re going to be okay. Cap, take her to the theater.” Tony said, immediately taking the role of leader. Steve picked me up, cradling me against his chest. “Helen, I know it’s not your field of expertise but you can see if you can help. I’ll call the specialists.” He pulled out his phone as Steve carried me upstairs.

Doctor Cho was close behind us. I was light-headed and things started feeling very far away.

“Steve. The baby.” I said, my voice barely a whisper.

“You’re both going to be fine,” Steve said. He didn’t believe it though. I could see the fear. He was already thinking that he’d lost us both.

He put me on the operating table and Doctor Cho came and started looking me over. She felt my belly and Steve helped her take off my pants so she could examine me properly.

“We’re going to have to do an emergency cesarean. I’m going to give you a general anesthetic to save time. She fitted me with an oxygen mask and then went to work administering an anesthetic. Bruce had arrived and started helping her. Nat and Clint hovered in the door like they wanted to help but didn’t know how. Things started going dark on me.

"Steve. I love you. Okay? I’m sorry this happened.” I said my head feeling heavy.

He held tight to my hand. “I love you, Daisy. Stay with me.”

 _All there was, was light. Slowly it faded, becoming a focused point in the darkness._ _I floated towards it and the universe opened up and I could see everything. All the galaxies_ _and nebula were laid out before me to explore. A_ yellow gem _floated in front of me and as I went to reach for it I heard a voice._

_“Daisy? Is this a dream?”_

_I turned to Bucky. He was wearing regular street clothes. Just a maroon long sleeve_ _Henley over jeans. He was standing in a dilapidated room again. This one was different from the last one I saw. I guess he was moving around. Or maybe this wasn’t real at all._

_“I don’t know what this is,” I said._

_Bucky approached me, he touched my face. I felt it. I felt the warmth of his skin in contrast to the cold of space around me._

_“What is that thing?” Bucky asked pointing at the stone._

_I shook my head. “Something too dangerous to exist but too powerful to destroy.”_

_I suddenly fell into his arms and he held me, stroking my hair. “Where are you, Bucky? I need you.”_

_“It’s better if you don’t know. They’ll just arrest me. I still don’t have control over the Soldier.”_

_“Steve can help you. I can help you.” I cried. “Bucky, please. We have a baby. Something happened.”_

_I paused the sudden realization of what happened. What is happening? “It died. I’m dying. This is what this is. I’m saying goodbye.”_

_“No, Daisy. Stay with us. I’ll tell you where I am.” He brought his mouth to mine, but I was being dragged away, dragged towards that light._

Slowly I opened my eyes. I felt numb and thirsty but the warmth of the sun felt welcoming on my skin. I smiled for a second glad that I was home. Then I remembered. The baby.

My hands flew to my stomach feeling only the softness of my own body. Not the firm baby bump I had become so used to. I felt a hand on my head and I sat up suddenly.

“Shh … Daisy. You’re okay. We were scared for a second. You died on us. But you’re here now.” Steve said. He sat down behind me and I leaned back on him. I didn’t know where the baby was.  I assumed gone. I felt numb. “Here. Someone wants to meet you.” I looked around to him and he was holding a small bundle. I reached out my hands and he put my baby in them. I started to cry.

“Jamie. This is your mommy.” Steve said, touching his large finger to the tiny face of the baby.

It was a boy. I had a son. “He’s okay?” I asked. James looked up at me with big blue eyes, and his hand started waving around in the air.

“He’s fine. You’re both fine.” Steve said kissing me on the temple. He put his finger out to James and James took it, put it into his mouth and started sucking on it.

“Is he hungry? What time is it? Has he eaten? I don’t know what to do.” I was freaking out. He wasn’t supposed to be here this early. He wasn’t due for 6 weeks.

“He might be hungry. Let me go get the doctor.” Steve said. He got up, leaving me to hold James by myself.

I looked him over. He had so much of his dad in him. The blue eyes, the crinkly forehead, and the dark hair. I kissed him on the cheek. He was so soft. It was freaking me out how when I went to sleep I was pregnant and now here this whole person was. How can you just make a whole person?

I looked into his mind. It was strange. Everything was new and scary and exciting. He was definitely hungry, but not so hungry that he was upset about it. All his thoughts were light and color and how they made him feel.

Steve came back into the room followed by my obstetrician, an older woman named Doctor Lang. “Hello, Daisy. How are you feeling?”

“Numb. Confused. Glad no one is dead.” I answered.

She laughed. “Yes. We are going to keep you on some strong painkillers for a little while. You did actually die for a little while last night. You’ve experienced a lot of trauma and lost a lot of blood.”

“Is Jamie okay?” I asked.

“James is perfect. Good job, mommy.” She said. “We think either whatever it is that gives you your abilities or the serum he’s inherited protected him from the trauma you suffered. He’s as perfect as a baby who was born full-term and under ideal conditions.”

I felt a wave of relief take hold. I had woken up sure he was dead. Now not only was he alive, he was healthy.

“He’s hungry. Can I feed him? I don’t know how.”

She shook her head. “For now you’re going to have to go with formula. Your body is going to be putting so much effort into healing itself that you won’t make milk. I would recommend trying though. It will keep reminding your body that you want to breastfeed.”

The doctor helped show me what to do. James latched on pretty easily but got frustrated quickly when nothing happened and started to cry. Steve left the room and reappeared not long after with a bottle, Tony, Clint, and Natasha.

He handed me the bottle and I offered it to James.

“I think we need to move you somewhere else. Would she be safe to move, doc?” Tony said.

I looked up at him startled and scanned his mind. He was worried about Ultron coming back. I was too vulnerable.

“I wouldn’t recommend it normally, but given the extenuating circumstances.” Doctor Lang said.  

Steve had sat down behind me and I was letting myself be supported by him as I fed James his bottle. “Where could we send her? Where could she possibly go that Ultron couldn’t find?” He asked.

Natasha looked at Clint and it was like they had a telepathic conversation, although I know that wasn’t true.

“I have somewhere that might work,” Clint said.

* * *

Maria flew me out to a farm in the middle of god-knows-where. We were greeted by a heavily pregnant woman and her stocky balding husband. Clint’s brother and sister-in-law. There were two children standing behind the screen door just aching to come out and see the jet. My doctor wheeled me out in a wheelchair while Maria went and spoke to Clint’s family.

I sat holding James to me. He was awake and alert and looking around. In the time it took to organize this thing and fly me here I’d worked out a way to communicate with him. I could tell exactly what he wanted from me. When he was tired. When he was hungry. When he wanted to look at me. When he wanted to see the world. When he wanted to see a person who wasn’t me. I could soothe him when he was fighting sleep by pressing calming thoughts onto him and I could distract him when the thing he wanted wasn’t available. I hadn’t heard him cry since that first time when he was hungry.

“Hi, Daisy. Clint has told me all about you.” Barney said approaching me.

“Hi, Barney. I know all about you too.” I hope that was an appropriate response. Clint hadn’t told me anything. At least not out loud. I knew all about her though, and how much Clint loved him and wanted to keep her safe from all the shit his life could bring her way. How he shared Clint’s sarcastic wit.

“Let’s get you inside.”

Barney and his wife Laura set me up in a guest room. I wasn’t supposed to get up for a few days, so they became my nurses. Not once did I hear a resentful thought. Only kindness and concern.

I slept with James in the bed with me. Laura and Barney’s two children would come in and take turns holding him. They’d bring him toys and sing him songs. He was smitten with them. They were so strange to him that he just wanted to stare at them all the time.

On the second day there I had to get up. Not ‘had to’ in the sense that I personally couldn’t keep still anymore. I would have slept forever if I could have. They made me.

I was walking around the outside of the house. James was sleeping inside. Laura called to me. It was scared and urgent, and my first thought was something had happened to James. My mind lashed out trying to grab onto everything in the nearby vicinity to find out what was wrong. The first thing I was aware of was the children. All of them were fine. James was still sleeping. The other’s were playing on the back porch. I even touched on the unborn babies mind. It was sleeping, dreaming of light and the sounds of its mother. The minds of the adults spoke to me next. Something was going on with the Avengers.

I hobbled inside to find Laura and Barney were watching the news and it was absolutely covered with news of the Hulk and Iron Man destroying Johannesburg.

“Where are the others?” Barney asked me. Like I’d somehow know. Completely desperate to find out if Clint was okay.

I sat down on one of the sofas. “I’m going to try something. I don’t know if it will work. If it does, it’s going to look really scary on this end. Maybe like I’m having a seizure, or even that I have died. So keep the kids out, and look after James for me.” I said.

Laura and Barney looked at me terrified.

I closed my eyes sending my mind out, sending it to people I am familiar with. It felt like I was drifting for a while. I found Steve and Natasha first, their bodies were safe but they were trapped in their own minds. Someone had locked them in a nightmare. There was nothing I could do to help them from here. I found Clint next. He was fine, currently trying to snap Natasha out of whatever had her trapped. I sent my self out further. I finally hit Tony.

_TONY, CAN YOU FEEL ME WITH YOU?_

“Daisy?” He said it out loud. Friday responded about me not being available.

_YES. GIVE ME CONTROL OF YOUR BODY. I CAN CALM HIM USING YOU._

_“_ I don’t know how,” Tony said. Banner hit him flinging him down the street. He was dazed and I used the opportunity to take control of his body. Slight mistake, I had no idea how to use the Iron Suit.

“Uh … FRIDAY right?” I said.

“Yes, Mr. Stark.” She responded.

“Not Mr. Stark. It’s Daisy.” I said. Trying to get to my feet.

“Daisy is in hiding.” She said.

“No, I’m here. I don’t know how to use the suit. Can you control it, get me in the air?” I said.

Hulk was bearing down on me, he started pummeling into the suit. Tony was going to be sore when I finally gave him his body back.

“Hey, big guy,” I said holding out my hand and pressing the words with my mind into Banner at the same time. He faltered. His eyes were wild and terrified, but he held his hand out. I touched his palm. “The sun’s getting real low.”

Hulk staggered off and started changing, turning back to him. I released my hold on Tony and fell.

I opened my eyes back on the farm. I felt really cold and I was lying on the floor. I blinked slowly and sat up.

“Did it work?” I asked. I wiped my face and my hand came back covered in blood.

“The Hulk changed back and Iron Man flew off with Banner’s body,” Barney answered.

I tried to pull myself to my feet but my head span and I fell back down. Laura handed me some paper towels and I held them to my face. “Good. Good.” I said. “Clint’s fine. They’ll probably come here. Not sure. They need to be somewhere safe.”

Laura sat down beside me and hugged me. She projected relief onto me that I somehow couldn’t quite bring myself to feel. Whoever had locked them into their own minds was dangerous. I was worried about what they could do to me.


	9. Chapter 9

I slept uneasily that night. My dreams were filled with Bucky and Tony. It was all pain and trauma. I couldn’t keep taking over people’s minds like that. I was bringing bits of them back with me.

The next day, I sat outside on the porch in a rocking chair and waited. I held James. After what I’d just done I didn’t want to put him down. I think he knew something was wrong and was projecting back the soothing thoughts I normally sent him. That can’t be right though can it? He was only three days old.

The Quinn Jet arrived, just like I knew it would, and landed in the woods just to the front of the house. I got up and unsteadily walked towards it. The others were heading towards me in single file. You could tell how broken they were just by looking at them. I didn’t even have to look into their minds. Their pain poured out of them and crashed down on top of me. Bruce in particular. He felt ruined. Like he had given up hope. He wanted to die but knew even that was hopeless.

Clint and Natasha passed me without a word. Nat offered me a sad smile and Clint patted me briefly on the shoulder.

Tony glared at me. “We’re going to need to talk.” He said as he passed me. I nodded.

Thor looked awful. I was glad I couldn’t hear his thoughts. As he walked passed I took his hand and he squeezed it and let go without breaking his stride.

Steve stopped and kissed me, taking James from my arms. He looked relieved to see me. He didn’t know I’d be here, and whatever that other person had done to him had made him forget that he had us at all. Bruce caught up to us because of the brief stop and I turned and hooked my arm with his, and we kind of supported each other as we headed back to the house.

“Thank you.” He said.

“I’m just glad it worked.”

He let out a hollow laugh. “Not half as much as I am.”

“What happened?”

He shook his head. That twin is like you, only she’s so much worse. She trapped us in our worst thoughts. For me, that’s setting of a time bomb.”

“Fuck,” I said, under my breath.

“I feel like our only chance is to have you there with us, but you’re in no condition to fight. So now what? We’re just doomed.” We were almost at the house now. Clint, Nat, and Tony were already inside. “Where are we?”

I laughed. “I think that’s for Clint to tell.”

We headed inside and Clint was already introducing Barney and Laura to everyone. I approached Steve and wrapped my arms around him. Tony was perplexed. He couldn’t quite get his head around Clint having a family he’d hidden from us.

The kids tore around the corner.

“Uncle Clint! Auntie Nat!” They cried slamming into Nat and Clint.

“Auntie Nat?” Tony asked. Steve smirked.

“Sorry for barging in,” Steve said.

“Yeah, we would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed.” Tony snarked.

“Yeah well, Fury helped me set this up,” Clint explained. “We had a rough start, people were after us.  I agreed to join SHIELD if Fury agreed to keep them safe.  We hid Barney’s identity. He kept them off SHIELD’s files and I’d like to keep it that way. I figured it was a good place to lay low. And as you can see, Daisy’s been hiding out here.”

Nat started talking to Laura as the men all shifted around awkwardly. Not quite knowing what to do with themselves. I took Jamie off Steve and went and sat down. Thor suddenly stormed out of the room and Steve followed. I heard the sound of Thor taking off, and then this incredible sadness isolation poured out of Steve so strongly I scrambled back to my feet and hobbled towards the door to find him. Tony grabbed me by the arm.

“You. Me. Talk. Now.” He snapped.

He dragged me into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, Tony,” I said, not looking him in the eye.

“You took over my body.” He snapped.

“I saw what was happening. I stopped it. Isn’t that what’s important?”

“You pushed me out of control of my own body! Do you even know what that feels like?”

I shook my head. “Probably doesn’t feel as bad as being crushed to death because the Hulk dropped part of a building on you.”

“Will you please look at me.” He snapped.

I looked up. He wasn’t projecting anger. He was projecting hurt. “I’m sorry, Tony. That other one has been in there too. I don’t think you’re even aware that happened. Did you have a weird vision at some point?”

He shook himself and I saw all of us floating in space dead. “I can probably get that out. I need to recharge more first.”

“Since when could you even do that? We were on the other side of the planet.”

I lowered my eyes again. “I don’t know. I just knew I had to try something. I’m sorry it was unpleasant for you. I stand by my decision.”

“You’re kind of scary, you know?” Tony said.

I laughed and looked back up at him. “Who me? I’m so small and non-threatening though. Look I’m holding a baby and everything.”

He hugged me and I awkwardly returned it. “That’s what makes it so scary.”

* * *

I found Steve in the yard. I was over-doing it with all this walking around. Especially still holding James. I started to feel week and pain radiated through my whole body. It was nothing compared to what Steve was feeling.

“Steve?” I said as I approached. He turned to me and smiled. He took James from me again, and put his arm around me, letting me lean my weight on him.

“What she did to you. It’s not you.” I said.

“Daisy. Please, my thoughts are mine. Why do you keep doing this to me?”

“I haven’t done anything, Steve. You’re pushing your hurt out so much that anyone with any empathy could feel it. I don’t know what you’re actually thinking.”

“Then how do you know it’s not me?”

I leaned up and kissed him. “Steve. I know you. This pain your feeling, you’re a good person and you don’t deserve that.”

He smiled sadly. “I just feel like what they have in that house, it’s been stolen from me. I had plans, Daisy.”

“Steve. Look at what is currently in your arms right now.”

He looked down at me and James. A smile crept over his face. It came reluctantly, but it did come. He leaned down and kissed the corner of my mouth.

“I’m going to pick that bitch out of your mind later, and you’re going to let me. Right now you need a shower and to sleep. I need that too. So, come on.”

* * *

I woke up and Steve was gone. James was stirring beside me. He was hungry, and he needed changing. I got up and took him to the changing table by the window. I could see Steve and Tony chopping wood. I started changing James half watching them out the window. Steve suddenly tore a log in two with his bare hands.

What’s it like to be around functional people I wonder?

I went downstairs and started preparing a bottle for James. Clint and Natasha came up behind me. Nat held out her arms and I handed James over.

“How are you holding up?” Clint asked.

“Better than you guys. I had your awesome sister-in-law looking after me.” I handed the bottle to Nat.

“I think we need you for this battle, Daisy,” Clint said.

“Yay! I’m gonna get killed because I can’t actually fight for shit. Particularly in my present condition.” I cheered and went behind Nat putting my hands on her head.

“What are you doing?” Nat asked.

I shook my head and closed my eyes. I could see where that little bitch had damaged Natasha’s psyche, what thoughts she’d trapped her in. I pulled it all apart and put things back how they belonged.

I opened my eyes and swayed slightly on my feet. “Better?” I asked.

“Much.” She said. “Though, I wish you hadn’t seen that.”

I shrugged and grabbed a paper towel. My nose was bleeding again. This time just a trickle, thank god. “Burden of the skill set I have, I’m afraid. None of you get secrets. Even you, Clint.” I winked at him and he blushed.

Tony came inside followed by Steve and a man I didn’t know. I looked at Steve confused.

“You must be the infamous Daisy Adams.” The man said. I scanned him quickly. Fury. This was Nick Fury. The one Bucky had been sent to kill.

“I am,” I said. “And you’re Nick Fury.”

“Very good, and what other tricks can you do?” Nick asked me.

Nat glared up at him. Nick was thinking about how he could use me. Not in a terrible weapon way, more like if I were trained I could join the others. Could I be a hero? Or was I a risk because of my Hydra start? Nat was worried he saw me as a weapon.

I pushed my thoughts at him.

_I CAN DO SO MANY THINGS. THINGS I DON’T EVEN KNOW YET. IT SCARES ME A LITTLE. BUT I AM NO THREAT TO YOU IF YOU ARE HERE AS A FRIEND._

“Very good.” Fury said. “Don’t worry. You have nothing to fear from me. What about the little one.”

“Jamie,” I said.

He walked over and hovered over Jamie. He was still feeding, but he’d slowed a lot and he looked up at Fury. He wasn’t worried at all. He just pushed his happy baby thoughts out of him.

“Does he seem to have any abilities,” Fury asked.

Natasha looked at me and shook her head very slightly.

“Not so far. He’s three days old.” Steve said stepping forward.

That night all of us ate together, and as the table was cleared, Fury filled everyone in.

“Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time. My contacts all say he’s building something. The amount of Vibranium he made off with … I don’t think it’s just one thing.” He said as he washed the dishes.

Steve stood leaning on the archway between the kitchen and the lounge room. He held James and rocked him as he fed him his night time bottle. I sat at the kitchen table with Nat as the other kids ran around the house bringing drawings to her. Bruce lent on one of the kitchen cabinets, as Clint played with his niece and nephew. Tony was playing darts, trying to pass off being nonchalant when this was eating him alive.

“What about Ultron himself?” Steve asked.

“He’s easy to track. He’s everywhere.” Fury said. “Guy’s multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit. Still doesn’t help us get an angle on any of his plans though.”

“Still going after launch codes?” Tony asked.

“Yes he is, but he’s not making any headway.” Fury said. He’d moved to cutting up some bread. This was all bizarrely domestic considering what danger we were all in.

“I cracked the pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare,” Tony said. His frustration was dripping from him.

“Yeah, well. I contacted our friends at the NEXUS about that.”

“NEXUS?” Steve asked.

“It’s the world Internet hub in Oslo,” Bruce explained. “Every byte of data flows through there. It has the fastest access on Earth”

“So what’d they say?” Clint asked cutting Bruce off.

“He’s fixated on the missiles. But the codes are constantly being changed.” Fury said.

“By whom?” Tony asked. Clint threw a dart that skimmed past Tony’s face startling him, before embedding itself in the bulls-eye.

“Parties unknown.” Fury said.

“We have an ally?” Natasha asked.

“Ultron’s got an enemy.” Fury said. “That’s not the same thing. Still, I’d pay folding money to know who it is.”

“Might need to visit Oslo,” Tony said. “Find our unknown.”

“Well, this is good times, boss. But I was kinda hoping when I saw you, you’d have more than that.” Natasha said. She was exhausted and frustrated. Clint came over and put his hands on her shoulders. She leaned back into him. I guess they’d given up on hiding themselves.

“I do.” Fury said. “I have you.”

Everyone in the room basically just rolled their eyes. I actually let out a small laugh at them. I quickly covered my mouth.

“Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere. Ears everywhere else. You kids had all the tech you could dream of. And here we all are back on Earth. With nothing but our wit, and our will to save the world.” Fury said. “Ultron says the Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. And whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this laid in a grave. So stand. Outwit the platinum bastard.”

Natasha smirked. “Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk.”

“You know what, Romanoff?” He teased.

“So what does he want?” Fury asked.

“To become better,” Steve answered. “Better than us. He keeps building bodies.”

“Person bodies,” Tony said. “The human form is inefficient biologically speaking, we’re outmoded. But he keeps going back to it.”

Bruce had walked over to Natasha and was looking at the painting of a butterfly Lila had painted. He was having thoughts about evolution and metamorphosis.

“When you two programmed him to protect the human race,” Nat said looking between Bruce and Tony. “You amazingly failed.”

“They don’t need to be protected,” Bruce said. “They need to evolve. Ultron’s going to evolve.”

“How?” Fury asked.

“Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?” Bruce asked.

“The Cradle,” Tony said.

“Exactly,” Bruce said. “He’s going to build himself a new body.”

“We could use you in this fight, Daisy. That Maximoff girl is a threat. You’re the only one equipped to deal with her.” Fury said turning to me.

Steve stepped over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, James had drifted off in his arms and was sleeping peacefully against his chest. “There is no way.”

“Then you may all be doomed.”

Steve went to speak, and I put my hand on his. “I don’t see how I can fight. I can barely even walk yet. I have stitches along the bottom of my abdomen. I lost like three pints of blood. Even if that wasn’t the case, I’m not combat trained. I don’t Hulk out like this guy.” I hooked my thumb back at Bruce. “I’m just a civilian who can read minds.”

“Read minds. Alter minds. Force your will on to others. You could incapacitate the fast one, and you could protect everyone else from the other one.” Fury said.

“Or I could get knocked the fuck out, and die and leave my son with neither of his biological parents.” I snapped.

“You could stay in the jet. You took over my body when I was in South Africa and you were on this farm.” Tony said. “You wouldn’t need to be in any danger.”

“No,” Steve said. “I won’t allow it. It’s too dangerous.”

“You’ve been trying to protect her for so long, Rogers,” Tony said. He spoke calmly and rationally. “Maybe it’s time you let her protect you.”

I felt like everyone was missing a massive piece of the puzzle here. “What about, James?” I asked.

“Maybe James could spend some time with his Uncle Nick?”


	10. Chapter 10

We all dressed and I said goodbye to James I reassured him with my mind he was safe and with people who would protect him as Fury took him from me. It felt like my heart was being torn out.

We flew to Korea. Natasha and Clint taking turns flying the jet while the rest of us waited. Even with the speed of the Quinn Jet, it was going to be five hours before we got there. I dozed in Steve’s arms, trying to block out the thoughts he had of me dying in the upcoming fight.

As we approached Korea he woke me up and spoke to me. He wasn’t my boyfriend Steve anymore. He was Captain America, my unit leader. I hated it. It made me think of Hydra. I didn’t want thoughts of Steve to be anywhere near thoughts of my time in Hydra.

“During the battle, you will stay here in the Jet with Clint. You will not leave for any reason other than the jet is incapacitated and you’re directly under attack. You will scan the crowd, find the cradle. You will do your best to take out the female, Wanda. If you can’t you will either protect our minds from her, or you will take out the mind of the male, Pietro. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I said. It came out shaky.

“Please stay safe, Daisy. I love you.” He said, softer this time. Not Captain America, but Steve Rogers my boyfriend.

“You stay safe too,” I said.

He kissed me, and we all waited in silence until we arrived in Korea.

We dropped Steve off at Helen Cho’s medical facility and he went inside to find Ultron. We waited in dead silence for his command.

I scanned the city, looking for people who were seeing things that might lead to Ultron. Trying to pinpoint the twins.

There was talking happening. Clint and Natasha talking with Steve. It was like it was static. All I cared about was the twins.

As I scanned I felt a weird alien mind from just below. I probed it and saw the destruction. The whole human race annihilated. It felt like the stone too. Calling me. Telling me to take it for myself and I could stop all of this.

“Ultron is directly below us,” I said. Even my own voice sounded far away to me. When Clint spoke to Steve it might as well have happened on another planet for all the notice I took.

I was pulled towards something stronger. I scanned everyone, each person one at a time but so quickly it was like data being passed through the Internet.

Our minds locked. She fought me. She was strong. I was stronger.

 _GET OUT OF ME!_ Her mind shrieked.

 _I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU HURT MY FRIEND_ _S_ _. TIME FOR YOU TO SLEEP._  I shot back.

_YOUR FRIENDS?_

_THE AVENGERS. WE WILL STOP YOU AND ULTRON._

_WE AREN’T WITH ULTRON ANYMORE._ She cried out. Her thoughts were terrified. I scanned them. She had seen the destruction too. She wanted no part of it.

 _YOU HELPED HIM. NOW HELP US STOP HIM._  I pushed.

There was turmoil in her mind. She didn’t know what to do. I pushed again. I knew I couldn’t force her to change her mind. She’s too powerful and she felt like that fucking stone. Still, I convinced her, mostly because she knew it was the right thing to do. I released her and collapsed back against my chair. I wiped my nose and my hand came back bloody. I needed to get something from the medkit but I was too tired and Clint was flying erratically. We were under attack. Somewhere along the line, Natasha left the jet.

I pinched my nose and tilted my head back. “Tell the others the twins are on our side,” I said.

“How can you know that?” Clint asked.

“Clint. Seriously?” I snapped. He passed the information on, and I closed my eyes. I felt weak. This was too much for me, and in the end, I wasn’t really even needed.

“The package is airborne. I have a clean shot.” Clint said.

“Negative. I am still in the truck.” Natasha shot back over comms.

“What are you doing …”

“Just be ready, I’m sending the package to you,” Natasha said, interrupting Clint.

“How do you want me to take it?” Clint asked.

“Eh, you might wish you hadn’t asked that,” Natasha replied.

Clint glanced back at me. “You still buckled in, D?” He asked.

“Yes. Try not to kill me.” I said.

Clint laughed. “I’m not making any promises.”

Steve’s voice crackled over the comms. “I lost him. He’s headed your way.”

“Nat, we gotta go,” Clint said.

The back of the Quinn Jet opened up and I saw Natasha come flying out of the back of the truck, riding the cradle. Just as it landed in the back of the Jet, Ultron appeared out of nowhere, grabbing Nat’s leg and dragging her away.

“Nat!” Clint and I yelled almost in unison.

“What happened?” Clint asked.

I jumped to my feet and staggered to the open cargo bay searching the sky. “Ultron took her,” I yelled back.

“Can you find her?” Clint asked.

I started securing the ark in place so it wouldn’t fly back out of the jet.

“Cap, have you seen Nat?” Clint said over comms. He was panicking. Not that I blamed him.

“If you have the package get it to Stark now.” Steve barked back.

“Do you have eyes on Nat?” Clint asked again.

“Go!” Steve yelled.

I sat back down, and Clint closed the hangar door.

“I’ll scan for her, Clint. I’ll scan for her.” I said buckling myself back in.

I saw him nod. His jaw set. I closed my eyes and scanned.

* * *

When we made it back to Avengers Tower Bruce was waiting for me with James. Nick had left him in Bruce’s care so he’d be there when I got back. I took him hugging him close to me and I left them to whatever shit they were going to do. I needed to not be near that stone.

I had felt Natasha, but she was unconscious, so I couldn’t quite pinpoint her. I told Clint she was alive. He didn’t take it as reassuring.

I lay down on my bed and curled myself around James. He placed his tiny little fingers on my face. Not really meaning too, just waving them around in that out of control way babies do when they don’t realize they have hands. When they touched me, calmness passed between us. He was happy I was back. I was happy to be with him. We fell asleep.

When I awoke it felt like I was being overwhelmed by the thoughts of the stone. I got up and sent my mind out. Steve was back. He had the twins with him. He was angry. I scrambled out of bed, picking up James who fussed at being disturbed. It felt like the elevator was going too slow. I was just off the floor with the lab, when there was an almighty crack. The elevator shuddered and came to a stop halfway between floors. I heard an explosion and I sent out a call for help with my mind. James started crying.

I tried budging the doors to the elevator open. Someone pulled them open from the other side and a purple hand was offered to me. I took it and when I did this new … person … and I spoke. Spoke isn’t quite the word. We exchanged ideas. He was good. Safe. He was the missing piece in all of this.

When he helped me out of the lift he floated back to the others, and I went and stood next to Steve.

“I’m sorry. That was odd.” He said. He turned to Thor. “Thank you.” His form changed. He added a cape. I smiled at the sweet bit of hero worship this blank slate just displayed.

“Thor, you helped create this?” Steve asked. He was panicked. He thought it was Ultron.

I put my hand on him.

“I’ve had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life and at its center is that.” Thor explained, pointing to the yellow stone embedded in the new life’s forehead. The same stone from the vision I’d had when I’d died.

“What the gem?” Bruce asked taking a step forward.

“It’s the Mind Stone. It’s one of the six infinity stones. The greatest power in the universe. Unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.” Thor explained.

As he spoke I approached the new life. He turned to face me and I reached up and touched the stone. He placed his hand on James and James stopped crying. I could see how the stone had been wanting so badly to be used, and that this was now the safest place for it. This being would protect it, and us with it. I let my hand drop.

Steve grabbed me and pulled me away. “Then why would you bring it here?” He snapped.

Thor interrupted him. “Stark is right,” Thor said.

Bruce sucked in his breath. “Oh, this is definitely the end times.”

“The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron,” Thor said.

“Not alone.” The new life added.

“Why does your vision sound like JARVIS?” Steve asked circling the new life. He was still so scared of it.

“We configured JARVIS’ MATRIX, to create something new,” Tony answered.

“I think I’ve had my fill of new,” Steve growled.

The new life turned to Steve. “You think I’m a child of Ultron?”

“You’re not?” Steve asked.

“I’m not Ultron. I’m not JARVIS. I am …” It paused. “I am.”

“Steve. He is safe. I felt him. He’s the answer. To all of this.” I said, putting my hand on Steve’s elbow.

Wanda approached the new life. “I looked in your head and saw annihilation.”

“Look again.” The new life said. I was surprised Wanda couldn’t already see. I could see everything. All the potential outcomes to what was being laid out before us. Her mind was much more strongly linked to that stone than mine. How did she not already see? I saw her scan him and relax. She accepted him as I did.

“Her seal of approval means jack to me.” Clint snapped.

“What about mine?” I asked.

Clint glared at me.

“Their powers. The horrors in our heads. Ultron himself, they all came from the Mind Stone and they’re nothing compared to what it can unleash.” Thor interjected. “But with it on our side …”

“Is it?” Steve interrupted. “Are you? On our side?”

There was a pause as the new life thought about its answer. “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Well, it better get real simple real soon.” Clint seethed.

“I’m on the side of life. Ultron isn’t.” He came over and placed his hand on James again. “He will end it all.”

“What’s he waiting for?” Tony asked as the new life drifted away from me again.

“You.” It answered.

“Where?” Bruce asked.

“Sokovia. He’s got Nat there too.” Clint answered.

“If we’re wrong about you … If you’re the monster Ultron made you to be …” Bruce said. He approached the new life like he was trying to threaten him with the Hulk.

“What would you do?” It asked. There was a long pause. “I don’t want to kill Ultron. He’s unique. And he’s in pain. But that pain will roll over the Earth. So he must be destroyed. Every form he’s built. Every trace of his presence on the Net. We have to act now. And not one of us can do it without the others.” It looked down at its hands. “Maybe I am a monster. I don’t think I’d know if I were one. I’m not what you are. And not what you intended. So there may be no way to make you trust me. But we need to go.” He reached down and lifted Mjölnir and offered it to Thor.

We all stared. No one was sure what to do. Thor took his hammer, dumbfounded as the new life walked away.

“Right,” Thor said. “Well done.” He patted Tony’s shoulder and followed his Vision.

Steve turned to the rest of us. “Three minutes. Get what you need.”

Everyone scattered to get what they needed. Steve turned to me. “You’re staying here.” He ordered.

“But …”

“No, buts. You’re staying here. We’re fighting robots. What do you think you will achieve being there? You’ll only distract me. You’re staying here and looking after our son.”

Our son. Not my son. Ours. I swallowed and nodded my head.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Come home to us.” I could feel tears prick my eyes. He took my cheek in his hand and kissed me. When he pulled away he leaned down and kissed James, running his palm over the top of his head. He took one last look at us and strode off.


	11. Chapter 11

I sat and waited, watching everything unfold on the news like the rest of the world. I saw Sokovia start to rise into the sky. I saw the people left on the ground fleeing in terror. People trapped in rubble. I wanted to reach out and touch all of them. Steve. Nat. All my friends. Even the twins who I didn’t know and didn’t fully trust. I was by myself though and worried if I did that I’d lose myself and James would be here alone.

I kept feeling Bucky. He was watching too. He was near coming back to me. He saw Steve and he was so positive that what was happening was the end. He felt terror for his friend. For himself. For me being alone. He wanted to be there and he wanted to find him. I let my fear radiate out of me. Trying to make it like a beacon to him but James picked up on it and started to cry, so I stopped.

The floating city was approached by a huge helicarrier. Like the ones that fell out of the sky when I finally freed myself from Hydra. When they had moved clear again the city dropped and exploded. It felt like my heart stopped and I sent my mind out almost against my will. I touched on Steve. He was alright. Exhausted. In pain. Alive.

* * *

Things changed. We moved from the tower in the city to a new compound in upstate New York. The members of the team who were seen more secondary members, like me and Rhodie and Sam were brought in full time. They all moved to the compound permanently. Wanda and the new life, who was now going by Vision were brought into the Avengers too.

Bruce had disappeared. I actually knew exactly where to find him. I told Steve I knew but that I didn’t want to say. He wanted to disappear. I was going to let him.

Tony left. He said he was done with ‘Avenging’. He was still financing the operation but he needed to physically step away from it. He’d still come and see us, but the visits became less and less as time passed. Each time I saw him he seemed more and more broken. I wanted to go into his mind and just delete the hurt. I could do that. I’m sure I could.

Thor left too. He was returning to Asgard worried about the vision he’d seen.

Wanda’s brother Pietro had been killed in Sokovia. She was broken by it. I tried to imagine what it would be like if Bucky had died with the connection we had. It made my heart hurt.

So I reached out to her. We had a horrible shared life experience that had almost resulted in the same outcome. We were taken by Hydra. Sure she chose that but it wasn’t really a choice made by anything other than desperation. We both had these abilities that were scarily similar. I couldn’t do the telekinetic thing but she wasn’t as strong a telepath as I was.

We became friends. It was slightly uneasy, to begin with. She was scared of me. Of what I was capable of doing to her mind. She didn’t like that I could see what she was thinking, even though she was able to do the same thing to others. She also didn’t like that I was easily able to keep her out of my head. I didn’t like how her telepathy felt. It felt like the stone. The stone still worried me despite the fact it was being kept safe in Vision. If I was totally honest, I was scared of her too. I could only read her if I applied massive effort to do so and she could hurt me. I knew it.

Still, it happened. We became friends. It was slow, but we were patient with each other. Soon we would have whole conversations without opening our mouths. Everyone hated it. We would be sitting there chatting away and we’d start laughing about something we shared and everyone would glare at us. It was even funnier if we weren’t in the same room. I’d be alone with Steve and he’d be telling me some boring thing that I probably should be listening too. I’d call out help to Wanda and she’d send the funniest mental image to me and I’d burst out laughing. Steve would always scold both of us like naughty children.

Speaking of children, James was developing very quickly. He was bigger than the average child of his age. Over a year passed in the compound. At one he could walk. He could build these complex structures out of blocks. He could communicate these complex ideas with me. What he didn’t do was make any sound. He only ever cried when hurt. It was like he had no desire to learn to speak. I’d just made it too easy for him to not have to.

Steve didn’t seem to notice James’ strange development. He was in love with that boy. James was still Bucky’s son in his head. In a way that made him more special in Steve’s mind. He wasn’t just Bucky’s son though, not just mine either. James was his son. He thought of him as all of ours. He’d also started thinking of what it would be like having Bucky back in his life. In  _our_  life. He had visions of the three of us teaching James to ride a bike.  Playing football out on the field that ran down the side of the facility. Of James in bed and the three of us just curled up together on the couch reading or watching TV, but all of us together. A family.

It made me desperate to find Bucky. I was now talking to him. Begging him to let us find him. Assuring him it would be okay. Sometimes he would listen. Sometimes the Soldier would hold me out. He was adamant that it wasn’t safe. I couldn’t seem to convince him otherwise. I realize the hypocrisy of my actions given that I was happy to let Bruce go live his own life, but I needed Bucky back. Steve needed him back.

I physically healed and started training my powers. It was hard because no one wanted me to use them on them. So instead I sent my mind out a lot. Touch on people far away. I think I was stretching myself. Those nosebleeds were becoming almost a daily occurrence. I’d also started actively keeping Steve’s mind silent. On days we spent totally together, I ended up with a headache so bad that it felt my skull had spilt open. I don’t know what was going on that using my abilities hurt me so much. I was a little scared to find out.

Steve became obsessed with training me for combat. He hated the idea of me not being able to physically defend myself. He would take me to the gym every day he was home and teach me self-defensive moves while Nat or Wanda watched James.

I was not a good student.

Steve would try so hard to teach me how to defend myself. I wasn’t getting it. I couldn’t get the moves he was trying to teach me anywhere near the realm of being right. I became less and less inclined to try. Which made Steve more and more frustrated with me.

One other problem I was having was working out with Steve. Him using his strength against me. How often he grabbed me from behind. It was a turn on. I kept getting easily distracted by how badly I just wanted to jump him.

“Daisy. You need to take this seriously.” Steve snapped at me. He held me, one arm around my shoulders the other around my midriff. I had wriggled against him and leaned my head back on his shoulder.

“Well, then stop being so sexy.” I purred, nuzzling against his neck.

He pushed me away from him and turned me to face him. “Do you think this is a joke? This is serious. I’m trying to keep you safe.”

“I do actually.” I took two steps back from him. “Try and take me, Steve. Go on. I’ll show you what I can do.”

Steve went to lunge at me and I shut down the part of his brain that controlled his gross motor function. He stood stock-still staring at me. Helpless.

“I’m not good at physical fighting. I don’t need to be.” I snapped at him and let him go. He fell to his knees.

I walked over to him and offered him my hand. He pulled me, flipping me over his head. He backward rolled so he was sitting straddling me, pinning my hands over my head.

“You can be surprised, Daisy. Your mental powers have their limitations.” He said staring down at me.

“I get surprised by you because I actively lock you out of my head. Most people don’t get that kind of consideration from me.” I said. This position wasn’t helping anything though. I ground my hips up into him.

“Your powers don’t seem to work on Alien life. They definitely don’t work against machines. You need to learn this.” He reasoned with me.

“I’m not good at this. I’m never going to be good at this. Even if I get reasonable at this, do you think I’m ever going to be physically strong enough to fight one of the iron legion? Because I don’t. I’m not you, Steve.”

He leaned in close to me, his lips close to mine, staring deep in my eyes. “You like it though. Don’t you, Daisy? You like training with me.”

I swallowed and licked my lips, wriggling against him. “Yes.”

“If you can pin me, you can have what you want.” He purred.

“But what I want is for you to take me,” I whined.

“You think once you pin me, I can’t then  _pin_ you?” He growled.

Fuck. I loved when he got like this. This was special. Something just for me. He got to his feet and pulled me up.

We stepped apart and he put himself into a fighting stance.

“Amène toi voir.” He said gesturing for me to attack.

So we sparred. He took it easy on me, but I found no openings. He pinned me over and over. Each time he did, he’d add something sexual to the move. He’d kiss my throat, or press his fingers into my crotch.

“It’s never going to happen, Steve.” I cried. I was frustrated and felt close to tears.

He put his hands on my shoulders. “Put your hands on my shoulders between mine.” He instructed. I did as I was told. “Now turn away from me, but pull me with you.” I followed his instructions and he allowed himself to be moved. “Now use your hip to throw me over.”

“I can’t. You’re too big.” I whined.

“Yes, you can. Start over and we’ll do it in one smooth motion.”

We started over. His hands on my shoulders, mine on his. I moved. He let me, but I managed to flip him, he ended up on the floor and I jumped on him straddling his waist.

“You’re pinned.” I laughed.

“I am.” He agreed.

He raised his hand and ran his fingers down the side of my face pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

“No, Steve.” I grinned.

“Really?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“You promised.”

He grabbed me under the arms and tossed me, so I somersaulted over his head. I rolled and started scrambling away from him, but he grabbed me by the ankle dragging me back towards him. I squealed and kicked my legs, clawing at the mat.

He crawled up over me pressing his body into mine. “Where do you think you’re going?” He growled.

I whimpered and he pressed his lips to my neck. His tongue swirled over my skin. I struggled again. He moved so he was on his knees. He grabbed both my hands and pulled them behind my back and held them, pushing me down in the middle of my back with one hand while the other slid down my spine.

He pushed my legs apart and he began to stroke me up and down my pussy through the fabric of my yoga pants.  “This is what you want isn’t it, Daisy?” He growled.

“Yes. Please, Steve.” I pleaded.

He yanked my pants down and pushed his fingers into my cunt. “You need to learn this, Daisy. Do you understand that? I can’t always be here to fight for you. To protect Jamie.”

I wriggled under him. He was working his fingers roughly inside of me. “Can we talk about it after?” I panted.

He let my hands go and I pulled away from him rolling over and stripping off my clothes. He stood up, pulled his shirt off and dropped his pants, stalking towards me.

“Get on your knees.” He ordered.

I complied and he came towards me stroking his cock. I bit my lip, watching him. Soaking up his perfectly chiseled form.

“Open your mouth.” He growled.

I did and he ran the head of his cock over my lips. I poked the point of my tongue out tasting him. He pushed into my mouth and I rolled my tongue along his length. He grabbed my hair and yanked my head back, forcing my mouth open and my throat to straighten out. He began to thrust in and out of my mouth. Slowly, methodically. All the while he scowled down at me. I hummed deep in the back of my throat and he picked up speed. My eyes watered, and I started to struggle. He pulled back and I fell on my hands and knees panting.

“Is this still what you want?” Steve asked.

“Yes.” I panted.

He moved behind me and kicked my legs apart and knelt down between them. He slid one hand up my back and then pushed me so my face was pressed into the mat. I felt his cock press against me. He lined himself at the entrance to my cunt and slammed into me. I cried out and he pulled back and slammed into me again. I tried bracing myself on the mat, but he grabbed my hands and pulled them back behind me.

“Yes, Steve. Let go!” I cried.

He could never let go properly. Not with me. All the same, he picked up both speed and power with every thrust. I came apart under him. I clenched and moaned and writhed. An orgasm built within me, spreading out from my cunt like liquid fire and pooling in my core. It wouldn’t quite break and I started pleading with Steve. Begging him for release.

He pulled out and flipped me over, suddenly changing tactics completely. He cradled my head with one arm and slipped back into me. He rolled his fingers against my clit as he rocked his hips against me. Rolling them so his cock stretched me and hit all my pleasure centers.

His mouth met mine and we kissed hungrily. We battled for control, licking and nipping at each other. When he pulled away I chased him, not wanting the kiss to end. He looked down at me. His brow was furrowed but his eyes were soft.

“I want to watch you come, Daisy. You’re so beautiful when you do.” He purred.

It was like he’d just spoken some kind of command phrase. My orgasm broke and crashed through me. I clung to him as my back arched off the mat. He smiled and his face set. As the last quakes of my orgasm ebbed through me he came with a grunt.

He kissed me again and slipped out of me. Straight away moving to get redressed.

“Will you please take this more seriously from now on?” He asked, throwing me my underwear.

“I’ll try. I just … I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough.”

“I’m just terrified of losing you, Daisy. Everyone I’ve ever loved I’ve lost. I keep thinking that that’s how it’s supposed to be. That I’m supposed to be alone.”

I crawled up behind him and rested my head on his back. “You should see someone, Steve. I’m not planning on going anywhere. But  _this_  isn’t going to save me if it’s my time. I’ll listen to your fears as much as you need me too, but I’m still learning how to … person? I can’t even think of a way to say that properly. I don’t know what people do when they aren’t weapons.”

He sighed. “You’re doing fine. Thank you for listening.”

“Always, Steve.”


	12. Chapter 12

Time moved on as it usually does.  I found out I was pregnant again. Steve and I had not been particularly careful because, after James’ violent introduction into the world, I’d been told I probably couldn’t have any more children.  I didn’t know how to tell Steve. He was so good with James, but he was still so reckless all the time and his thoughts were rarely about being a family unless they involved Bucky.  So I kept it to myself.  Wanda scolded me constantly for it.  She told me she was going to tell him if I didn’t soon.  I knew she wouldn’t.

I was slowly working myself up to telling him when the news broke that Rumlow had escaped from prison and was basically just going on a rampage under the name Crossbones.  I became obsessed with just that. Rumlow had taken part of me when I was in Hydra.  He couldn’t just get away with it like that.  

We had finally received intelligence about a target Rumlow was planning to hit and Steve had called us together to plan an attack.  We sat around the briefing table.  Everyone else was relaxed and in that boring meeting mode, people fall into when they just want to get on with things.  I, however, was buzzing.  I sat bolt upright, fixed on Steve.

“I’d like to take Sam, Natasha, Vision, and Wanda.  It should be a relatively straightforward extraction.”  Steve said.  “Any objections.”

“I want to go,”  I said.

“You know that’s not practical,”  Steve interjected.  “Until James is able to be left with other people …”

“So what am I here for?  Why even bring me into these briefings?  He’s one.  He can be left with other people.”  I yelled.  I needed to go on this mission.  I needed to get back at Rumlow for what he did to me.

“Perhaps she has a point, Captain Rogers?  It may be the perfect opportunity for Miss Adams to test her abilities in the field.  I could always stay here with the child.  He responds to me.”  Vision suggested.

“You are a fighter, she is not,”  Steve said.  “The team stands as is. We leave in an hour.  Suit up.”  

He got up and headed for the door.  I chased after him.

“You have to stop trying to protect me from this world we’re part of,” I said jogging along behind him to keep up with him.

“I’m quite confident that’s not true,”  Steve said.

“Am I an Avenger or not?”  I asked.

“Not.”

I grabbed his arm.  He stopped and turned to face me.  “Then why am I here?”

He cupped my jaw with his hand, stroking his thumb along my cheek. “Because I love you, and it’s the safest place for you to be.”

“I’m not helpless,”  I said.

“But our son is.”  

I pulled away from him.  Fucking Steve, throwing out the ‘our son’ to try and manipulate me into staying.  “So you stay with him and I’ll go.”

His hand went to my back and he ran it down my spine.  “I don’t understand why this is such a big deal to you.”

I turned and opened my mouth to tell him, but I couldn’t do it.  I didn’t want him to know about my history with Rumlow.  How Rumlow had started having sex with me while I was still too young and ill-informed to know better.  I didn’t want him to look at me differently.  “I can make you change your mind you know?”

“Daisy.” He scolded.  “I know you won’t do that.”

“Then let me come.”  I was whining like a petulant child and I hated myself for it.

“Why do you want this so badly?  You’ve never cared about going on a mission before.”

I started walking away from him.  This wasn’t going to end well.

“Daisy.” He called and this time he jogged to keep up with me.  “Convince me.”

I kept walking in the direction of our quarters.  “Back in Hydra, I knew him.  He did things to me.”

Steve caught my arm and I tried to shake him off.  He didn’t let me and I spun around to face him.  “What kind of things?”

“Please don’t make me say it,”  I said looking at my feet.

“Daisy.” He said my name softly.  Like it was a plea.  As if by saying it, I would suddenly not have had to live through the things I did.  Or that I’d tell him everything and he’d magically be able to fix it.

I tried to pull my arm away from him again but he held me in place and just stared at me.  “Let me go!  I need to go check on James.”

“No, you don’t.  I know you’re always connected to him.  So talk to me.”

“I was a child.”  I cried.  “I was a kid, Steve.  Please, I need to come.  I can’t let him get away with what he did to me.”

Steve’s face turned dark.  “Tell Vision I’m switching you out.”

* * *

I stood on the rooftops of Lagos with Sam.  I was scanning the crowd for anyone who may have seen Rumlow and not known about it.  There were a few, but they were old memories.  A good sign that he’d been here to stake things out but not helpful for right now.

Steve’s voice came through the comms.  He was using this mission as a teaching tool.  “Alright what do you see?”  He wanted to see how much Wanda had learned.  He wanted me to learn from her.

“Standard beat cops.  Small station.  Quiet street.  It’s a good target.” Wanda replied.

“There’s an ATM on the South corner which means?”  Steve asked.

“Cameras,” Wanda answered.

“Both cross streets are one way?”

“So compromised escape routes.”

“Means our guy doesn’t care about being seen.  He’s not afraid to make a mess on the way out.”   Steve paused for a second.  “Daisy?”

“No one has seen him today but he’s definitely been here,”  I answered.

“You see that range rover halfway up the block?”  Steve asked.

“Yeah, the red one?  It’s cute.”  Wanda replied.  She sounded cocky.  She knew how powerful she was.  She thought she was invincible.  

“It’s also bulletproof,”  Natasha added.  “Which means private security.  Which means more guns.  Which means more headaches for somebody.  Probably us.”

“You guys know I can move things with my mind right?”  Wanda teased.

“Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature.”  Nat scolded.

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re a little paranoid?”  Sam teased.

“Not to my face.  Why?  Did you hear something?”  Nat returned.

“Eyes on target folks,”  Steve said sternly.  I smiled at him entering dad mode on us.  “This is the best lead we’ve had on Rumlow in six months, and I don’t want to lose him.”

Sam laughed, peering over the roof.  “If he sees us coming that won’t be a problem.  He kinda hates us.”

“Sam, Daisy, see that garbage truck?  Tag it.”  Steve said.

Sam let his robotic bird out to scan the truck while I focused on the driver.  The driver didn’t speak English, so shuffling through his thoughts took a little effort.  I had to sort pictures together and work out what they meant exactly.  

“He’s heading to the Center for Infectious Disease,”  I said.

“Yeah, that trucks loaded for max weight,”  Sam added.  “And the driver’s armed.”

“It’s a battering ram.” Natasha yelped.

“Go now!”  Steve ordered.

Everyone jumped into action.  This was the bit I was a little useless for.  I abseiled off the side of the building as Sam flew off in the direction of Steve.  

I met with Natasha and was sat on her motorcycle as we waited for orders.

Steve’s voice came over comms.  “Body armor, AR-15s.  I make seven hostiles.”

Sam then started counting them down.

After a little while, we saw a huge cloud of gas billowing up into the sky, glittering with the telltale sign of Wanda’s magic.  

After a few more beats Steve’s voice crackled through comms. “Rumlow has a biological weapon.”

“I’m on it,”  Nat said bursting into action.

As we headed in through the gates of the facility I jumped clear of the bike.  I hit the ground awkwardly.  Damn it.  I needed to listen to Steve more.  I clambered to my feet, as a couple of Rumlow’s men came at me.  I was dazed from the fall, but I managed to shut down their minds.  They fell to the ground unconscious.  I staggered towards the truck where Natasha was much more effectively taking out Rumlow’s men.

I saw Rumlow throw her into a truck and I went to touch his mind to stop him.  Take him out.  The familiarity of it.  The depth of hate. The remainder of my old life.  It froze me.  I just stood.  Unable to act.  Completely repulsed.  

Rumlow climbed into a truck and as it drove away he started firing on Steve. I saw Steve fall from the window and I ran to him.

“Sam. He’s in an AMV heading north.”  He said through comms.  “What just happened with you?  Why didn’t you take him out?”  He said taking my arm and running in the direction of Nat.

“I froze.  I’m sorry.”

“I knew this was a mistake.”

Shit. Fucking shit.

He pushed me towards Nat and we both climbed onto the bike again and she sped off in the direction of Rumlow and his men.  

“I’ve got four and they’re splitting up,”  Sam said.

Nat pulled the bike into a crowded market.  “I’ve got the two on the left.”  She said as she dismounted.

I looked around.  There were so many people here.  All of them in danger.  This was how I could fix this.  I closed my eyes and sent my mind out to all of them.  I touched each one, one at a time and when I felt like everyone in the square who were just there to shop, or socialize, or run their business, was connected to me I took hold. I had become a hive mind.  Pushing this group of people out of the square, as far away as possible.  The moved slowly like zombies, but they moved.   I moved them.  

There were explosions and the fight was sending people flying through structures.  I didn’t pay any attention to that.  That was all happening far away.   I just moved the people out.  

There was a huge explosion.  It broke my connection with everyone.  I looked around.  The square was empty except for a few unconscious people, Steve and Wanda.  The building in front of them had a hole in the side and was burning.  I could feel the pain from injured people inside.  Wanda looked devastated.  I staggered towards them.  My face felt wet.  I looked down at the ground, blood ran from my face and pooled on the ground.  I left a trail of it as I walked.  

“What happened?”  I asked.

Steve turned to me.  His face went white.  Everything went black.

* * *

I woke on the Quinn Jet feeling light-headed.  I had my head resting on Steve’s lap and he held a cold compress on my head.  Wanda was crying.  I went to talk to her using my mind but it was like I’d stepped in front of speakers with an active microphone.  I clutched my head at the loud shriek that filled it.  Steve looked down at me.

“Taking you was a mistake.”  He said.

I looked away from him.  

He turned my head back to face him.  “You’re going to have a brain scan when we get back.  These nosebleeds are getting worse.”  

“Stop talking to me like that,”  I whispered.

“You wanted to be on the team.  On the team, I’m your commanding officer. This is how commanding officers talk to their subordinates.”

I sat up and curled my legs to my chest.  “I saved those people.”

“You nearly got me killed and yourself.”  He snapped at me.  

“Steve, that’s enough,”  Nat interjected.

“Nat, she …”

“She did fine.  Nothing that happened today was anyone’s fault except Rumlow’s.  Least of all Daisy’s.  She cleared the plaza of everyone. I get you are scared about something happening to her.  Treating her like this isn’t helping anyone.”

When the jet had landed, I jumped up and dashed into the compound.  Vision had come to meet us holding James’ hand.  He looked so comical wearing a v-neck sweater with Jamie’s hand clasped in his.  In normal circumstances, I would have stopped and taken time to really soak it in.  I just took James offering Vision a quiet thank you and hurried to the room I shared with Steve.

I collapsed on the bed.  James sat next to me looking at me.  I felt his concern for me and tears started leaking from my eyes.  James put his hands over my face and I suddenly felt really calm.  

“Did you just do that?”  I asked pushing his hands away from me.

He looked at me and I knew that he had.  

The door opened and Steve entered.  James stood and held his arms up to Steve pushing the desire to be picked up.  Steve came and lifted him.

“I’m sorry, Daisy.  I got scared when you collapsed.  You need to stop pushing your abilities like that.  I think they’re hurting you.”

“You were right though.  I shouldn’t have gone.”  

I felt the bed shift as he sat down next to me.  He rested his hand on my ass.  “You saved a lot of people.  I’m glad you did.”  I rolled over to face him and he ran his fingers down my cheek. “You’re still covered in blood.  You should take a shower.”  

“You can talk.”  

“You have one first and I’ll watch Jamie,”  Steve suggested.

“What about Vision watches Jamie and we have one together?”

* * *

I was under the water rinsing the caked off blood from my face when Steve entered the bathroom.  I turned to him and watched him undress. He had bruises up the left side of his ribs and the right side of his abs.  There was a large one on his back over his left shoulder that stretched down and across his spine.

When he stepped into the water I trailed my fingers over his ribs.  “You worry so much about me getting hurt and look at this,”  I said.

His hands went to my face.  “Those will all heal.”

“You’re pretty reckless, Steve,”  I said trailing my fingers down his chest.  “I know you think you have nothing to live for.  Maybe you should look a little harder.”

He looked at me sadly for a moment.   I wanted to read him.  See what he was thinking.  I’d promised I’d stop doing that.  So I let him keep his privacy.  I guess I was learning to people after all.  I nearly told him about being pregnant too.  The words were on the tip of my tongue.  His reason to live.  I couldn’t do it though.  Not after what had just happened.  We’d just end up fighting.

He pulled me up into a kiss and I wrapped my arms around his neck.  He moved his hands to my back and then slid them down to my ass.  His fingers gripped my flesh briefly before he turned me and guided me towards the wall.  He stood me under the showerhead, placing my hands on the shower wall above my head.  He shifted my legs apart and engulfed me from behind.  His hands roamed my body, traveling from my throat to my breasts, down my back, and between my legs.  He stroked his fingers up and down my folds, pressing down on my clit before releasing and swiping back down again.  

I felt his lips against my back followed by his tongue as he lapped stripes up my spine, collecting the water that rolled down my skin. His teeth grazed over the back of my neck and I let out a soft moan.

I let my hands fall from the wall and pressed myself up against him. His erection pushed against my ass and he wrapped his arms around me. One hand gripping my breast the other he returned to my cunt.  He pushed two fingers deep inside of me, curling them and pressing against my internal walls.  He rolled his thumb against my clit and pinched my nipple.  

I moaned loudly and ground into his hand as he sucked on my earlobe. Heat pooled in me, making my skin prickle.  My muscles clenched and I reached behind me and began stroking his cock, pressing it against my ass and running my hand up and down.

He turned me again and lifted me like I weighed nothing.  He pressed me against the wall and entered me. I gasped and wrapped myself around him, pulling him tightly against me.  

“I love you, Steve.  I love when you’re inside of me.”  I purred, nuzzling against his neck.  

He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back.  I opened my mouth letting the water from the shower pool and spillover my lips.  He bit my throat as he thrust into me.  It sent jolts through me.  My orgasm crested.  I dug my nails into Steve’s back, clinging on for dear life.  He picked up the force of his thrusts and I came.  My whole body clenching around him.  

“Fuck! Steve!”  I cried out.  

He grunted and thrust hard into me.  I felt him spill inside of me, and his whole body seemed to suddenly relax.  His mouth met mine again and we kissed slowly as he let me down.  

“I love you too, Daisy.  I’ll try and be less reckless.  You’re right. I still feel so constantly on the outside.”  He said.   It made my heartbreak for him.

“I know.  I feel the same way.  It’s like I’ve never had anyone.  I kind of had Bucky, but not really.  Now I have Jamie.”  I took his hand and kissed it stepping out of the shower.  He switched off the water and followed me.

“You have me too,”  Steve said.  It was almost like a question.  Like he needed the validation.  

I wrapped a towel around myself and looked up at him. “I sometimes feel like I have you but also … I’m not good enough for you.  You are so good.  I feel like the only thing I have in common with you is Bucky.  That that’s all you see in me.”  I shook my head.

Steve pulled me against his chest and I melted into him.  “I think originally maybe that’s true.  You were pregnant with Jamie.  I just saw you like this link to him.  It’s more than that though.  I hope you know that.  I do love you.  As for being too good for you.  People always look at me as this perfect man, who has only pure thoughts and virtuous actions.  You’ve seen in my head.  You know that’s not true.”

“You love him still.  If he came back. I’m still the second choice.”  

He didn’t answer for what felt like forever.  I nearly scanned him.  It took all my willpower not to.  All I would have to do is relax and stop blocking him and I’d know every thought he had.  Instead, I used the time to think.  What would I do if Bucky came back?  All this time I had been so set on the idea that his being here would make it better.  That we could somehow be a family together because of what I’d seen in Steve’s mind.  I’d forgotten that what people think and what they do aren’t always the same thing.

“Do you love Bucky?”  Steve asked, finally breaking the silence.  His hand went to my hair, tangling his fingers in it.

“Yes. Not the way you do though.  But I do.  He’s the only family I’d ever known.  Until now.”

“Maybe … when Bucky comes back he’ll choose both of us.”


	13. Chapter 13

A month passed and everyone was talking about what happened in Nigeria. The whole world seemed to be out for Wanda’s blood and the more everyone blamed her, the more Steve blamed himself. Nat, Sam and I kept trying to point out that Rumlow was the one that let the bomb off. There was no reasoning with them. They needed to blame themselves for this. They didn’t want to be able to dismiss those lives as being acceptable casualties.

I was finding it harder to keep the barriers up to keep Steve’s mind from mine. After what happened in Nigeria my mind felt weak. I ended up just giving up and trying to just not pay attention to the noise.

I was playing with Jamie alone on the grounds of the compound when Tony arrived. Tony was with some others. I scanned the intruders. Most were just security but one was not. His name was Ross. I didn’t trust him.

Jamie saw Tony and ran to him as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him, his arms outstretched. Tony lifted him up and swung him in the air.

“Hey there, Slugger.” He said, resting Jamie on his hip. “Got any words for your Uncle Tony? No? Still nothing?”

I shrugged and offered Tony a peck on the cheek.

“Daisy. This is General Ross.” Tony said indicated to the man he’d brought with him.

“Miss Adams. It’s a pleasure.” Ross said holding out his hand. I didn’t take it. I just looked at Tony. What he’d brought to the compound was not going to lead to anything good.

I followed them into the compound to the briefing room. The others all trickled in, in different states of wariness about the presence of General Ross. Tony didn’t seem to want to put James down. I don’t know if James was soothing his mind, or he just felt that holding him would protect him from any hostility he might receive from what he’d brought to us.

When he sat it wasn’t with the rest of us but in the corner alone. James struggled from his lap and crawled under the table. I took one of the note pads and pens from the table and gave them to him and he started drawing quietly.

Everyone made their introductions and Ross began his well-rehearsed speech.

“Five years ago I had a heart attack. I dropped right in the middle of my back-swing.” He said miming playing golf. “Turned out it was the best round of my life because, after 13 hours in surgery and a triple bypass, I found something forty years in the army had never taught me. Perspective.

“The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us. Protected us. Risked your lives. But while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word, vigilantes.”

“And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?” Natasha asked.

“How about dangerous?” He answered. “What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals. Who routinely ignore sovereign borders. Inflict their will where ever they choose. And who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?”

He turned on a screen about bought up a video of an attack on New York by some beast I have never before seen the likes of. “New York,” Ross said. I started rooting through his mind.

The video changed. It was now of the Hellicarriers falling from the sky in the battle against Hydra I had been a part of. “Washington D.C,” Ross said.

It changed again, this time the falling island that was once a city. “Sokovia,” Ross said.

The video now showed the burned outside of the building from our mission to capture Rumlow. “Lagos,” Ross said.

“Okay. That’s enough.” Steve said.

“No, wait. Steve. He’s missing one. You know the one, Mr. Secretary. I can see it in your head.” I interrupted. “It involved Banner fighting for his life against a monster. Flattening part of New York. Oh no, wait. That wasn’t us. That was  _you_ that did that. Tell me, how are we the dangerous ones?”

Ross faltered. He seemed panicked for a moment. With me here able to see his intentions his power grab might not go as smoothly as planned. He decided his best course of action was to ignore me. “In the past four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.” One of Ross’ men handed him a book. He put it on the table and slid it to Wanda. “The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries. It states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, you’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations Panel. Only when and if that panel deems it necessary.”

Everyone at the table felt torn and attacked. No one totally thought Ross was unreasonable and no one totally though he had our best intentions at heart. I could see into his head. All he wanted was control of a weapon. That was all he’d ever wanted.

“The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place,” Steve said. Steve was not even slightly torn. He saw Ross for exactly who he was. “I feel we’ve done that.”

“Tell me, Captain. Do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?” Ross asked.

Steve gave him an incredulous look. I nearly laughed out loud of the image he sent out. I bit my tongue.

“If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes, you can bet there’d be consequences.” Ross snarked. Ironic really, given he’d personally lost Banner several times now. “Consequence. Reassurance. That’s how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground.”

“So, there are contingencies?” Rhodey asked.

“Three days from now the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the accords. Talk it over.”

Steve looked back at Tony as Ross and his men went to leave.

“And if we come to a decision you don’t like?” Natasha asked.

“Then you retire,” Ross said.

* * *

We all kind of went our separate ways after the meeting. It was like an unspoken decision was made that we’d think about it first and then come back later to talk. Jamie needed a nap so I took him to his room and put him in his crib. He smiled up at me a pushed love back to me. I returned it to him and stroked his forehead until he drifted off to sleep.

When I went back to our room Steve was sitting on the bed, pawing over the accords and radiating worry. He looked up at me and I knew what he was thinking before he even said it.

“This is going to tear us all apart.” He said.

I sat next to him and rubbed his back. “I know. I don’t know how they can be blaming us for all that.”

“We were involved.”

“To stop a threat no one else could. They were going to nuke New York. Tony thinks about that all the time. How is that better than what you did that day?” I asked.

“I know that. I wish they all knew it too.”

“Steve,” I said. “Do you want me to change all their minds?”

Steve looked at me horrified. I hated that look. Fuck. I wish I knew what was an okay way to use these fucking abilities of mine. Hydra had always just wanted me to do anything I could as long as it wasn’t pointed at them.

“Sorry,” I said, quickly.

“People need to have free will, Daisy. Tell me you understand that.”

“I just don’t know why I can do these things if I’m not supposed to,” I said.

“Daisy, I could kill a person with my bare hands. Do you think I should do that?” He said.

“If it was necessary. Maybe me changing everyone’s mind is necessary.”

He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. I was hurting him. “What do you think we should do here with the Accords?” He asked.

“I think we shouldn’t sign them. I think they shouldn’t even have been written.”

“And if Vision went into your mind and changed it so you signed. How would that make you feel?”

“I wouldn’t know because he’d have changed my mind,” I said simply.

He was getting frustrated with me. “Would you want him to do that though?”

“No.”

“That’s why you can’t go doing things like that to other people,” Steve said. “They need to be able to make this choice themselves.”

“And if it destroys the team? We lose our friends?” I asked.

“Then that’s what has to happen.”

I started to cry. I didn’t want to lose anyone. I had only just started to feel like I belonged somewhere.

Steve wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips on top of my head. “If you want to sign to keep everyone together and stay here, I’ll understand.”

That made it worse. I didn’t want that at all. “I can’t do that. If you signed I might. But it would be reluctantly. That man does not want what’s best. He wants to own us. Like he wanted to own Bruce. I can’t be anyone’s property again. I just – can’t.”

“What did you see?”

I shook my head and wiped my eyes. “You know Bruce. He just wants to not hurt people. That man hunted him like a dog for his blood. And then used it to make a monster. He just wants power.”

“Then we can’t let him have ours,” Steve said. His jaw set.

We sat like that for a moment. Him just holding me.

“What will we do if we don’t sign?” I asked.

“Maybe we do retire. We could be happy don’t you think? Find a place out near some woods. Maybe we can have more children.” He rubbed his hand over my stomach.

My heart skipped a beat.

“Could you actually be happy like that, Steve? Not fighting anymore?”

“I think I could be. With you and Jamie and …” I saw the image of Bucky. His need for him radiated out of him like heat from a flame.

“Steve …” I said, barely more than a whisper.

“Yes?”

“I’m pregnant.”

The mixture of feeling he experienced all at once flooded through me. Fear, excitement, love, joy, betrayal. I think he felt every single emotion you can when someone drops a piece of information like that on you.

“Really?” He asked, his hand went to my stomach again.

“Really,” I answered putting my hand on his. “Are you okay?”

“I think so. We didn’t plan this.” He said, his hand was shaking slightly and his eyes glistened like he wanted to cry but wouldn’t let himself.

“They told me it couldn’t happen. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything.” I said. I don’t know why I added that last bit. I knew he didn’t think that. I just needed to reassure him.

“How far along?” He asked.

“Three months.”

His jaw set. “You were pregnant when I took you to catch Rumlow.” He was furious at me. His fury dripped from his words and pushed out at me.

“Yes. Please don’t be mad. I needed to go. You know that.”

“Daisy. You could have died.”

“I didn’t though,” I said softly. “Steve. Please tell me you’re okay with this. I need to hear you say it.”

“Have you been seeing the medical staff?”

“Yes, dad. Now, please. No more dad mode with me. You have children to be a dad with. One in the room over, one growing here.” I squeezed his hand. “Tell me you’re okay.”

He looked away for a second. When he looked back a tear had escaped, it rolled down his cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb. “I’m scared. When I came out of the ice. I was so alone. This wasn’t my world. I had no reason to live and I didn’t particularly want to. So I could just be as reckless as I needed to be to get a job done. You keep giving me reasons to live, but I don’t know how to do that. I know how to die for things. I don’t know how to live for them.”

I leaned up and kissed him. He didn’t really kiss back but when I went to pull away but he caught me by the back of my head, his fingers bunching into my hair. I yielded my mouth to him, opening and allowing his tongue access.

I climbed into his lap and wrapped my arms around the back of his neck. We sat with me in his lap, grinding against him, kissing each other. He suddenly took hold of the front of my shirt and tore it open. Buttons went flying. He grabbed my bra and tore it before latching on top my breast and sucking on one of my nipples, it felt like heaven on my sensitive breast. I shrugged off my ruined clothing and began fumbling with the buttons of his shirt.

When I managed to get the last button undone, he lifted me and lay me back on the bed crawling between my legs. He unfastened my shorts and dragged them down. He placed kisses up the inside of my thighs, each one accompanied by the gentle rake of his teeth over my skin. When he reached my pussy, he pushed his nose between my folds and ran it and his tongue up my crevice. I tensed up suddenly, sucking in a sharp breath, and then relaxed as he expertly used his tongue on my cunt. He had spent time perfecting this skill, learning the tricks of my body and everything was so sensitive. That pleasant pooling sensation that precedes an orgasm starting building in me immediately. He swirled the point of his tongue over my clit, and then pressed it between his lips. He pushed two fingers into my already wet and ready cunt. I squeezed around them as he dragged he pressed his fingertips against my g-spot.

I moaned and writhed under him. Pressure built in my core and I pleaded with Steve for release. He pushed his fingers against my g-spot while he pressed his teeth against my swollen clit. I came. I gripped the sheets so hard they tore in my hands. My whole body curved away from the bed as he lapped me up.

He climbed up over me and our lips met. I gently ran the tip of my tongue over his lips, tasting myself on him. As we kissed he entered me. I gasped as I felt my cunt stretch to accommodate his girth. He buried his face into my neck, sucking on my skin. Playfully biting me as he rolled his hips with every thrust.

I clung to him whimpering as a second orgasm started to build in me. I raked my fingers through his hair and he propped himself up and looked down at me. I ran my thumb over his lower lip and he took it into his mouth, sucking along the length. I was suddenly overwhelmed by a sudden feeling of love. Like it had just occurred to him he could maybe actually be happy with just me. I leaned up and kissed him and he rolled over and pulled me up, in this fluid movement that only Steve Rogers could possibly do. Remaining inside me the whole time. I was now seated in his lap and I wrapped myself around him linking my hands behind his head and rode him.

He kissed me and as we kissed my orgasm broke and crashed down on me. I clenched around his cock and he emptied inside of me. We collapsed down together and just lay tangled around each other.

“We should go have a shower and talk to the others. We have to get them to see why this is wrong.” I said.

“Agreed.”

* * *

We sat in the communal lounge/kitchen area. Steve was still reading the accords. He sat and read while we all argued around him. The main argument seemed to stem from whether Ross was trustworthy or not. Some people seemed to think he was just because of his position in society. I’d seen the truth. I felt like Cassandra yelling about how we were doomed, and no one was listening.

Tony was frustrated with us. He hurt so badly, but I just wanted to slap him in his face.

Rhodey and Sam were just going on and on and on about why we should or shouldn’t sign. Just talking in circles. They’d been talking so long James had actually woken up and I’d had to go get him, feed him his dinner and now he was playing quietly with blocks in the corner.

Finally, Vision interrupted. “I have an equation.”

“Oh, this’ll clear it up.” Sam groaned.

“In the eight years that Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially.” Vision explained. “And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.”

“Are you saying it’s our fault?” Steve asked.

“I’m saying there may be a causality.” He answered. “Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict breeds catastrophe. Oversight. Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.”  

“Boom,” Rhodey said looking at Sam.

“I don’t know how oversight would change any of that. We exist. We are here. I don’t get to take off my suit and retire. If I am a threat I will always be one. As will you Vis. And Wanda. And Steve. The challenge will come. So it comes and we wait and sit on our hands as a Government organization debates whether the threat is bad enough? How many people have to die before it’s bad enough?” I said. “Correct me if I’m wrong. I do only put these things together from your own memories. But didn’t you stop the government from nuking all of Manhattan during the attack by Loki? Wouldn’t Manhattan now be a hole in the ground while the rest of the world speaks Chitauri if it wasn’t for the same people who are now trying to control our actions?”

“Boom,” Sam said looking at Rhodey.

“Tony,” Natasha said. “You’re being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.”

“That’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Steve interjected.

“Oh, you know me so well.” Tony snapped. He got up rubbing his head. “Actually, I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache. That’s what’s going on, Cap. It’s just pain.” He went to pour himself some coffee. “Discomfort. Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed a button. A photo of a young man, smiling and full of life displayed in the air above the phone. “Oh, that’s Charles Spencer by the way. He’s a great kid. Computer Engineering degree. 3.6 GPA. Had a floor lever gig. An Intel plan for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul. Before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would have done. He didn’t want to go to Paris or Amsterdam. Sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where? Sokovia. He wanted to make a difference I suppose. I mean we won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.” He took a pill and chased it with coffee.

“There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations were boundary-less. We’re no better than the bad guys.”

“I’m sorry that kid died, Tony. That, however, was on you. You made Ultron knowing full well we would have told you not to. It isn’t  _us_  that needs keeping in check. It’s your ego.” I snapped. I’d hurt him. I could see it. I didn’t care.

“Tony. If someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up.” Steve said, aiming for kindness.

“Who said we were giving up?” Tony asked.

“We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions,” Steve answered. “This document just shifts the blame.”

“Sorry, Steve that … that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we’re talking about.” Rhodey said. “Not the World Security Council. It’s not SHIELD. It’s not HYDRA.”

Steve interrupted him. “No, but it’s run by people. People with agendas. And agendas change.”

“That’s good. That’s why I’m here. Because when I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands I shut it down and stopped manufacturing them.” Tony said striding over to Steve.

“Tony you chose to do that. If we sign this we surrender our right to choose.” Steve said. “What if this panel sends us somewhere we shouldn’t go? What if there’s somewhere we need to go and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect but the safest hands are still our own.”

“If we don’t do this now, it’s going to be done to us later. That’s the fact. That won’t be pretty.” Tony said.

“Are you saying they’ll come for me?” Wanda asked. She was so angry and afraid.

’ _WANDA YOU KNOW WE WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN’_ I pushed.

 _‘I KNOW YOU WON’T. I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE ELSE.’_ She pushed back.

“We would protect you.” Vision said. He had heard out mental conversation. He wanted to make the statement out loud so everyone could hear.

“Maybe Tony’s right,” Natasha said. She hesitated for a second. “If we have one hand on the wheel we can still steer. If we take it off …”

“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam asked.

“I’m just … I’m reading the terrain. We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.” Natasha answered.

“Focus up,” Tony said. “I’m sorry did I just mishear you or did you agree with me?”

“Oh, I wanna take it back now,” Natasha said.

“No, no. You can’t retract it. Thank you.” Tony said.

“Oh please, let me just change their minds.” I groaned, throwing my head back.

“You stay out of my head!” Tony said turning on me.

Steve’s phone buzzed while we continued to argue among ourselves. His face fell and he stood. “I have to go.” He said striding out of the room.

I jumped to my feet and scooped up Jamie and chased after him. I found him at the bottom of the stairs crying.

“Steve,” I whispered.

He looked at me and I knew what it was before he even said the words. “Peggy, she …” I wrapped my arms around him and he fell apart.


	14. Chapter 14

Steve’s pain overwhelmed him. I felt like an intruder experiencing his grief second hand like I was. I tried to shut it out. Let him have it for himself. The way he would have wanted. Doing so caused me to have such severe migraines that all I could do was focus on that, and not be there to comfort him. When the nosebleeds started I felt forced to drop the walls and have his pain consume me.

My thoughts became selfish to the point that I was glad I was the telepath and not him. I wanted to run. I hated being around him while he grieved so strongly. Not only was it making me grieve for a person I didn’t actually know. It made me grieve for him losing this person he loved and held so dearly. The feeling I was carrying that I hated most of all was petty, fucking jealousy. I was jealous of this woman. Jealous that Steve loved her so much. Jealous that he would never love me the same way because I had met him in this past life where he’d lost so much and carried around such large a burden. I’d always had this feeling of being his second choice. Now, with this loss, I realized I wasn’t even that. If he could have found some way he could have had her and that life, he would have taken it.

He kept the compass with her photo with him constantly. I was in his pocket all the time. He’d put his hand onto it and just hold it like it was a protective amulet. He would take it out and hold it to his heart, or to his lips. Any time he did it reminded me how I wasn’t good enough for him and I never would be.

Despite wanting to run I didn’t. I stayed by his side. I pretended I couldn’t hear his thoughts. I held him when he needed it. I gave him space when he needed that too. I listened when he wanted to talk about her. I gave him distractions when he wanted them. I held back my tears as much as I could, though to be honest, that wasn’t much. Sometimes I felt like I was crying his tears on his behalf because he didn’t want to crack and show everyone how much he hurt.

Peggy’s funeral was the day of the accords. Steve, Sam and I flew to London to attend. We brought Jamie. Poor Jamie was miserable but he had no idea why. He just sat with his bottom lip poking out. I kept having to block his attempts to sooth Steve. He got so frustrated with me doing that he actually hit me at one point. It’s hard to have discussions with toddlers about when it’s okay to use their psychic abilities. Especially when you’re not too sure what the social rules governing mental manipulation are yourself.

Steve was acting as one of the Pallbearers, and we were milling around outside the cathedral. I was holding James as he pressed his miserable little face against me patting my neck. Steve was close to completely falling apart again and I clung to his hand and let his misery press down on me.

I felt my mind being occupied. Bucky’s consciousness pressed down on me. My head started to swim and I handed James to Sam.

“I just have to …” I said but didn’t finish my thought before dashing off. I just managed to make it to a spot by the church that wasn’t swarming with people when Bucky spoke.

-  _DAISY? WHAT’S HAPPENING? IS STEVE HURT. -_

I leaned against the wall, sliding to the ground. My mind fell again. Everything went black and then I opened my eyes I was sitting at a table in a grimy apartment.

-  _BUCKY? -_ I asked.

 _\- YES. IS STEVE OKAY? -_ He replied

 _\- WHERE ARE YOU? -_ I tried looking around the room, to glean some information about where we were. He had too much control of the situation though, and he just stared straight ahead at the wall.

-  _JUST ANSWER ME. PLEASE. DAISY. IS STEVE OKAY? -_ He felt terrified. It hurt my heart.

-  _IT’S PEGGY. -_ I didn’t know how to say it. I assumed he knew what Peggy meant to Steve. He probably met her too.

-  _WHAT ABOUT HER? -_ He asked.

-  _SHE DIED. I’M SORRY, BUCKY. -_

There was a pause and I felt all these different emotions flicker through him. I tried to look inward, see what he was thinking, but he was too good at stopping me from doing that now.

 _-_ _I’M IN_ _BUCHAREST. -_

I was stunned. I faltered not knowing what to do. -  _WHAT? -_

Bucky cut me off and I fell again. I opened my eyes and I was lying on the ground, gravel digging into my cheek. I sat up and blood fell from my face in a stream. I dug in my purse hoping I’d put something in there to stop the bleeding.

There was the sound of a throat clearing and I looked up, only now aware that someone else was even there. Sam stood in front of me holding James, in one hand and offered me a handkerchief.

“Why do you even have that?” I asked, holding it to my nose.

He laughed. “I guess Cap’s rubbing off on me.”

“How bad is it?” I asked.

“Pretty damn bad, Daze. Did you get that scan Steve wanted you to have?”

I shook my head and Sam offered me his hand, pulling me to my feet. I wobbled a little when I stood. “They can’t. I’m pregnant, Sam.”

Sam looked at me, eyes wide. “Since when?”

“Since three months ago.”

“Does Steve know?” He asked narrowing his eyes at me. Always protective of Steve.

“Yes,” I answered. I nearly laced that yes with sarcasm, but then I remembered I had actually kept that from Steve for so long that maybe Sam had a point. “Thanks for looking out for him.”

“You should go get cleaned up. If Steve sees you like this it might just break him.” Sam said.

“Okay. I’ll see you inside. Are you okay with Jamie for a bit longer?” I asked.

“Of course. Me and James are buddies aren’t we?” Sam said. He held his fist up and James pressed a chubby little fist to it.

I started to leave and Sam grabbed my arm. “You’re not going to tell me what happened?” He asked.

“It was Bucky,” I said quietly. “He’s in Bucharest.”

Sam kept holding my arm looking troubled. “Wait until after. Let him grieve. He can’t just jump from this to that.”

I swallowed and nodded very slightly. “I know.”

* * *

I crept into the church after the funeral had already begun. I sat myself down between Steve and Sam, and Steve gave me a look of pure hurt. He needed me to be here and instead, I’d been cleaning blood off my clothes. All I could do is take his hand and hope he’d forgive me. Through the funeral, it felt like my heart was being torn out because it felt like Steve’s heart was being torn out.

After the service was over Steve asked us to leave him alone. He wanted to say a last goodbye to Peggy. So Sam and I took Jamie back to the hotel we were staying at and waited for him in the restaurant.

When he returned he had a blond woman with him. Sharon. Peggy’s niece. The one that gave the eulogy. They sat down at the table with us, and Steve took James from me.

“Daisy, this is Sharon,” Steve said in way of introduction. “She used to spy on me.”

“I used to do my job,” Sharon said, prickling at Steve’s words.

“You worked for SHIELD,” I said, suddenly recognizing her. “You were the one that stood up to Rumlow.”

“Yes, that was me. I know who you are of course.” She said offering me her hand. I shook it and smiled.

“When you were ‘doing your job’ did Peggy know?” Steve asked.

Sharon shook her head. “She had to keep so many secrets. I couldn’t ask her to keep that one. Not from you.”

A sense of relief washed over Steve. The idea that Peggy could have possibly lied to him about that had been filling him with dread.

The five of us sat an ate lunch. Not long after he’d finished eating, James drifted off to sleep in Steve’s arms. He looked so natural like that. Talking with Sharon about Peggy, reminiscing with her with Jamie curled up against his chest. I was glad Sharon was there. I had no experience truly losing a loved one before and I didn’t know Peggy. Most people I would assume could reminisce with friends and family of all their shared experiences with the person they had just lost. Steve didn’t have that. All the people who shared that part of his life were gone. At least he felt he could talk to Sharon.

“Where were you during the funeral, Daisy?” Steve said, turning to me.

I looked from Sharon to Sam to Steve. Sam nodded at me. I could see in his head that he thought she could be trusted. I quickly scanned her. She was a good person. Stubborn and fearless, but she believed in Steve.

“Bucky pushed himself on me, and then dragged me into his mind,” I said. I didn’t want to look at Steve, so I just looked down at Jamie. He was sleeping soundly on Steve. He felt safe and at home in his arms.

“Tell him,” Sam said, shoving me with his elbow.

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. I wanted to go to Bucky right now, bring him home. I was scared it was too soon after the funeral though. That Steve needed more time to process that before he could properly process this.

Sharon’s phone chirped and she pulled it out of her pocket and looked at the screen. “There was an explosion at the UN.” She said. “They’re saying it was James Barnes. I have to go to work.” She stood up, nodded at us and left.

Steve was suddenly terrified again. “We should go.” He said getting to his feet.

I took Steve’s hand. “It wasn’t Bucky.”

“How can you possibly know that?” He asked.

I gave him an incredulous look.

“Right, sorry.” He said, squeezing my hand.

“He’s in Bucharest. We need to get him before they do. He didn’t do this, and if they come for him, he’ll run and people will get hurt.” I said.

“How long have you known where he was?” Steve asked. He was hurt. He thought I’d been hiding it from him.

“He told me at the funeral. That’s where I was. He pulled me into him because he was worried about you. He told me where he was when I told him about Peggy.” I explained.

“Then we’ll go to Bucharest and find him,” Steve said, he looked down at both Sam and I gravely. “I can go alone if I need to. But if we do this, we’ll be breaking the law. If we’re caught, we’ll be arrested.”

“Hey, I go where you go,” Sam said.

“Just slower,” Steve added, and they both laughed.

“Daisy, I want you to come, but after you’ve located him, you need to stay out of it. No one can know you were involved with this. We can’t leave Jamie with no one.”

I nodded getting to my feet. “Steve … How can we convince everyone that he’s innocent? He can’t get locked up for this. We – we need him.”

Steve ran his hand over my jaw and pulled me to him, kissing me softly on the mouth. “I know. Don’t worry. We’ll bring him home.”


	15. Chapter 15

The four of us flew straight to Bucharest. I scanned the city. I could feel how close he was, and I touched on everyone’s mind looking for evidence they’d seen him. It took longer than it would have in the past because when I focused too hard my nose bled. If my nose bled, Steve made me stop.

Finally, I touched on the mind of an old lady heading home to her apartment. She was thinking of the sweet boy who lived next door. She was going to make Lángos and take it to him. She worried about him eating enough. The boy was not a boy. He was a man. A man with a metal arm.

“Steve! I’ve got him!” I squealed, opening my eyes.

“What where?” Steve said jumping to his feet. “Sam! Suit up.”

I followed him into the bedroom of the shitty little apartment we were holed up in and watched as he stripped off the sweats he’d been wearing and started pulling on his uniform.

“He’s in an apartment block, it’s probably twenty minutes northeast of where we are now. Top floor. Apartment on the left when you take the Eastern stairwell. I can show you.”

Sam appeared in the doorway. “I was just monitoring the military channels. Bad news. Daze wasn’t the first one to find him. A swat team is on their way.”

“Damn it!” Steve snapped. “Daisy, do you think you can pinpoint it on a map?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I don’t exactly have an address.”

“If they’re sending in the authorities the risk is too high for you to come. Particularly not with Jamie. Do your best. See if you can find it while we get ready.” Steve said. He was in totally Captain America mode. I wouldn’t be able to talk my way into this fight.

I headed back into the living room and using Google maps of all things I somehow managed to find the building. Sam entered the details in his equipment.

“Daisy,” Steve said coming up behind me, he was putting his helmet on, fastening the strap on his chin. James was walking along beside him, holding on to one of the pockets on his pants. “This might get ugly. Wait here. If we don’t come back call Nat. Please, don’t use your abilities to find us.” Steve picked James up and kissed him. I stood and Steve passed him to me.

“You have people to live for. Don’t forget.” I said running my finger down his nose. “And bring him home.”

“I’ll do my best.” He kissed me and left without looking back.

“Don’t get killed,” I said to Sam as he passed me.

“Who me? I’m always safe.” Sam laughed as he followed Steve out the door.

So just like always I waited. I spent the rest of the day keeping James distracted and trying not to worry. When the sun set I turned on the TV to see if there was anything on the news. I flicked through stations until I found footage of Steve being muscled into a car.

I picked up the phone and called Nat.

* * *

Natasha had Rhodey come and collect me. He was not happy about it.

“What do you think you’re playing at, Daisy?” He snapped at me, barging straight into the apartment.

I glared at him. He was still in his War Machine armor and quite obviously treating me as hostile. “I’m playing at trying to protect an innocent man. Who you might also recall is the father of my child. What are you playing at?”

“I’m just trying to uphold the law.” He answered.

I rolled my eyes. “Well, aren’t you noble?”

I started grabbing my things. “Rhodey, you aren’t here to arrest me. I have Jamie with me. What are you doing?”

“I just came from arresting your boyfriend. You think I had time to change?” He said defensively.

“Well, I’ve seen Tony get in and out of the Iron suit in three seconds flat. So I’m going to go with: Yes.” I said. “Did you think it would protect you from me?” I scooped Jamie up and headed out the door.

“No. Yet I still felt the need to wear it. What does that tell you?” Rhodey asked.

I turned and looked at him. “It tells me that whatever you think is happening here, you’re calling it a war.”

“That’s not what it is?”

“I was under the impression it was people disagreeing about signing away their decision-making process or not. But what do I know? I also thought we were family. Yet here you are aiming a pulse rifle at a one-year-old.”

I was taken back to Berlin, but not in the convey with the others. James and I were flown on the Quinjet. When I got there the first thing I realized was that they were not only not going to let me see Steve and absolutely not see Bucky, but they hadn’t even told Steve I was there. I was taken to an office and told to wait. I was told I wasn’t under arrest, yet I was still kind of under arrest as far as everyone who came near me was concerned.

Natasha came to see me. She felt such hurt and fear. I immediately stood when she came into the room and hugged her. I didn’t even care that she thought I was wrong and that Bucky was a dangerous criminal, I just needed to hug her.

“Why couldn’t you both just leave it alone?” She asked as we clung to each other.

“You know why,” I answered.

James toddled over and pulled on her jacket. She crouched down and picked him up.

Tony stormed into the room. “You are going back to the compound right now.” He barked.

“How about you go fuck yourself?” I seethed at him.

“Do you kiss Cap with that mouth?” Tony asked, sitting down and putting his legs up on the desk.

Natasha handed James to me “I’m just going to let you both talk. Play nice children.”

I grabbed her hand. “Tell him I’m here and I’m safe.”

She shook her head. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Either tell him I’m here and safe, or I will.” I tapped my head.

“Don’t do it, Romanoff.” Tony snapped. Nat smiled at me sadly and left the room.

“Sit down, Adams,” Tony said.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do. This is your fault.” I yelled. Jamie pushed how upset he was that I was yelling into my head and covered my mouth with his hand. “Sorry, Bubba,” I said, looking down at him and kissing his hands. He started to squirm and I put him down. He waddled over to Tony and gestured to be lifted. Tony picked him up and hugged him. I sat down opposite him.

“I didn’t write the accords, Daisy. I just support them. What Steve has done … he interfered with the capture of a murderer.” Tony said. He was talking to me like I was a child that wouldn’t understand properly.

“He didn’t murder anyone,” I said interrupting him.

“Daisy. He was a tool of Hydra. He murdered people.” Tony reasoned.

“So was I, Tony,” I said. “You gonna lock me up? Leave Jamie with no parents?”

“Daisy …” He said sadly.

“Stop saying my name like you’re the principal at my school and you think I’m going off the rails.” I snapped. “You know I’m pregnant right?”

He did not. He looked up at me stunned. At a loss for words for what was probably the first time in his actual life. “It’s Cap’s?”

“Uh … yes.”

“When are you due?”

“In six months,” I answered. “So you see; I’m not going back to the fucking compound. I’m not going anywhere without my family. And I  _will_  be walking out here with them, even if it means I wipe every single person’s mind of any trace of Captain America, Falcon or the fucking Winter Soldier. And when I say every single person. I mean; every. Single. Person. Every person in this building. Every person in the UN. Every person on the fucking planet if I have to. Do I make myself clear?” I spoke calmly but with venom. I never raised my voice, but my anger dripped from every word.

“He’s not under arrest. He can go. You can both go.” Tony said quietly.

“And Bucky?” I asked.

“Daisy …”

“He didn’t do this, Tony. I can fix him. You know I can.” I pleaded with him.

“I don’t have that kind of power. I just don’t.”

I started to cry. “I need him, Tony.  _Steve_  needs him.”

Tony got up, putting James back on his feet. He walked around the desk and put his hand on my shoulder. “Stay here. I’ll send Cap up. You can talk to him about what you want to do.” He shook his head and laughed. “You’re both so god damned stubborn. No wonder you like each other so much.”

“You can talk.” I sniffed.

He laughed and left the room. I sat and waited. I started to wonder if Tony had lied to me. That he never went to tell Steve I was here. That maybe he was under arrest. I tried the door and it was locked. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor. James was pushing the chair on the far side of the desk back and forth he looked over at me and toddled over.

“Hey, buddy,” I said, hugging him when he fell into my arms. “I wonder where your daddy is.”

I received a clear impression of Steve in a glass room with Sam and Sharon. He was watching a screen. Bucky was in this Glass box, strapped down like he was back in Hydra when they wiped him. I started to tremble. He must be terrified. He wasn’t even resisting either. He could get out of that fucking box. Why were they doing this?

“Your daddy is in big trouble, Jamie,” I said, squeezing him against me. “And you are kind of scary, little one. How am I going to teach you how to control those powers when they’re so strong?”

The lights suddenly went out. It was almost pitch black in the room except for a flashing red light. I scrambled to my feet holding Jamie close to me. He pushed fear onto me.

“It’s okay, little one,” I said, pressing my lips to his head. I tried the door again. It was just as locked now as it had been with the lights out. “Can you find daddy again?”

An image of Steve and Sam running down some stairs filled my head. “That’s pretty good, bud. What about this one.” I projected an image of Bucky into his mind. There was a pause and then my head was filled with Bucky. He was panicking. Someone was reading out his trigger words.

“Oh no, no, no, no!” I chanted. I put James on the ground and started thumping on the door. James started crying. I was going to have to try and put in his barriers or we might lose him.

I ran to the corner of the room and sat down propping myself in the corner. “Jamie. I’m going to be okay, baby. Just be good for, mommy.” I said. He crawled over and curled up in my lap. I closed my eyes and sent myself to Bucky. He was fighting, and I started sifting through his mind.

-  _HELP ME, DAISY! -_  He cried out in his own mind.

-  _I’M TRYING! -_ I pushed back, as I put wall after wall up around the core of what made him, him. Things happened so fast. I was just attempting to write in something to undo it. Something I was sure Steve would say when the Soldier took over and pushed me out so hard it felt like I’d been physically thrown.

Everything went black.


	16. Chapter 16

I woke up to a room full of chaos. I was being lifted onto a stretcher. James was crying. I couldn’t see where he was. I sat up and the people around me started fighting to hold me down.

“Let me go!” I cried fighting against them. Someone came towards me with a syringe and instead of saying it out loud I pushed it into them. -  _LET ME GO! -_

Everyone stopped and I climbed off the gurney. Tony was standing to the side of the room holding James.

“Daisy, stop this. You’re going back to the compound.” He said. It was half an order, half pleading with me.

“Put him down.” I seethed.

“Look at you! You’re bleeding. Be reasonable.”

“Put. Him. Down.” I yelled, pushing the order into his head. Tony placed James on his feet and Jamie ran to me. The expression on Tony’s face was one of total pain. I picked up James and tore a strip of the sheet from the gurney, holding it to my face.

Tony held his hand up at me, he had one of his Iron Man gauntlets on. I stared at him. “Everyone, get out of here. I don’t exist.” I said, pushing it to everyone else in the room.

Everyone in the room started to leave. The pain Tony felt was intense. “Please, Daisy. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Put your hand down. You are never going to threaten me like that again.” I said pushing the order into his head. Tony dropped his hand.

“Stop. Please.”

“Do you like me, Tony? And Jamie?” I asked.

“Of course I do.” He said, his pain was being replaced by terror at what I was doing to him.

“Do you want to keep the memories of us?” I seethed.

He stumbled backwards. “What are you planning to do?”

“Tell me where Steve is.”

“I – I don’t know.” He stuttered.

I scanned him. He really didn’t know. Steve and Sam had taken off after Bucky.

“You’re going to let me leave here and find my family, Tony. You’re either going to do that making the choice yourself, or I am going to force you to do it. If I force you to do it, I will erase every trace that either Jamie or I exist. Do you understand?”

“Please don’t do this.” Tony pleaded with me. “You know I can’t let you go.”

I approached him and touched his face. “Goodbye, Tony. I do love you.” He wanted to grab me, but I wouldn’t let him raise his arms.

“Daisy …” He whispered.

I looked down at him sadly. “You don’t know a Daisy.”

* * *

I stumbled down the hall holding James tightly against me. I was still bleeding but it was beginning to ease up. My head, however, felt like it had been cracked open. I was worried I’d pass out again before I got out of here.

Sharon Carter came around the corner looking frantic. I went to wipe her of seeing me but I felt her relief in finding me and I hesitated.

“Daisy, thank god! Follow me.” She said.

I scanned her. Steve had sent her to get me and their armor. I followed, trying to keep up with her.

“Are you hurt?” She asked.

“No. The things I can do … my abilities … they’ve been acting up. When I use them they hurt me.” I said.

“Maybe I should take you somewhere safe,” Sharon suggested. “Let Steve find you when all this is done with.”

I shook my head. “No. I can handle it.”

I followed her to her car with little trouble. I kept up a command that people not notice us until we left the security gate. When we were finally clear I relaxed back with my eyes closed. I felt like I was going to pass out again.

It wasn’t long until we were pulling up under an underpass opposite a vintage blue Volkswagen Beetle. I saw Steve and Sam climb out of the car and started to unbuckle James. When I got out of the car holding James I saw him.

Bucky stood staring at me. “Daisy?” He said.

I ran to him and fell against him. He hugged me tightly against his chest.

“Oh god, Bucky. I was so worried. I missed you so much.” I murmured into his chest. I felt like I had a missing piece of me back again. That part of me that was always so familiar but had been ripped away from me had finally been returned.

“I’m sorry. It was the soldier – I couldn’t …” He said softly. “I’m sorry I left you alone.”

“You’re back. That’s all that matters.”

Bucky pulled away from me, holding me at arm’s length. “Who’s this?” He asked, gesturing to James.

“I think you know the answer to that. Just let it come to you.” I said. I wanted to know that the conversations we’d been having were real. Not just my mind playing tricks on me.

He looked from me to James and understanding dawned on him. “This is James. My son.” He said, taking him from me. “I thought I’d dreamed that. Daisy. I’m so sorry.” He hugged Jamie tightly, kissing him on the top of the head and I started to cry. Not loud sobbing crying, just quiet tears slipping down my cheeks.

I looked over at Steve. He’d been watching us, an aura of fear and jealousy around him. I smiled. “Steve. You’ve got Bucky back.” I said.

Steve took a hesitant step forward. It was like he hadn’t stopped to process it yet. It had just been a day of fight and flight he hadn’t realized what any of this meant.

I took a step away from Bucky and Steve approached.

“Hey, punk,” Bucky said, a half-smile crossing his features.

Steve raised his hand and put it on Bucky’s cheek, his thumb stroking the stubble on his jaw. “Jerk.”

Bucky leaned forward and they kissed. I stepped away from them. Letting them have this moment. I approached Sam who was loading the equipment into the back of the car.

“You okay, Daze?” He asked.

“Not really. My head hurts. I did something really bad to Tony.” I said.

“I meant about that,” Sam said gesturing to Steve and Bucky, they were standing with their foreheads pressed together. With James in Bucky’s arms, they looked like a family that had been reunited after one had been away at war. “What did you do to Stark?”

“That’s as it should be,” I said. “I thought it would hurt. It just feels right. What I did to Tony, I’m not sure if I’m up to talking about.”

Bucky, Sam and I climbed into the car and waited for Steve as he thanked Sharon for her help. I sat in the back with Bucky, he had Jamie sitting on his lap. I was surprised at how well James had taken to this complete stranger. He knew this man was his family. So he trusted him.

“Can you move your seat up?” Bucky asked Sam.

“No,” Sam said.

Bucky shifted across so he was closer to me. He held his hand out and I took it. His steel fingers closed around mine. “You okay, doll?” He asked. “I can still feel you.” He tapped his head.

Sam turned in the chair and glared at him. “You’re really going to hit on her after what just happened out there? She’s having his baby you know?” Sam snapped.

“Sam!” I squeaked. The good feelings Bucky had just been feeling all drained out of him. He let go of my hand and passed James over to me.

Steve climbed into the car. He looked between the three of us. “Is something wrong?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. What are we doing?”

Steve drove us to the Berlin airport. He told me about the other Super Soldiers and the fake doctor wanting to reactivate them to take over the world.

“This is going to be dangerous, Daisy,” Steve said.

“You’re not leaving me behind.”

“That’s not going to be safe either. You’re coming. Your job is to keep Jamie safe though. Avoid using your powers if you can. If you pass out because you overdo it, that doesn’t help us at all. Use them if you have to. If a soldier comes at you, shut them down. Don’t worry about us. We can take care of ourselves. Worry about Jamie.” Steve said.

“Okay.”

He pulled the car into a multi-story car park and drove up, parking next to a white van. We all got out and Clint got out of the van with Wanda. I suddenly felt so excited. This was going to be dangerous, but we were together. We had each other. I just wished the others were with us too.

“Cap!” Clint said, shaking Steve’s hand.

“You know I wouldn’t have called if I had any other choice,” Steve said.

“Hey man, you’re doing me a favor. Besides, I owe a debt.” Clint said indicating to Wanda.

“Thanks for having my back,” Steve said to Wanda.

“It was time to get off my ass,” Wanda said, looking at Clint.

“What about our other recruit?” Steve asked.

Clint turned and opened the back of the van. “He’s raring to go.” He said. “Had to put a little coffee in him but he should be good.”

There was a man sleeping on the back seat. Clint banged the side of the van and the man woke, startled blinking up at us.

He climbed out of the van and looked around. “Hey, what time zone is this?” He asked.

Clint nodded to the rest of us. “Go on.” He said. The new guy looked awestruck. “Go on,” Clint said pushing him.

“Captain America.” The guy said shaking Steve’s hand.

“Mr. Lang,” Steve replied.

“It’s an honor.” He looked down at their hands, he was still shaking. “I’m shaking your hand too long. Wow, this is awesome.” He looked back at Wanda. “Captain America. I know you too. You’re great.” He said to her. He turned back to Steve and touched his arms like he was assessing his body. “Jeez. Ah, look I wanna say, I know you know a lot of super people, so thinks for thanking of me. Hey man!” He finished, gesturing to Sam.

“What’s up, Tic Tac?” Sam replied.

“Uh, good to see you. Look; what happened last time …” Lang said.

Sam cut him off. “Was a great audition, but it’ll never happen again.”

“Did they tell you what we were up against?” Steve asked.

“Something about some psycho assassins?” Lang answered.

“We’re outside the law on this one. So if you come with us, you’re a wanted man.” Steve explained.

“Yeah, well. What else is new?” Lang said.

“We should get moving,” Bucky said.

“Got a chopper lined up,” Clint said.

A siren went off and an announcement was made over the loudspeakers.

“They’re evacuating the airport,” Bucky said.

“Stark,” Sam added.

“Stark?” Lang asked.

Steve took a deep breath. This was bad.

“Suit up!” He said.

Wanda and I waited for the others to get into their various armor.

“We’ll split up. I’ll try and get to the helicopter. If they interfere try and find an alternative method of flight. Sam, you stay with Buck. Wanda, Clint, you’re together. Lang, stay with me.” He turned to me. “You, stay invisible. Don’t worry about us. Worry about him.” He touched Jamie on the head. “You can’t get arrested. Send out enough of a push that anyone near you, just doesn’t see you. No more.”

I nodded.

I followed Steve down to the chopper but waited in the shadows on the ground, while he and Lang headed to it. Tony and Rhodey flew in disabling the helicopter. I watched as the others arrived. First, a guy dressed a cat that I’d never seen before. Then Natasha. Finally what looked like a kid in weird red pajamas somersaulted out of nowhere and stole Steve’s shield from him using some weird web-like stuff.

Tony yelled at Steve. I couldn’t quite hear him, but he said something about Steve tearing the Avengers apart.

Sam’s voice came in over the comms. “We found it. The Quinjet’s in hangar 5. North runway.”

That was my cue to move. I started to run. Keeping to the shadows. Holding James as close to my body as he would allow me. Natasha came running for me, as a fight broke out behind me, but as soon as she came near she forgot what she was doing and turned and ran back to the others.

Tony started firing on Clint and Wanda, alarmingly close to Jamie and I. Jamie started to cry and I hid behind a truck hoping that Tony would pass by. It was one thing to be invisible from people. I couldn’t make the Iron Suit not see me. Wanda started throwing cars and Tony and I ran again.

Wanda and Clint caught up to me, followed by the others. Vision floated down in front of us, carving a groove in the path in front of us. We stopped running and looked up at him.

“Captain Rogers. I know that you believe what you are doing is right but for the collective good you must surrender now.” Vision said as he was joined by the others.

“What do we do, Cap?” Sam asked.

Steve steeled himself. “We fight.” He said taking a step forward.

I ran backward. I couldn’t take James into that. I needed to get him away from them. I somehow managed to circle around the fighting but Vision came for me. He floated down in front of me. I tried to push to him that I wasn’t there. The gem glowed and it felt like something popped behind my eyes.

“Daisy. Please stop this. We can convince them this was not your idea. There is no reason why you should be separated from your children.” Vision said.

I wiped my nose and glared at him. “Is that a threat, Vision?”

“It’s just what will inevitably occur if you continue down this path.” Vision said.

“I don’t exist,” I said, pushing the thought into his head.

“That won’t work on me, Daisy. You’re only hurting yourself.”

“ _I don’t exist,”_ I yelled, pushing harder.

His gem glowed, resisting my efforts. “Daisy. Please just stop this.”

“ _I. Don’t. Exist.”_ I screamed, pushing with everything I had.

He faltered, and something happened. James turned his face to look at Vision. His fingers squeezed against my shoulder and I felt him wanting to help me.

I took a deep breath. “Vision. There is no Daisy Adams.” I said calmly and pushed. I felt Jamie push with me. Vision’s eyes became unfocused and he drifted away from me.

I staggered to the Quinjet and climbed on board. I put Jamie down in one of the seats, buckling him in place and then went to the medical supply cupboard and took out some gauze and wipe the blood from my face. There was so much. I felt light-headed and my eyes wouldn’t focus. I sat down next to Jamie and closed my eyes, hoping the others would get here soon.

I could hear them over the comms but I couldn’t focus. I was struggling to stay awake. There were explosions happening that rocked the whole jet, but everything kept drifting further and further away.

Steve and Bucky came running up the ramp into the jet.

Steve stopped in front of me. “Daisy? Can you hear me?” He said.

“Get the jet off the ground! I’ll look after her.” Bucky barked.

I felt him crouch before me, his hand went to my head. “Daisy?”

I forced my eyes open but they rolled back into my head. I couldn’t focus on him.

“I’m so tired, Bucky.” I murmured.

“I know, doll. Try and stay awake.” He said.

I shook my head slowly back and forth. “I don’t think I can. I’ll just sleep. It’s okay. It happens all the time. I just overdid it. You look after James while I rest. He’s your son. You know that?”

“I do know that. I don’t know how to be a dad though, doll. You shouldn’t leave me alone with him just now.”

Something exploded near the jet and it rocked violently.

“It won’t be for long. I just … I’m so tired. Steve’s here. He’s his dad too. You can both be his dad.”

Bucky kept talking. I couldn’t hear him anymore.


	17. Chapter 17

I woke suddenly, gasping for breath as the strong scent of ammonia felt like it stabbed me in the face. I blinked my eyes. Steve was cradling my head and looking down at me. I glanced around. I was lying on one of the stretchers kept on board for emergencies. They’d covered me in a blanket. Bucky was holding James, who was sleeping against his chest.

“Daisy?” Steve said.

I went to speak but my voice caught in my throat. Bucky appeared beside me and handed me a bottle of water. I took a sip and looked between them.

“We’re here,” Steve said. “We need to end this. Then maybe we can go home together. Jamie’s sleeping, but we can’t leave him alone. You need to look after him.”

“Okay,” I said, my voice cracking.

“If they come, do what you need to.” He said.

Steve kissed me on the forehead and let me lie back down. Bucky put James down beside me and I snuggled up to him. Bucky pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Stay safe.” He said and kissed my forehead too.

“Come back again,” I whispered.

I half-watched them stand in the door as the ramp opened letting the cold Siberian air blow through the jet. I had trouble focusing though. I just felt weak and still not quite here. Steve put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and they laughed. I closed my eyes.

The next thing I was aware of was the sound of jets. It sounded like the Iron Man suit. I scanned and felt Tony. I scrambled to my feet and staggered to the ramp opening it. Tony was facing it hands raised ready to fire, but when he saw me he lowered them again.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“I am not going to let you take them, Tony,” I said, ignoring him.

“That’s not why I’m here.” He went to move and I shut down his ability to walk.

“Stop right there.” I tried to yell, but my voice just came out as a croak. “You’re wondering what just happened. I shut down your motor functions. Try and use FRIDAY and I’ll shut down your brain. Why are you here?”

“Who are you?” Tony repeated.

“Fine don’t tell me.” I scanned him, sifting through his thoughts. Saw how he found the doctor was fake. How he’d set Bucky up. That Tony just wanted to fix this. I let him go.

My vision went hazy and I swayed on my feet. I turned on him and turned to get back into the jet. “Who are you?” Tony asked for the third time.

“Doesn’t matter. Go help them. I’ll fix that later.” I said, my voice barely audible to myself. I doubt he could have heard it.

I closed up the ramp and collapsed back next to James. He had stirred a little and was shivering. I pulled the blanket up over him and snuggled against him again. He wriggled around for a moment and stilled his head lolling back and his mouth open. I closed my eyes.

The next thing I was aware of was the ramp opening and Steve supporting Bucky onto the jet. I tried sitting up but my head swam.

“What happened?” I asked. “Did the other soldiers do that?”

Steve sat Bucky down next to me. His arm was missing and his pain was so bad that it felt like mine was too. James woke up and started crying. He felt it too.

“It was a setup. Stark did that.” Steve answered. He went to the jets stores and took out handcuffs and walked back down the ramp. Jamie and Bucky were shivering.

“Shh… Jamie. It’s okay. You can block his pain out. You just have to think.” I said, stroking his head.

Jamie turned to Bucky and touched his leg. The pain Bucky felt suddenly eased right back. It was still there, but it was like Jamie had just dimmed the pain receptors.

“Not what I meant, but that works I guess,” I said.

Bucky lay down next to us on his back. James crawled onto his chest and lay down, I covered them both with the blanket.

“You’re bleeding again,” Bucky said, linking his fingers with mine.

“So are you,” I replied. “Tony did this to you? I let him go. He was here to help.”

Bucky shook his head. “We were set up. I deserved it. Daisy, I wish you’d just killed me back when we were in Hydra.”

“Bucky – I …”

He cut me off. “I know.”

Steve returned to the jet. He took James from Bucky and took him to the cockpit. I closed my eyes and let the jet’s engine send me back to sleep while I held Bucky’s hand.

* * *

I woke being lifted onto a gurney by a group of people. I panicked and lashed out, my mind pushing them away. I blacked out.

The next time I woke I was lying in a hospital bed. There were machines beeping and everything was very white. I looked around and saw Bucky sitting up in a bed next to me. He was dressed in white and they’d done something to the stump of his arm. He smiled at me when he noticed I was looking at him.

“Hey, doll. How are you feeling?” He asked.

I went to speak but I couldn’t quite find my voice. Bucky got up and picked up a box of juice from a tray in front of him. He hopped out of bed and brought it over to me, sitting on the side of the bed. I sat up, took it and drank. I cleared my throat and tried again.

“Where are we?”

“Wakanda. In the palace.” Bucky said.

“What?” I said furrowing my brow. This didn’t make any sense.

“Do you remember the guy in black, dressed like a cat?” Bucky asked. I nodded. “That was the king of Wakanda. He offered us a safe place to recover. You can have your baby here.”

“But why? And where’s Jamie?”

Bucky laughed. I hadn’t heard him do that before. Ever. It made me feel light and my heart hurt. “Jamie is with Steve. King T'Challa offered us this safe house because he is a good person and he wanted to do the right thing.”

Bucky rested his hand on my leg. I looked down at it and then back up to him. “I missed you so much, Bucky,” I said, and I started to cry.

Bucky shifted up the bed and wrapped his arm around me, patting me on the back. “I know. I know. But look at what you did. You changed your life. You got away from Hydra. You have a beautiful son. And Steve.”

“I don’t have Steve anymore. You do.” I said. Saying that out loud hurt.

Bucky’s face fell. I tried to read him but he held me out.

“Daisy, you gotta take a break with your powers. Let yourself heal.” Bucky said. “You wanna know what’s in my head I’ll tell you. We don’t have secrets. Do we, doll?”

I shook my head and he leaned in and kissed me. I pulled back away from him. “Bucky. I can’t … what are you doing?”

“I spoke with the doctors. They’ve agreed to put me on ice again.” He said. “I love you. I love him. But for now, you’re going to have to be enough for each other. I can’t risk someone turning me into The Soldier again. I just can’t do it.”

I reached up and put my hands on his head. “I’ll fix it. Get him out of there.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide and he shook his head in real panic. “Stop!” He yelped.

I looked at him confused.

He sighed deeply. “They scanned you while you were out. Doll, your powers are killing you.”

“It’s okay. I swear. They’re just acting up. Like you said, I need to rest. Please don’t go under again. I can fix this. Just give me time.” I pleaded with him.

He held my face in his hand. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll stick around to meet this guy.” He moved his hand to my belly. “I regret not being there for you when you were pregnant last time. If they think you’re well enough to fix me after the baby is born. I’ll let you. Otherwise, I just need the peace. I need to know I am not gonna hurt anyone else.”

* * *

Bucky was let out of the hospital wing that day. They had set us up with an apartment in the palace. So he and Steve went and stayed there while they continued to run tests on me.

Steve and Bucky would come and see me every day while I was in the hospital. They’d bring James. I had wondered if maybe he’d start talking if I wasn’t around all the time, but he seemed to be belligerently refusing to.

Turns out, my abilities were burning out my brain. Which sucked because turning them off was harder for me than keeping them on. They were looking at ways to undo the damage. Including the possibility of replicating the Super Soldier Serum in the hopes that the healing factor it induced might fix the problem. They’d taken blood from both Bucky and Steve to see if they could replicate it. The main concern was the serum’s history of increasing violent tendencies. If they were even able to replicate it, it could be a mistake me taking it.

For now, I just had to hope my resting and not actively using my abilities at all would allow me to heal enough on my own.

Each time Steve and Bucky came to visit they seemed more of a couple. They would come in holding hands. They’d do that annoyingly cute couple thing where you just had to sneak touches. I was happy they had each other but it hurt too. I knew that no matter what they’d be my family, but I’d lost them.

Bucky came in alone one day. He said Steve was going to bust the other’s out of prison. I was a little shocked, to be honest. I guess maybe Steve was capable of more chaotic good that I had thought.

Bucky sat up on the bed behind me. He was wearing white cotton and he seemed lighter that he had for a long time. I rested back against him as he stroked his hand over my stomach. I was only just starting to show, and there was the slightest swell that his fingers danced over. Jamie was curled up against my side. He was very clingy when he came to visit.

I sighed.

“What is it, doll? You sick of being in here?” Bucky asked.

I shook my head.

“Hey, no secrets. Remember?” He said.

“You and Steve. You’re … you’ve been together.” I said. I meant it as a question. It came out as a statement.

“Yeah. We have.” Bucky answered. There was a pause and neither of us said anything. I could feel his mind racing. Wondering if he needed to say sorry, or explain himself or leave it at that. “Daisy … Steve and I …”

I shook my head. “It’s fine. I – You belong together. I just don’t know where I belong anymore. I kind of feel like you’re part of me, Bucky. We shared our thoughts for 20 years. And Steve - we …” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “I’m tied to both of you. Now, what do I do?”

Bucky kissed the top of my head. “I love you, Daisy. This is all a mess. I still plan to go under ice though. Steve’s going to need you.”

That hurt my heart in so many ways. I had started thinking he’d changed his mind. The thing that hurt worst was the idea that it was somehow my job to be Steve’s back up plan. The problem was, I’d do it. I’d do it in a heartbeat.


	18. Chapter 18

I was released from the hospital wing after two weeks. I was so grateful to be out of there. We had been set up in an apartment in the palace. It had three bedrooms and it’s own bathroom and kitchen. The people of Wakanda basically just left us alone to heal and to be. For that, I could never repay them.

James was so clingy that first day back. He wouldn’t let me put him down. If Steve or Bucky tried to take him from me he’d actually use his powers on them to make them let him go. I would make him sit in the corner every time he did it. He’d scream the whole time and as soon as I told him he was allowed to move he’d run back to me and cry until I picked him up.

Steve and Bucky were overthinking everything they did. They wanted to touch each other. They wanted to touch me. Instead, they kept a foot’s distance between each of us at all times and just glanced around uneasily all day.

After I put Jamie down to bed that night, a job that was thankfully extremely easy. His emotions had exhausted him so much, that he fell asleep as soon as his head hit his pillow. I came out to the living room to find Steve and Bucky talking. They’d been talking about me. I could tell that much. It took all my willpower not to dig around in their heads to see what they’d been saying.

“I’m going to bed,” I said and made a beeline for the bathroom.

I took a shower and brushed my teeth and went straight to one of the bedrooms. I didn’t even know which one was the one they’d been using. I just picked one at random. Steve appeared in the doorway.

“What are you doing, Steve? You should be with Bucky.” I said.

“I am with Bucky.” He said taking a step forward. Bucky appeared in the door behind him. “Daisy, we used to talk about this. Do you not want it anymore?”

It felt like all the fears and jealousy I had been feeling were washed away with those few simple words. I felt physically lighter. I started to cry, all the fears and pain I’d been feeling and bottling up coming out in one go. Steve approached me, wrapping me in his arms. “I didn’t think you wanted me anymore. Now you had Bucky back.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I thought you had changed your mind. That you were disgusted by us.”

“Never, Steve,” I whispered. “You don’t love me the way you love him though.”

Steve shook his head. “That’s not how love works, Daisy. I love you just as much though. It’s just different. Different is okay, isn’t it?”

I looked between Steve and Bucky and knew how completely right he was. I loved them both. Bucky was my missing piece. The person who gave me something to live for most of my life. Steve was the one who brought me into the world outside of Hydra and made me know I was worthy and loved for who I was not just what I could do. “Different is good,” I said.

Steve pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped my eyes. “It’s hard to know what to do when you’re not reading people’s minds isn’t it?” He said.

I nodded and he tilted my face up to his. His thumb traced over my bottom lip and he kissed me. I relaxed into him, letting him lead the kiss. Bucky came up behind me, he wrapped his arm around my waist and nuzzled at my neck. Steve broke our kiss and Bucky pulled me back to him, taking over from Steve. It had been so long since Bucky and I had been together but it felt right. Steve was right all this time, I was Bucky’s. Not in the same way he was, but I was. I was Steve’s too. This was how it was supposed to be for me.

Steve hooked his finger into my towel and it fell apart and dropped to the floor. He reached past me and ran his hand along Bucky’s jaw. Bucky pulled away from me and kissed Steve. I was pressed tightly between them, watching these men I loved kiss, their tongues moving together.

I started to unbutton Steve’s shirt. Bucky’s hand slid down my stomach and teased over my pussy. They pulled apart from each other and Steve lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me to the bed, laying me down so my legs were hanging over the edge. He curled himself beside me and pulled my face to his. I wrapped my arm around his neck as we kissed. His hand went to my breast, palming it and pinching my nipple.

Bucky knelt down between my legs and pushed his nose between my folds, sliding up to my clit. He followed with his tongue, running the point up my crevice. Steve kissed along my jaw and ran his tongue over my earlobe, sucking and biting at it.

“What’s happening now … this is about you, Daisy. Bucky and I have spent the last two weeks getting to know what it’s like to be together. Now we need to learn what it’s like for both of us to be with you. If you want to try something, just say the word.” Steve whispered.

My stomach felt like it was in knots. Partially from that tight coiling heat that signals the very beginning of an orgasm, when your cunt floods with wetness. Partially it was fear. Fear of the unknown and of somehow making the wrong choice.

Steve moved down to my breast, he flicked at my nipple with his tongue and grazed his teeth over it. He kept moving down until he was on his knees with Bucky. They moved my legs further apart and together they began to suck and lick at my pussy. Sometimes if felt like they were kissing each other over it. Two fingers were pushed into my cunt, but I was acutely aware that one belonged to Steve and one to Bucky. They seemed to move independently of each other. Sometimes taking turns rolling over my g-spot. Sometimes pressing down on it together.

I started to pant and moan. I fisted my hands into their hair. Heat and sparks coiled through me, spreading out through my body. I cursed and when I went to chant their names, my tongue couldn’t settle on which one to use to it came out as ‘Stucky’. If they noticed, they didn’t say anything. Everything tensed. I gripped the sheets in my hands and I came with a loud moan. They continued to lick and stroke me as my orgasm rolled through me.

Steve stood and helped Bucky to his feet too. I sat and watched them as they undressed each other. Bucky fumbled with buttons, still unused to his missing limb. Steve patiently helped him, never drawing attention to it. When they were both naked they turned to me. Bucky’s hand went to Steve’s cock, and he stroked it as they both looked down at me. I licked my lips and drank them in. These two perfect men who had lost so much, only to have finally been returned to each other.

I stood and approached them. I put my hands on Bucky’s shoulders and turned him guiding him back so he was sitting on the bed. I then took Steve’s hand and pulled him so he was standing beside both of us. I straddled Bucky’s lap and lowered myself down on his cock. We both sighed as he filled me.

Steve crouched behind me. His hands went to my waist and he ran his tongue up my spine. I clenched and a shudder ran through me. I started to rock my hips against Bucky, raising and lowering myself on his cock. He nuzzled at my throat his hand on my hip.

I took Steve’s hand and pulled him over to us. I took his cock in my hand and began stroking it with the rhythm of my hips and I leaned down and took him into my mouth. Steve leaned down to Bucky and they kissed briefly before Steve shifted so his leg was up on the bed and his cock was in a better position for us to reach.

Bucky and I began to suck Steve’s cock in tandem. We’d take turns taking him into our mouths. We’d kiss over his length and run our mouths up and down the sides of his shaft. While Bucky held his cock in his mouth I’d roll my tongue over his balls. All the while I rode Bucky, rocking my hips, clenching around his cock.

I nuzzled at Steve’s leg, grazing my teeth over his thigh muscle. “Steve.” I breathed.

“What is it, beautiful?” He asked, running his hand along my jaw.

“I want you both,” I replied.

He kissed me on the forehead. “You have us.”

I laughed and shook my head. “No. I mean, I want you both to fuck me.”

“Oh,” Steve said. “Oh…”

He pulled away from us and walked around to the bedside table. Bucky lay backward and pulled me down with him. His hand went to my hair and I gripped his with both of mine. We kissed, biting and sucking on each other’s lips.

Steve came up behind us both, running his hand down my back. There was the sound of something being squirted and Steve’s slicked fingers probe between my ass cheeks. He pressed down on my anus and I let out a soft moan.

“Is this where you want me?” Steve asked.

“No.” I squeaked.

His fingers slid down my perineum with a definite pressure. He circled them around massaging the area. I moaned and pressed my face into Bucky’s neck. Steve’s fingers scissored open and he pressed down on my entrance on either side of Bucky’s cock.

“Here?” He asked.

“Yes, Steve. Please.” I moaned.

Steve slid one finger inside my cunt. He rubbed it up and down Bucky’s cock and Bucky groaned his hips thrusting forward. “Fuck, Stevie.” He panted.

Steve chuckled. “You like that huh, Buck?” He said. He pushed another finger inside of me and slowly spread them inside me as he moved them up and down Bucky’s length. “What about that, pal?”

“God, yes.” Bucky groaned.

I was whimpering into Bucky’s neck. I felt stretched and full. The entrance to my cunt was stinging slightly but I wanted more. I wanted both of them.

“Please, Steve. I want you.” I pleaded.

“Okay, beautiful. I just don’t want to hurt you.” Steve said. He pulled his fingers away. There was another squirt of lube and I felt his cock press against my cunt.

Bucky and I both stilled as Steve slowly pushed inside of me. I whimpered and bit down on Bucky’s shoulder as my pussy stretched to accommodate both of them.

Bucky stroked his fingers through my hair. “You alright, doll? We can stop.”

“No. I want this.” I said.

When Steve was completely inside of me, he paused. Allowing me time to get used to how full I felt, letting the burn abate. Slowly he started to thrust.

All three of us began to pant and moan as we moved against each other. Bucky began thrusting too. We kissed, and Steve nuzzled and nipped at the back of my neck and along my shoulder. When Bucky and I broke our kiss, Steve leaned past me and kissed Bucky.

Gradually any of the pain I had been feeling left me. I just felt good. Pleasure coursed through me and I gave into it. Heat and pressure wound tight inside my stomach. My core tightened and when it relaxed; I came. I cursed and cried out their names.

My orgasm sent Bucky over and he released inside of me, his cock pulsing.

Both men pulled out of me, and I rolled off Bucky. Bucky stroked his hand along my jaw and kissed me. It was tender and deep but brief. He got up and dropped to his knees in front of Steve and took him into his mouth. I watched as Bucky brought Steve to climax. Steve’s eyes closed and he bunched his finger’s in Bucky’s hair. Steve came with a grunt. Bucky swallowed it and got back into bed lying on his back and licking his lips.

I lay down into the crook of his arm and he pressed his lips onto the top of my head. Steve lay down on my other side and draped his arm over me so his hand was resting on Bucky.

“That tasted like both of you,” Bucky said.

I laughed. “Is that a good thing?”

Bucky closed his eyes and smiled. “Mm. Such a good thing.”

“How are you feeling, Daisy?” Steve asked.

“A little sore. Happy. But a little confused. This was good. I’m glad we’re together. I’m glad you have each other, and that you still want me. But it’s kind of weird isn’t it?” I said.

Bucky started laughing. “Doll, when we grew up two guys weren’t supposed to do what we just did. Let alone two guys and a gal.”

“You love us both don’t you?” Steve asked.

“Yes. So much.”

“That’s how I feel about both of you. I’ve spent way too much time overthinking my relationships and not acting because it wasn’t the right thing to do. I keep losing people before I have a chance to even tell them how I feel. I’m done with that. I have you both and I’m acting on it while you’re both here.” Steve said.

Bucky smiled and leaned over and kissed him. When he lay back down he rolled onto his side so he was facing me and started placing little kisses along my jaw. I giggled and tousled his hair.

“Can I ask a question? I don’t know if it’s something I should ask. I don’t normally have to ask when I want to know something.” I said.

“No secrets, doll,” Bucky answered, nuzzling against me.

“When you were alone … are alone together, how is it different to when you’re alone with me? I mean, besides the obvious.” I said. I felt childish asking.

Bucky looked over to Steve like he didn’t have an answer.

“Well,” Steve said. “Bucky and I have a long history. So there was a lot of that involved. We were family even before this. I guess one thing that’s different, besides the obvious, is you know how you always tell me not to hold back but I do because I have to? I don’t have to with Bucky. Not if doesn’t want me to.”

“Is it bad that you have to hold back with me?” I asked, slightly dreading the answer.

Steve laughed. Warm pleasant laughter. The first I’d heard from him since the day Tony came to the compound with the Accords. “No. It’s just different.”

“Can I watch you both one time?” I asked.

Steve looked at Bucky. The question made him uncomfortable, I could feel it even without using my abilities.

“Never mind. Sorry.” I said.

“It’s okay, Daisy.” He was still looking at Bucky, but he moved his hand stroking it down my throat. Bucky nodded to Steve. “You can watch us some time if you want.”

Steve’s hand slid down over my chest and to my belly. He ran his palm gently over the slight swell. “The tub in our bathroom seems like a decent size wouldn’t you say? Wanna see if we all fit?”

I jumped up. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” I squeaked. I started to run to the bathroom, but Steve caught me throwing me over his shoulder.

For the first time in my life, I felt totally and completely happy. I felt like I might finally be home.


	19. Chapter 19

Our time in Wakanda seemed to be going past far too fast. Our little family was becoming far more relaxed and comfortable around each other. There was still this looming cloud of sadness because no matter what we said to him, Bucky was adamant that he was still going into stasis.

We did our best to just enjoy it. Enjoy the peace and safety that had been provided for us in Wakanda. I was slowly healing. Emphasis on the slow. The medical staff wasn’t willing to do anything extra while I was pregnant. So it was just rest my powers as much as I could. I was afraid that by the time the baby was born I wouldn’t be well enough to fix him and he’d leave us again.

King T'Challa gave Steve a new shield. It was a dark navy blue bordering on black with no embellishments at all.

Bucky also had his arm rebuilt. He was hesitant at first. Sure it would make him a higher risk. Eventually, he just wanted to be able to hold Jamie while he did other things and he relented. His new arm was made from vibranium and designed by the engineers of Wakanda. The technology here was so advanced compared to what was available in the rest of the world. Even being around Stark tech constantly didn’t prepare me for the things I saw in Wakanda.

Steve started drawing again. He would sit and sketch most days while we sat around just being together. Drawings of the jungle. Drawings of James, of Bucky and of me. There were often sketches and doodles just littered around the apartment. James started copying him. He’d take crayons and pens and sit down at the table next to Steve and they’d draw together. James’ pictures always the bright scribbles of a toddler.

Bucky started cooking. A lot. He’d experiment with recipes. Every day we had a new dish to try. He particularly liked to bake and our little apartment was often filled with the smell of cakes and bread.

My favorite thing was just the four of us sitting around being family. Maybe we’d have an old movie on. Jamie would be on the floor while the three of us sat all tangled together on the couch. I liked their hands being on me. I liked mine being on them. Not even in a sexual way. Just having someone to touch. Being intimate with them.

It was getting to the endpoint of my pregnancy. Things were progressing normally. The little life in me would send out these loud thoughts of light and color and sound. It was like having a strange art exhibition in my head at all times. I lay against Bucky’s chest on the couch with my eyes closed listening to her thoughts. Steve was trying to get James down to sleep, and Bucky was playing a game where he’d press down on my stomach trying to get the baby to push back.

“You still awake, Daisy?” He asked, wrapping both arms around me.

I hummed in reply.

His hands slid over my breasts teasing my nipples.

“Bucky,” I whined. “You know how on edge I am.”

He laughed and nuzzled at my neck. “Why do you think I’m doing it?”

His hands slid down my side, over the swell of my belly and teased over my pussy. I shifted my legs and he pulled my skirt up and slipped his Vibranium fingers into my panties. I hummed leaning back against him tilting my head back over his shoulder.

“Buck.” I breathed. I nipped at his earlobe and he pressed down on my clit with his cold metal finger. It sent a shiver through my body.

“What is it, doll?”

“I love you,” I said. I had gotten into the habit of telling him that as much as I could. Maybe trying to guilt him into staying with us? Maybe just so he knew it was true. He was loved. We were here for him.

“How did I know that’s what you were going to say?” He laughed.

I pushed his hand away and rolled over sitting on my knees in between his legs. My hands on his shoulders. “I love you, Bucky,” I said placing a kiss on his neck. “I love you.” I kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. “I know you do. I love you too.” He leaned forward and captured my mouth with his.

I pulled away from him laughing. “You’re crushing your daughter.”

He let me up, pushing me back so he could crawl in between my legs. He put his face up against my belly. “I’m sorry, Sarah. I hope you’re doing okay in there. I gotta take care of your ma now. She’s insatiable.”

He grabbed hold of my panties and yanked them down.

I squealed and shifted in the seat, opening myself up to him. “Don’t tell her that.”

Bucky laughed and then swiped his tongue up the folds of my labia. His tongue flicked at my clit. I moaned as he first circled the entrance of my cunt with his fingers and then pushed one inside of me.

Steve came through the door, quietly closing it behind him. “Oh, I see how it is. I go do the parenting and you both start without me.”

“He started it,” I said tapping Bucky on the head. Bucky laughed but continuing licking and fingering my cunt.

Steve strolled over. “I’m sure he did.” He said and slapped Bucky on the ass. He crouched down in front of me and brought his lips to mine. I moaned into our kiss as Bucky dragged his fingers over my g-spot. “Do you want me to leave you two alone?” Steve asked when he pulled away. I shook my head.

“Buck?” Steve asked.

Bucky looked up at Steve and smiled. “Of course not.” He said.

Steve slid his hands under me and lifted me. He carried me to the bedroom while I squealed and kicked my legs. Bucky followed us stripping his clothes off as he walked into the room. Steve placed me on my feet and lifted my dress off over my head. I unhooked my bra, and Steve spun me so I was facing away from me and began palming my breasts. They were quite sensitive and I couldn’t decide if I liked or hated it. I leaned back into him moaning.

Bucky came up to us both. He kissed Steve and I stroked his cock as he did. He then turned to me. I ran my tongue around the side of his mouth before our lips met. He took my hand and started leading me away from Steve. We climbed back onto the bed together, Bucky sliding onto his back.

Steve climbed up behind us spreading Bucky’s legs so he could sit between them. I straddled Bucky, facing away from him. Steve held his cock, guiding it into me as I lowered myself down. Bucky sighed as he filled me.

I started to rock my hips against Bucky. Rolling against him, raising and lowering myself on his cock.

“Lean back for me.” Steve purred, nibbling the skin on my neck.

I leaned back, resting my hands on Bucky’s abs. Bucky slid his hands down my arms and took hold of my hips. He started to guide my movements, slowing or increasing my pace as he wanted.

Steve lay down between our legs. He started to lick from Bucky’s cock all the way to my clit. Each swipe of his tongue sent shock waves through me and made both Bucky and I moan. Bucky’s hands dug into my hips and I held them so he wouldn’t squeeze too hard.

Steve suddenly sucked my clit into his mouth. I came. My orgasm rocking through me. My whole body tensed up and I held onto Bucky’s hands with all my strength.

Bucky lifted me off him and stood. Steve moved so he was sitting beside me. His hands traveled over my body. He pressed his lips to my ear. “I want to fuck you, Daisy.” He whispered. His hands traveled down between my legs and teased over my pussy. “Is that what you want.”

“Yes. Please, Steve.” I whimpered.

“Say it, Daisy.” He growled.

“Please fuck me, Steve.”

He pushed me onto all fours. He pulled his t-shirt off and dropped his pants. I waited, trembling on all fours as he lined himself up behind me and entered me. His hands slid over my back and down my arms as he thrust into me. Bucky came up behind Steve pushing him more tightly against me. While Steve fucked me, Bucky fucked Steve. We were three people as one. We moaned and thrust and panted. My arms gave out and I rested my head on them as I came apart. Steve nuzzling at my neck.

We came almost as one. Me first. I was always pretty close at the moment. Then Bucky and finally, almost a split second later, Steve.

We collapsed into a heap on the bed. Bucky hand ended up in the middle and Steve and I spooned ourselves against him, our legs and arms all tangled together. It wasn’t long until we were all asleep.

* * *

I woke in the middle of the night, a sharp pain radiating out from my side and up my back. I clenched my teeth and rode it until it passed. Bucky was whimpering. I stroked my hands through his hair, and even though I knew I shouldn’t I pressed calm and love onto him. He stilled and I got up to pee. I always needed to pee. Sarah liked resting on my bladder.

As I walked to the bathroom something happened in me. I was suddenly just standing in a pool of water. I first thought I’d wet myself. That that must be some weird side effect to pregnancy I hadn’t been told. Not that anyone had told me what to expect anyway. Each pregnancy was just me learning as I went. It took a moment to remember about the whole ‘waters breaking’ thing. I’d never gone through it before.

I waddled back into the bedroom and shook Steve. He blinked up and me blearily.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I think my water just broke,” I answered.

Steve woke Bucky and told him what was happening. I changed into some clean pajamas and Steve took me down to the medical wing. About an hour later Bucky had joined us both, having found someone to watch James.

It was a long labor. I’d never been through one before. I was monitored closely because of the risk my body was in because of my previous c-section. I did it though. With Bucky and Steve at my side, Sarah came into the world, healthy and loved at 11.43pm that night.

She had wispy blond hair and bright blue eyes. Her mind went out touching on all the minds in the room and finding comfort in the ones she was familiar with. When Bucky took her from me, he held her to his face and smelled her. Sarah’s hands waved around with no purpose. She didn’t even know what they were, but one caught in Bucky’s hair and Steve had to help him free him from her death grip. It made me laugh. They looked so much like family. It made my heart feel full.

Bucky looked up at me and smiled. There was so much love in that smile. That wasn’t all of it though. He was sad. The arrival of Sarah was a marker for him. It was time for him to go onto ice.

I felt my heart break.


	20. Chapter 20

Bucky spent the next two weeks just being with us. Preparations were made for his stasis. That all happened elsewhere. In our little world in the palace we just were. He particularly seemed to want to spend as much time with the children as he could. He would sit on the ground and build things out of blocks with Jamie. I’d find him on the couch with Sarah with her sleeping soundly on his chest while he read. Sometimes Steve would be sitting behind him, Bucky leaning against him. Steve’s hand would be resting on Sarah and I felt like I was going to cry. More than once I found Bucky, napping on our bed with both children.

I started to get desperate to stop what was going to happen. He couldn’t go under. I knew he had to while the Soldier was part of him but I also knew that I could fix it if they would just let me.

“I can get him out. Please, just let me try.” I pleaded.

We were all sitting on the couch together. It was our last night together. The children were both asleep. Sarah would wake again in about five hours. Under normal circumstances, we’d be using this opportunity to sleep. We were all restless though.

I reached for Bucky. He swatted my hand away and shook his head. “You aren’t well enough yet,” Bucky said squeezing my hand. “Plus you only just had a baby and you’re still healing from that.”

I toyed with his hand, running my thumb along his. “I have been healing though. You could let me try.”

“I know this is hard for you, doll. I do. It doesn’t have to be forever. You can come back when you’re well again, but I’ve been like this for far longer than I’d like to have been. You need to let me rest.” He got up and I looked up at him sadly. He ran his finger down my jaw. “I’m going to go have a shower.”

I turned to Steve. “Can’t they use the serum on me?”

He shook his head. “The result they are getting are disturbing, to say the least. I think it would be more likely to kill you than heal you. They’re working on it though.”

I lay down against Steve and he stroked his hand through my hair. “How can you be okay with this?”

Steve laughed but it was hollow and empty. “You know that I’m not.”

“What do you think we did that the world can’t just let us be happy? Why is it punishing us?” I asked. Tears had started to slip down my cheeks.

Steve squeezed me against him. “There was a time I used to believe in God. After all that’s happened …” He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s how the world works. Things don’t happen for a reason. They just happen. We’ll just have to appreciate the happiness we can get when it happens.”

I lay clinging to him when an idea hit me. “What about the Ark? The one that made Vision. Doctor Cho. If she could fix Clint, maybe she could fix me.”

“I did actually think about that. Helen is friends with Tony though. I’m not sure it would be safe to contact her. I’ve sent out feelers. The engineers here have been looking into the same technology. They’re in talks with her to bring some here. We can hope.” Steve answered.

“We can’t let him go under, Steve. We need him. I need him. He’s a piece of me.” I whispered.

Steve lifted my head up to face him. “He loves us. He wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t think he needed to. You have to give him the dignity of his decision.”

Bucky got out of the shower and I went and took one. When I was finally ready for bed I headed to the bedroom to find Steve and Bucky lying on the bed. They were both half-naked and just kissing and stroking each other. Their hands sliding over each other’s backs.

They looked up at me when I entered and I took a step back. “Sorry. I’ll come back when you’re done.” I said.

Bucky held his hand out to me. “Come here, Daisy.”

I shook my head. “You know I can’t. It’s okay. You should have this. I don’t mind.”

Bucky curled his fingers beckoning me over. “This isn’t about sex, doll. Come to bed.”

The three of us kissed and touched and held each other taking time to appreciate this last night we had. We fell asleep Steve spooning Bucky from one side, and my from the other.

* * *

I woke to the sound of Bucky whimpering. He was saying things under his breath. Calling for Steve. For me. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I started by soothing Bucky’s mind so that he wouldn’t wake Steve. Steve had already wrapped an arm around Bucky and pulled their bodies closer together. It had become an automatic habit and they didn’t even wake when they did it. If Bucky didn’t still though Steve would wake and I wouldn’t be able to do what I had planned.

I sat up and grabbed a handful of tissues from my side table. I held them to my face and went to work. I scoured his mind, finding every trace of his brainwashing and picking it out. I cleared him of the triggers and the torture and the need to comply. I took it all out and as I did my nose began to bleed.

My blood seeped through the tissues onto my hands, but I didn’t stop. I started arranging his mind so that his memories of when he was tortured and the things he did as the soldier wouldn’t plague him anymore. He’d still remember them. I wasn’t erasing his life. I was just manually doing the thing time would normally do.

My head started to swim but I kept going. If I passed out that wasn’t the end of the world. When I was finally done, I felt weak. I took a few deep breaths and stood. I looked at the clock. It took a little while for my eyes to focus. It said 2.39. Sarah would wake soon. I just needed to clean myself up.

I stood and wobbled on my feet.

* * *

The first thing I was aware of was crying. That wasn’t unusual. We often woke to crying since Sarah joined our family. I opened my eyes. The bed was empty except for me and it was dark. My head felt light and I took a deep breath and savored it. I couldn’t even remember the last time I just felt so me.

I slowly realized the crying wasn’t stopping and that it wasn’t just Sarah. There was another small voice wailing calling out to Daddy. Jamie.

I scrambled out of bed and nearly fell over Steve. He was crouched on the floor cradling Daisy.

“Stevie?” I said it like a question. But I knew. I knew what had happened. She hadn’t wanted me to go under. That’s why I was so clear she’d taken the Soldier out of me. She wasn’t with me either. She was always with me, but right now I was just me. I had thought just me and died seventy years ago.

He looked up and tears were leaking from his eyes. Daisy was covered in blood. “She’s not breathing.” He said.

“Steve you gotta get help.”

He shook his head and just held Daisy’s lifeless body closer to him. I went to the kids.

Things passed in a blur. I know I took Jamie to Steve. He kept asking for Mama. I’d never heard his voice before. I thought if I ever heard it, it would make me happy. It didn’t at all.

I remember not knowing what to do with Sarah. She wanted to eat and she wanted her ma, but I couldn’t give her either thing. I called for help and they sent medics to take Daisy away. They also sent formula. I fixed it while Sarah screamed into my ear.

When I finally managed to calm her enough to feed her, Steve came in with Jamie. We sat huddled up together, not saying anything.

A funeral was arranged. Steve had wanted her to go back to New York and be buried where she had first found her home. We couldn’t even give her that. After all the things she’d given us. Her love, a family, my mind, each other, and we couldn’t give her a resting place where we knew she would want to be. Instead, she was cremated. We still have her ashes. We don’t know where we should take them.

Steve was shattered. She should have let me go under. Why did she have to do this to me? I now have to live with her blood on my hands too.

He tried to contact Tony Stark. Some of his friends came to her funeral. The dame… Natasha said that Tony didn’t remember her. That she must have done something to him. That someone named Vision was the same. That broke Steve just that little bit more.

We couldn’t stay broken though. We were parents now. We had to be strong for them. Steve had planned to leave Wakanda with Daisy and the kids after I went under. Instead, he took me. We settled in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Wanda came with us. She wanted to help with the kids and the head thing they could do. It was nice having her around in the end. I liked just us. Not having to run and being able to be together. Steve always needed more. He needed people. He needed something to stand for.

Jamie talks a lot now. He went from never making a sound to chattering away like he’d been talking for years. As much as I love listening to him, I would take it away if it meant she could come back and they could have their private conversations in their mind again. I wish I could hear him say the word Mama to her and have her answer instead of just hearing it that one time as he screamed it out in anguish.

The thing that really hurts is neither of them will remember her. They’ll never know a world with Daisy in it. They’re going to grow up not knowing how strong she was and how she fought so hard for us to be a family. How kind she could be. How much she loved them. All of us really.

I wish she could know how much I appreciate what she did for us. How she kept me, me. How she looked after Steve. How she never gave up trying to get us back together. I am happy with Steve. I am happy to be me again. I love my children. I finally feel like after all these years I’m who I am supposed to be and where I am supposed to be. I’ve found my home.


End file.
